The Chase

My fingers get weak from constantly reaching for the holy grail.

It has been too long, and my skin has grown bumpy and pale,

And my nails are peeling off whenever the north winds hit me.

I once promised to chase the green light until I die,

But now I am ready to leave this city.

The ones who care simply tell me to pack up and run away,

They refuse to see me chasing new highs every other day.

The height is starting to scare me too, I cannot even lie,

But the pulsating light calms me every evening,

Begging me to give it another try.

My eyes are slowly losing their perspective on the past.

This voice in my head says that only the future will last.

Sometimes I believe it, but sometimes I squeeze my skull

Until all the grand thoughts turn into mush,

Until all the sharp edges become dull.

The ones who know me well tell me to look in the mirror,

They beg me to stop, they command me to see it clearer.

But the death wish I carry in my backpack excites me,

It wraps around my torso like a poisonous snake,

Then chokes me out in my sleep.

-Jackie