Tag: author

The Haunting

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Photo by Eugene Golovesov

There was a chill in the sigh that escaped your lips

Before your words drove blades into my bruised neck.

I thought I knew it all back when we built this ship.

I thought we could find a shore if I stayed on the deck.

My fingers wore your calluses like they were jewels,

The moonlight made my dark worries seem too small.

While I was asleep, you took the profits and tools,

And you hid the last prophets in my bedroom walls.

“A willing participant, a creature well below me.”

Did I will your cruel plans into my tranquil life?

Once they bury me, will they think of me as a trophy?

Will they ever find the chains, the cages, the knife?

-Jackie

Beast In Sheep’s Clothing

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If we part our ways tonight, perhaps one holy day

I won’t need to imagine what it feels like to be loved.

If I land this last curse, perhaps you will sigh in pain,

But perhaps I will wait here for the push to shove.

You treat me like a headache on a rainy fall night

That kills your joy and pulls you in its red claws.

I begged for care while you killed me with freedom.

The land was long dead when you wrote its first laws.

If I leave you to die here with this curse you carry,

Will you dance with your fate or will you push through?

If another one falls for the beast in sheep’s clothing,

Will I finally let myself blame this on you?

-Jackie

First // Only // Nobody

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I am frozen in time, watching my feelings become inconsequential

They fall like snowflakes into piles and evaporate under my gaze

You were the great love of my life, you were my greatest tragedy

Sparks suffocated under assumptions in our lustful summer daze

I took you for wind, I took you for wings, I almost took you home

Your tongue was a blade I learned to walk without cutting my feet

You took my word for it, you took every inch of privacy I once owned

And I never thanked you for cheering when I finally had to retreat

Your apartment is still there but I do not pass the building anymore

Running into you could heal me but it could also tear me into two

Your favorite candy sits on my kitchen table and I smile to myself

Imagining how something so golden could turn into something so blue

-Jackie

Beyond Repair

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Photo by Mario A. Villeda

Loveless phrases are spilling out of me like a curse.

My only vice was despising cruel people in reverse.

Thoughts carry me like doves, they carry me in a hearse,

And if I cry for help, I will be murdered by a nurse.

Horrendous images project on my eyelids for days.

Wise people left me for dead but some still chose to stay.

The cracks are spreading like the horsemen of my dismay.

I am far beyond repair, do not warm up the clay.

-Jackie

Insomniac

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Coherent thoughts escape my bloodshot skull and drying tongue.

Red stars form into constellations while tar fills my two lungs.

I stay up haunting ghosts and braving flea-bitten memories,

And sun might rise in a few hours but I must find a new remedy.

Caffeine, wine and white agony mix sweet drinks in my chest.

Why does dread taste like candy but hope hisses like a pest?

The crowd of people on the bridge turned out to be just smoke,

But every person I talk to takes my delusions as a joke.

I do not sleep until the fist of god knocks me unconscious.

I pray to my own moral compass, asking it to stay cautious.

The night comes and fate runs me like a hamster on a wheel.

One of these days death will consume like an overdue meal.

-Jackie

Unwilling Angel

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They put me in the ground each evening,

Thinking that my wings can grow again,

Hoping for my halo to stop bleeding,

But I just cannot find the strength.

They cut my throat with autumn leaves

And let me paint the snow cones scarlet.

I was once one of the thieves,

I was once their shining harlot.

-Jackie

Fresh Graves

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The cement they filled my boots with won’t be enough to hold me down.

The scarlet salt they threw on my door won’t bless this haunted town.

I will run to you each morning and I will use this red love as a bayonet.

When all is said and done, these fresh graves will be our last safety net.

-Jackie

Threats

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I put down my pen to upkeep your peace.

I broke my feathers while you were asleep.

Bloody scars raised questions in the dark,

But your words left bruises and purple marks.

Silver amulets swung from your stingy neck,

Yet I did not see an ounce of regret.

I put down my shame to ruin your glory.

I will put down your life if you do not feel sorry.

-Jackie

Blame

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I wasn’t the bad guy, I wasn’t your torment.

I was the last prophet for your killer temptations.

You left mud on people like they were your doormats

And you blamed me for it with no hesitation.

-Jackie

The Silence

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Photo by Anna Shakhrai

I read the sentences off the page like it wasn’t a testimony,

A testament to the heaven and hell you once ruled.

I sung paragraphs until words became homophonies,

And the phone never rung,

It just called me a damned fool.

-Jackie