I Don’t Remember Last Monday

It’s evening again, I try to recall what has happened,

How all these minutes slipped through my fingers,

How all my moments are suddenly overlapping

And not even one stays with me,

Not one lingers.

It’s a Tuesday again, I barely remember this day.

When did I bruise my arm, when did I scream?

It feels like the clocks lie, they lead me astray,

And each evening the city lights wink,

They deceit me and gleam.

But it’s a Thursday, I don’t remember last Monday.

Maybe I’m doing something wrong, how can I fix it?

I’ve never believed a god, but for my time I will pray,

I will pay for a way out of this hell,

Just give me a ticket.

Just tell me it’s not a Sunday again, I can’t take it.

The jewels on my wrists sparkle at perfect strangers.

When I look at them, honey, I see love so naked,

So perfectly empty and shallow,

I feel foolish for ignoring the danger.

And I see you come home late at night, I don’t care.

I let the alcohol and your insecurities tear you apart,

Because I know that I have nothing left to spare –

You broke my shining eyes,

Then left my soul in the dark.

Still, it’s going to be a beautiful morning tomorrow,

You will pretend like you haven’t taken my civility,

Like you have never known the source of my sorrows.

I will upkeep that illusion, I will,

For the sake of my own stability.

It’s evening again, I try to recall what has happened,

How all these minutes slipped through my fingers,

How all my moments are suddenly overlapping

And not even one stays with me,

Not one lingers.

-Jackie