Undecided

It’s just another evening of me burying you in bejewelled falsities,

Dragging you down the rockiest paths, dusting you with faux niceties.

My moods swing and dance violently in circles, just like the Saturn rings,

But you’re patiently collecting my poisonous words even if it stings.

Will you stay when I’m needy, will you stay when I forget myself?

I’ve asked my reflection and she’s undecided, begging me to get help.

Yet you keep holding onto the sails when the winds hit our discounted ship,

When the glass flies all over the room, when the rim cuts your lip.

If my mind’s a cave, it’s the darkest one you’ll ever see in real life.

The rocks pierce your skin, you’ve been used to the impact for some time.

You carry me to the bed each evening despite my brain growling loud –

And it’s just another night of my anxieties losing more ground.