Leaving Ante: Part I

Stuck

The bar doors are open and neon light falls shyly onto the crosswalk.

A stranger bumps into my bare shoulder. It won’t interrupt the sweet talk.

Cigarette ashes land on glass tables and cover my stained ruby soul.

If he didn’t ask, I would’ve never admitted that I started at the pole.

Three stools away a thoughtless wave of laughter erupts, over and over –

I see doubt in the eyes of a girl and I want to scream, this much I owe her.

The moment is gone when a bottle of wine crashes leaving red dots in the corner.

Where was my savior back then?! Was I always a fraud and a goner?

My lids feel heavy as I’m guided to another cherry-colored car.

I wonder where my self-respect went, it really can’t be that far.

But perhaps my dignity was another re-run of a wonderful mirage.