Notes on a napkin

How do I let you go?

Have asked myself a hundred times, a thousand times more

Than would be needed – if I had the intention to stop wanting you,

Not longing for you anymore.

I don’t and it drives me insane.

There are these ticks and anxieties I get when you speak,

But I know that the anger will fade

And next morning you’ll still be the thing I seek.

How do I forget how much I love you?

I hate you still about the things you said a week ago

But I can’t wait for you to uncover another cover that I blew.

You sink me just to keep me unharmed – and afloat.

There’s nothing I need more desperately than you by my side when it gets rough.

You’ll never learn about the times you saved me – as it’s not enough.

I feel like I can climb into your mind sometimes and all I find is devotion,

Seasoned heavily by damaged goods, looking for that special potion

That will get your huddled shoulders one more opportunity to be sincere.

You still don’t get it but your shortcomings make people cohere.

Your smile works like poison as it makes me die a little in my sleep –

But that’s another vision I’m not allowed to keep

When I finally wake up and you’re not there.

Were you ever really squeezing my waist, were you really here?

I don’t know anymore, and hopefully – one day I will not care.

You’ll be just a name I don’t want to hear.

So how do I let you go? How do I forget you?

How do I wake up one morning willing to regret you?

Will you leave yourself if I ever let you?

Do I throw a little funeral and see where the wind carries the ashes?

Is it going to be an open road or a city with bright neon flashes?

Do I just sit and watch as the time passes?

How do I let you go?