Shades of Blue

Lately I haven’t been mentioning you that often

Or how one darn smile could make all the tension soften.

I haven’t been sharing our jokes — and that’s good, I suppose.

Your laughter’s translucent. I feel like I loved a ghost.

These days I barely remember the uneasy feeling,

The heaviness, crumbling pain, white wine on the ceiling.

Dragged my knees through the streets, painted them shades of blue,

But now the pink glass has shattered — and my worst instincts, too.

Often I see you reaching for solace through my front doors

But I’m no longer a kid and that makes you insecure

About what it is you did to make me despise your guts.

I would tell but I’ve got no interest to save you from ruts.

Way back you filled my thoughts to the point of aspersion.

I didn’t recognize myself, that was a different version,

A rip-off of me and everything that I stand for.

But, sure, you can privately call it ‘flirt to strengthen the rapport’.

Lately I haven’t been talking about you daily

Or how you abused me and then made the lines seem hazy.

I don’t have time for your acts — and that’s great, I’m proud.

My laughter’s all rapturous. Backbone remains unbowed.