The white roses are covered in the morning mist
As you walk out the door with red rage in your fists.
I don’t know where you’re going,
Don’t know if you’ll come back,
But my heartbeat is slowing,
Healing from your attacks.
Still, I smell the pale flowers as I watch you go,
With each step that you take I breathe in more vertigo.
I don’t know where you’re going,
Don’t know if you’ll come back.
Maybe I’m tired of knowing,
Maybe I’ve lost track.
-Jackie
Her parents told her she’ll never grow old and gray.
“That’s exactly what you get from going astray.”
She learned quickly that there’s a price to pay,
Even for the little things, like another damn day.
So, she prayed to the false god and all his apostles,
She begged for the unreachable, for the colossal.
The chaos became her home as she grew hostile,
The memories of easier times became just a fossil.
Yet, her mind was so sharp it broke blood oaths.
Her tongue danced on soft necks before cutting throats.
Soon she found friends in people the others loathe,
She found music in places no one sang odes.
Time passed, and her parents forgot that she existed,
They devoted themselves to raising her sister,
And she was grateful they did, she didn’t even miss it.
Every broken, warped part in her became untwisted.
-Jackie
They tell me I float through crowds like a muse,
They say I get them high on whatever I use.
But I am living in their fantasies, fading out,
Waiting for them to notice that I got too loud.
The dresses are getting dusty in my tiny closet,
My faux pride is my only safety deposit.
The phone keeps ringing when they get lonely,
Thinking they can fix it if they finally bore me.
They swear I am the one they have been chasing,
Still, their drinks taste like misery and light lacing.
After all the lavish nights, I have only myself.
The crowds smother me, they break my spell.
The pink glitter runs off me during cold showers,
It flees my face when I am crying for hours.
But no number of tears can break my chains,
So, I wait it out, I just wait out the pain.
-Jackie
My cup is spilling dark red on innocent people,
It is overflowing as I beg for a breather.
But my legs keep spinning in these perfect circles,
Erasing my breath, erasing my purpose.
Love, I have lost my balance for half a year,
And when I bawl, I hope they overhear.
“Oh, she is chasing her catharsis, let it be,”
They say, then put sedatives in my tea.
Yet, they are not wrong, I have been looking.
My mind is dead, it is growing a new king.
He burned my kingdom with his father’s matches,
But fire, honey, it sparks, and it catches.
So, watch as I break right into his plots,
Make him someone he swore he was not.
I am chasing my catharsis, just let it be,
Just kneel in front of my grand treachery.
-Jackie
The sight of me tastes sour on your lips,
And it rips open all the scars I left,
It bruises your fingertips.
Still, you cannot look away for a second.
I reckon betrayal hurts more
When delivered with a dull weapon.
My smile, it bites like a poisonous snake.
Do not fake the niceties, no.
Key my car, spit right on my cake.
The way I was never yours chokes you,
And you know it is getting close,
It is painting your face blue.
Your spite wins as usual, so you beat on,
You choose wrong, keep hurting
Until the wind becomes too strong.
Yet, the sight of me still tastes like blood,
It comes like flood, then fades,
Drowning you in the mud.
-Jackie
The only peace I know lies besides me on the cold kitchen floor,
And it shakes in silent relief each time I let go of the score.
The only voice I follow breathes gentle symphonies into my ears,
Covering my head in bright fantasies that slowly dry my tears.
The only hope I have left trembles silently in the darkest corners.
It does not know whether it belongs with the lovers or the mourners.
The only grain of patience I have for you is finally coming apart,
And you know that this time you will not make it
If I do not give you a head start.
-Jackie
Your silhouette dances on the top of my thoughts,
It stomps its heels on my untangled words.
Your Cheshire cat smile gets brighter than the moon,
Reflecting my anger, bending me like a spoon.
And I try to escape it, but I only sink deeper.
Every next hill feels steeper and steeper.
I cannot avenge the blood I have shed.
I want you as my wine, want you as my bread.
Your porcelain teeth dig into my arteries
Until the poison you spew becomes a part of me.
You echo my screams, turn them into lullabies,
And I become dull, wrapped up in your paradise.
-Jackie
The rain is coloring the tree branches blue
Every morning I put a new hex on you.
The windows are fogging up with memories,
Crying in my cruel treachery.
I was never your victim, never a martyr.
As per them, I was always faster and smarter.
People laughed when I finally told my story,
They begged me to say that I am sorry.
But the storm is painting the skyline black,
Wrapping me in trust I cannot get back.
The ceiling is dripping some yellow paint,
Telling me I will die in vain.
I was a pawn, I was just your mistake
In this tale where you just take, take, take.
People shouted as they shrunk me to zero
And painted you as the golden hero.
-Jackie
Your wings smother me in my sleep,
And I am frightened,
A little too scared to scream.
My head is under the shiny surface,
And the water erases me,
Leaving me clueless.
The dark forest leans over my head,
Reminding me of the sun
And its million threads.
You steal the cold air from my lungs,
But I am just furious,
I cannot bite my tongue.
My knife pierces your vicious wings,
And you are taken by surprise,
So, you let me steal the rings.
As soon as you have finally bled out,
I let myself breathe in
And lose the lingering doubt.
I cut off your nimbus, break it in half,
Melt it in my hot palms,
Then patch up my scars.
You were an angel, you were a curse.
Despite all your powers,
I killed you first.
-Jackie
Good morning, my love, I truly hope you slept well,
I hope I didn’t wake you by picking up the parts that fell.
Please take a seat and taste the sweet, black coffee.
It’s only going to burn if you say that you love me.
Good morning, my dearest, I hope you’re well rested.
It must’ve taken a toll, to be beaten and bested.
Please take a moment to kneel before my bare feet,
Take in the burning cheeks and your shameful defeat.
Good morning, honey, I hope your world is collapsing,
I hope I’ve melted every part that is made of plastic.
Please swallow your hoaxes, keep them to yourself.
They’re only going to choke you if you ask for help.
-Jackie
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 