Drown Me

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In my nightmares I lose my teeth and run from people who left me years ago.

It is tragedy after tragedy, lost moments and memories that feel like vertigo.

I sip champagne from ice glasses and slay the men who trapped my flesh,

And as soon as I awake, the deep wounds I once healed feel raw and fresh.

In my nightmares the people who stayed are swept away by terrible hurricanes,

But in my dreams I get to meet some people who will never learn my name.

I hang from windows of old buildings and scream until my lungs are wrecked,

Then fall to the ground just to wake up in my own bed, drenched in cold sweat.

In my nightmares I follow creatures down the paths I choose to never take.

If they keep it between us, nobody has to know what happened by the lake.

I walk on the frozen surface until I see the cracks spreading around me…

Because in my nightmares nobody else but me can finally drown me.

-Jackie

Little Confessions

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We confessed our sins and you got pardoned.

They burned my ships and blew up my harbors.

Life shows its funny side only to those who win.

Hard to keep your head above the water

If you never learned to swim.

Yet, I always told myself you were the exception,

I gathered the crowds, granted you protection.

In the midst of it all, you found reasons to leave,

Claiming that I am just a trickster,

Always carrying a card up my sleeve.

But I planted roses while you killed my truth,

And when I fell from grace, you offered a truce.

My God, how did I lose my crown so quickly?

You moved your tongue like a bullet,

I never knew what hit me.

All the confessions got spread across the streets,

Not yours, only mine, only those about my sheets.

Love, you really should have known better than this.

You might shake the ground beneath me,

But I never miss.

-Jackie

Promises

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I promised to never let go of the face looking back at me from the mirror,

And I married myself to the sparkling idea that ego make ones path clearer.

Now I repay the sacred vows I have broken with everyone else here but me.

What kind of wicked tales they will tell when asked about my legacy?

Still, I can shatter all the mirrors I see, but I cannot get rid of the shadows,

They linger above me like a shameful mark dipped in pain and sorrow.

I wish I could take the promises back, I wish I could erase the damned eyes,

But they have grown too keen on cutting throats and twisting up alibis.

-Jackie

Another Life

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I am a poison worse than fate,

And I kill with the secrets I hold.

Take me to the eternity’s gate,

Smash my head against the gold.

But you cannot unlock my lips.

The words you spoke are not mine.

Stop pulling with your fingertips,

The only thing you have is time.

So, take another route, forget me,

Do not even replay it at night.

I will go my own way if you let me,

Save your sins for another life.

-Jackie

Miss Me

The moon only leaks red when I’m with you,

And time turns to vapor, then paints me blue.

I hope one day you get a chance to kill it.

Once you bury me, burn my soul on a skillet.

The air bleeds venom whenever I scream,

And the more I fight, the more I rip my seams.

I pray that one day you will miss my fury

Or the times I made your world go blurry.

-Jackie

The Last Battle

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Drop your act to the floor and walk onto the stage to dance.

I know you would die on your knees if I gave you the chance.

Your tight designer shirts cannot hide your beastly fangs,

Your ever-present grin cannot hide the blades in your hands.

And I wish it was different this time, I wish I could spare you,

But it was you who challenged me, told me not to fear you.

Then you stepped on my fragile neck as your followers cheered,

And I swore I would make you an enemy to those you held dear.

Drop your act to the floor and walk onto the stage to fight.

This is not a friendly contest, this is a battle for your life.

Your bloody teeth cannot hide the shakiness of your breath,

And soon enough you are going to wish that we never met.

-Jackie

Drowning

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The pale whites of the sails are barely visible.

I cannot fight the agony,

It is nothing but physical.

My stomach is twisting and turning inside.

I cannot see the sun,

I have nowhere to hide.

The water pressure is squeezing my throat,

And I am out of wishes,

Out of reasons to float.

All I can ask for is a wrinkle in this timeline,

A bump to lift me,

Throw me towards the limelight.

But the sharks are circling around my ankles,

Waiting me to tire,

Expecting me to be in shambles.

I know I do not have much time to write this,

I will give up quite soon,

Become strange and lifeless.

The pale whites of the sails are barely visible.

I cannot fight the agony,

It is nothing but physical.

-Jackie

Salt

Photo by Charl Durand from Pexels

Even though each day I feel less and less like I’m sinking,

I still find crosses to carry, burdens that keep me from winning.

Their tentacles wrap around my ankles as I swim up.

I know they’re lying when they offer me to drink from the cup.

Each day the sun rises, but it delivers a little less warmth.

It is punishing me for refusing to play the damn part.

The rays twist and turn through the layers of my pulsating skin.

I still find curses to bury, legacies that I simply cannot win.

-Jackie

Twisted Games

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Was I just a bump in the road?

Was I just collateral damage?

Men like you think they deserve power,

They slay, then offer a bandage.

It is me who is going to ruin you,

Take it in, let it hurt.

Your regal blood is worthless,

And I don’t want to say a word.

You spat me out like a fly,

Tried to rip my will to pieces,

But no one spins a story like me,

Twists truth until it ceases.

So, was I just a fleeting feeling?

Was I just an undone memory?

Men like you don’t have any power,

They lose it all to me.

-Jackie

Storyteller

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Your stories haunt my daydreams to this very day.

They dance on my walls like a shadow play.

I close the black curtains and sit alone in the dark.

I dream of a land that is, oh, so far.

But your stories puncture my ears like a drill,

And all I can really do is let them kill.

They flash before my eyes in violent crashes.

Your stories never appealed to the masses.

So, they haunt my days and torture my nights,

Strap me of sanity and deplete me of life.

I close me eyes, hoping you will not get in,

But I am yet to see an ending in which I win.

-Jackie