These crowded streets and these crowded bars
Paint me yellow and bitter like dying stars.
These endless journeys and buzzing tales
Fill my stomach with acid until my eyes turn stale.
-Jackie
Crowded
Tag: Others
Dozens
I write dozens of breakup notes each evening,
Trying to capture the coldness of my feelings.
I can’t wait to erase you from my slate
And clean your grey bones off my empty plate.
Yet, I wasn’t yours and you weren’t mine.
We ignored the red lights as we crossed the line.
I write dozens of breakup notes each evening,
Getting sick of the shards stopping my slow breathing.
-Jackie
Insecurities
I don’t know how to tell myself “no”,
So, I let petty things and jewelry distract me.
I’m nothing but a price tag myself,
And I worry my small problems will one day attack me.
I demonize those who do better,
I root for their downfall while inhaling fumes.
They probably feel how insecure I am.
They don’t want me to stay in the room.
Still, revenge is the one thing that drives me,
And if I don’t feel it, I don’t feel at all.
My lack of self-control controls me.
I’m scared that one day it will tell me to crawl.
-Jackie
Confessions
You alter the air I breathe until I barely recognize it.
Loving you feels almost like living on a different planet.
We watch movies and spill our most shameful stories.
I hide my true self between sarcasm and allegories.
You push me away when you cannot take the rush.
Honey, is my love supposed to exhaust you this much?
I do not want to wait another night for you to say
That you have lost your patience and cannot stay.
I am deeply insecure, always scared of my own fear,
But I would beg if that was all it took to keep you here.
You dissolve my narcissism into lukewarm peace.
I must now get used to not flying from the trapeze.
-Jackie
Fresh Daffodils
What did I do to deserve this?
The spinning elephants, the roaring circus,
The lights wrapping the octagon,
Announcing a battle I have already won…
Why did my house of cards fell?
Joy has one rule – never oversell.
So, I wonder how I got it all wrong
Before the fate finished its favorite song.
Not that I skipped any lessons, no,
I always had some shoes to throw.
I was the kid sitting in the front row,
Re-writing scripts for Broadway shows.
So, what did I do to deserve this?
The fire turning my insides into hubris,
The hot coal beneath my aching feet
And your voice announcing my defeat.
Why did you take the castle down with you?
You promised to never paint it blue.
Now my mind is freezing itself alive,
And no one dares to give you an alibi.
It is you against everyone else again,
You against those you once called friends.
And you watch as the pressure builds
Until we die on your damn hills,
Then you go back to the city,
Looking for fresh daffodils.
-Jackie
Six Decembers
Today I’m thankful for you,
Even for leaving me alone in the desert,
Even for letting me down,
Letting me drown in my own hurt.
Truly, I’m thanking you –
For the reasonable and the absurd.
I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt,
And it’s more than you’ve ever deserved.
I watch others drop their mirrors,
I see them struggling to breathe.
They cut their fingers on what’s already shattered
As I watch from a quiet backseat.
Their emotions get the best of them,
They glue the pieces together in rage.
But my tears are frozen in time,
Trapped in an aluminum cage.
For that, I’m thankful to you.
You don’t have a heart and neither do I.
As the world collapses on itself,
I never even cover my eyes.
Today I’m choosing gratitude,
But tomorrow I’m going to remember.
You froze me to death when you walked away,
I’ve been numb for six Decembers.
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 