Final Toast

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Love, did I deserve to be treated that way?

You finally got me alone,

Nobody standing between you and your prey,

And you took whatever I refused to give,

Pretending you can mold me like clay.

But you gifted me hate you can never outlive,

The only good thing from that day.

Now I hold that memory close to my heart,

Hoping you pray I never give it away.

Love, you are so scared I will show my cards,

You sink your tears in old ashtrays.

My truth haunts your soul like a ghost,

It will always be there, it will stay.

I am the one thing you fear the most.

Still, you chose to get your way,

And this is your final toast.

-JW

Something About That Night

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Your trembling palm reaches out to things it can never afford,

It reaches out to people it can only hold down with a sword.

There was something in your voice when you spoke the first word.

Perhaps I should have known better, perhaps you always wanted more.

I have been guessing how many women have burned your clothes,

A simple number that would give me pure solace, I suppose.

Between all the agreeing voices you hear, must be hard to hear noes.

When they set fire to your misdeeds, I will buy out the first rows.

And I did not hate you before, no, but you hated yourself in advance.

My humanity was just a performance to you, just a dance.

You might wonder some nights if I would have given you a chance.

The answer is right there, hiding between your violent hands.

I keep losing sleep and I hear you keep losing the grasp on reality,

You take all the worst parts of yourself and dress them as divinity.

Do not hold your breath waiting for me, I have run out of civility.

Men like you buy their sins in dozens until they reach infinity.

And your trembling palm reaches out to things it can never excuse.

You do not play to win, you only want to make the others lose.

There was something in you that summer night, but I missed the cues…

Perhaps you should have known better the first time I refused.

-JW

Behind The Dark Pine Trees

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The marigold sunrise spilled over us like a chilled drink,

It dripped down our parched necks,

It brought the fog and clipped our wings.

And the mist landed on our lids with a bright promise,

Vowing to erase the fears from last night,

Vowing to fill our future like a chalice.

Your warm palm slid down the back of my bare spine.

I knew we could not stay here forever,

I knew you were never truly mine.

But the sunrise satiated our irises until they bled red.

It fed on the freezing silence between us,

It poured wine and broke bread.

We were torn apart before we could even resist it.

The sun hid behind the dark pine trees,

The wind swore that we never excited.

-JW

The Silence In Your Room

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I do not hear them talking about you anymore.

You have locked their lips and sealed the bedroom door.

Once the bell rings and they hear your steps on the stairs,

All the heaviness will sink, leaving them bare.

But not today, not even tomorrow, honey.

You left us like a cruel god, you cursed them and judged me.

I feel like a child wishing on a falling star at night,

Counting down the passing cars until I run out of light.

Even now I cannot blame you for leaving me behind.

They were coming at you like vultures, gnawing at your mind.

You asked for my guidance, but I never called you back.

The love you wasted on me stung like a heart attack.

If I must be honest, I wish I could erase that part.

The silence in your room turns all air heavy and hard.

But you have melted the key and locked that damn door,

And I really do not hear them talking about you anymore.

-JW

Damnation

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The corsets bend my ribs to your every command,

They straighten your grin and numb my pale hands.

You give me a lit candle as we silently dance,

And whenever I stop, you push me down in the sand.

I get up and reach for you, it feels so easy.

These games you play, they break me and tease me.

Is this the rock bottom or the coast of a deep sea?

No, I cannot tell, I sip you like green tea.

The metal cages you build shock my fingers,

You try to keep me from becoming an ice-cold thinker.

One touch of your skin and I forget that I am sinking.

You leave in a rush, but your scent, it lingers.

And I know this is a trap, I do not need salvation.

You have become the king of feeding my temptations.

If I keep my shoulders straight and just stay patient,

We will both burn in the passionate flams of damnation.

-JW

The Belonging

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You told me tales like ours turn to dust before being written.

I promised I could keep this one burning, but I got too smitten.

Our roads took us far away from each other before we fell,

I did not send you flowers, and you did not send me to hell.

Three full years slipped through our fingers like sinking sand.

My ships tamed roaring oceans, but you stayed on the land.

We heard stories on their lying lips about how we once loved,

And they turned our thunderclouds into the whitest kind of doves.

Each time I passed the city, all the reflections lured me in,

It felt like even the sun was turning me towards your sins.

Then one day I wandered onto the street where we first met,

So angry and alone, every brick in the wall owed me a debt.

I turned to walk away but there you were, a standing prophecy.

Your auburn hair flowed over my emerald coat as you greeted me.

You smelled like the ocean waves I once were badly longing,

And you told me there is no spell stronger than The Belonging.

-JW

Red Sirens

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The lightbulbs in my palace buzz the name of my betrayer.

I kneeled in front of his tarred lies,

Believed him when he promised to return for me later.

But I stand alone as my silhouette melts away like snow.

I bowed my head in front of his grace.

You know I would sell a soul for a chance to let him go.

The lanterns warming up my cold street scream in agony.

I crawled my palms raw in front of him,

Took the sound of time running out for a symphony.

But now I sit on the freezing rock floor in complete silence.

I laid my life in front of his insecurities.

Still, I would die again at the sound of his red sirens.

-JW

Voiceless

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The voices that haunt me are deliberating in the corner.

I bet by Monday they will have fresh lies to tell me

And a better plan for getting me to the coroner.

My consciousness is floating in boiling charcoal debris.

As the voices sharpen their crooked yellow teeth,

I struggle to say a word, I struggle to breathe.

They approach me with crosses, raining blood on my bed,

And stare in disgust mixed with vain satisfaction

When I silently whisper, “I would rather be dead.”

The voices that haunt me are screaming my every thought.

I bet by Tuesday they will quiet me down

And dance in the ashes of all the fights I have fought.

-JW

Calling Me

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You are calling me from the castle,

Telling me all about the power I will never obtain.

You want to love me, then call it a hassle.

Your kingpin father forbid you to burn his remains.

Every night I peek through your gilded fences,

My curiosity twists around in circles like a snake.

I try on your family’s crooked lenses,

It seems like you live in a truth that I cannot taste.

Your guards call me Alice as they chase me,

But I keep my feet quick and refuse their guilt.

The spinning arrows they shoot erase me.

I wake up from the daydream on my windowsill.

And you are calling me from your castle,

Telling me about the ignorance I cannot obtain.

You want to show me how to reach it faster,

But I digress, there is no joy in your golden pain.

-JW

The Wanderer

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She cursed you to wander the windiest forests for a decade or two.

The shadows turned you into prey, your guilt turned you ocean blue.

And you might have walked the forest alone if you never met me.

I might have even escaped your bear trap if I was not this petty.

They say tragedy imitates action, oh, but I beg to differ, my dearest.

You begged the forest to swallow me whole when I thought I was fearless.

To my surprise, it listened and made me walk the darkness with you.

She cursed you to wander endlessly,

Never knowing that she has cursed two.

-JW