I can’t kill the buzz, no, I can’t kill the buzz.
It tames me, it puts me on my knees,
It rips off my innocence and my peach fuzz,
And it won’t stop, it won’t hear my pleas.
I can’t drown in out, no, I can’t drown it,
There’s nothing better on the news.
I sit and listen as the clocks keep counting,
There’s nothing left for me to lose.
-JW
You watched me falling over the edge,
You watched me disappearing into the dark.
My heart hardened as I crossed the ridge.
Don’t reach out your hands, don’t wait for a spark.
I landed on a lonely rugged surface.
I painted my lavender sky with charcoal and soot.
Your aluminum chains gave me hospice,
But don’t sentence me to another year of rot.
-JW
The night covers my honesty in dim lies.
It is just you and me beneath late October sky.
The moon drips silver in your empty cup.
I reach for the light, but I am out of luck.
And you dance through the grey branches,
Shuffling the particles into avalanches.
It is a perfect storm with us in the middle.
I try to entangle the story
But each part is a new riddle.
-JW
My body sinks into your peaceful waters
Until the pale lips no longer need air.
The oxygen I cherished
Disappears in a flair,
And my longing flesh feels perished.
My fingers sink into your wavy hair
As ship horns blare in the distance.
I open my eyes
To your loud persistence,
And I know it has all been lies.
-JW
Don’t deny my hate,
Don’t tell yourself those stories
To save your own fate.
Drop the allegories,
Don’t twist and spin.
The moment you left,
You knew you wouldn’t win.
Go, carry your debt
With your heart of tin.
You sealed your doom,
Wrote it in roses.
Accept your gloom
As the door closes.
-JW
Your voice felt like ice water on my warm skin on a summer day.
As you were approaching me, they warned you –
But you still found a way.
Your words untangled my worries, they soothed the burns and aches.
I kept on wondering whether you made it in time
Or was it way too late.
Your scent wrapped around us like an ungodly string, indestructible…
Little did I know back then –
Even promises can turn cold and corruptible.
Your eyes gave me shelter but the winds were still way too biting.
My fingers held onto your cheeks for hours.
Still, you let them take me without fighting.
-JW
Once again, I am burning alive between two gospels and a lie.
Your eyes tell me adventures I wish I were naïve enough to try.
The heat engulfs my left lung when you ask if I am ready.
To spite my consciousness, I drop into the flames, hot and heady.
I heard they used to call you unsteady, what a loud falsity.
They probably confuse every fire with misunderstood honesty.
And my palms shiver as I reach out but the heat is shaking too –
Cannot help but wonder if you ever knew
How I incinerated for you.
-JW
The cold water never truly invigorates me.
I keep comparing everyone else to you.
After a month they get tired of my company.
But, baby, believe me – I do too.
Somehow it is always your opinion
That stays much closer to the truth.
I counted your mistakes and got to a million.
I still miss the way you played a brute.
But even though the hope is fading,
My head is still under the water, so frozen.
They said my lips were not for waiting,
They called my heart an endless ocean.
Somehow you knew it was a lie.
Still, you watched as my face turned blue.
The cold water never got me high.
But, baby, believe me – never did you.
-JW
The pain only lasted for a moment or two.
I put myself together with stiches dipped in glue.
My palms grew selfish, my skin grew slicker,
I covered the scars in bright blue stickers.
And some wanted to soothe my brittle bones –
But I do not deal in misery, I suppose.
So, I burned all the gifts they graciously brought me,
Perished the lies they branded “true stories”.
The ache lived through me, it laid roots like a tree,
You wanted to drown my sorrows in the sea.
Yet, the beacon guided you away from the bay.
But do not worry,
The pain only lasted for a day.
-JW
I’ve drafted way too many goodbye notes to let you finish a single one.
I’ve shot myself too many times to ever trust you with a barrel of the gun.
Call out my double standards and swear that you’ll never speak to me,
Comfort your vividly green envy but let my wide eyes be your prophecy –
Don’t you ever follow me, don’t you ever step a foot in my direction.
Trust the gut that’s pulling you away from the path of polished affection.
The little perfections will turn into an avalanche that buries the strongest.
One day the immaculate snow won’t melt away until the middle of August.
Take my advice as a warning but don’t carry it home like a gilded shield.
You can’t learn a lesson worth your while if your lips are spitefully ceiled.
But I’ve drafted too many farewell addresses to give you any ink for free.
Put my silly words in a backpack, waste them over another nosebleed
Until you find your true creed.
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 