Tag: Jackie’s diaries

A Little Forgiveness

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Deepak Ramesha from Pexels

Love, I hope you know I won’t die for you,

No, I can’t die for you right now, can’t do it tomorrow.

My mind runs like an animal in the zoo,

Trapped yet still hopeful to escape all this sorrow.

Love, I hope you can forgive me for being late.

Perhaps I won’t show up, perhaps I’ll die on my way.

Pain is gnawing at my stomach with raging hate,

Playing with my arteries, treating me like prey.

Love, I hope you see what I’m going through.

The next morning isn’t promised, and I’m done trying.

Yes, I’ve loved you for years, and I’ll love you anew,

But for now, I must step away because my heart is dying.

-Jackie

What Happened Here?

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Sebastian Voortman from Pexels

You hold your words like a murderer’s knife,

And it’s dripping blood on abandoned beehives.

You poison the rivers with your crocodile tears,

And the green gardens die as the summer nears.

You cut all the ties to what I have created.

Each thing that I adored becomes a thing I’ve hated.

You break stories into half like dry branches,

But mine bends to the wind until I run out of chances.

You scrape the sanity out of my bones

Until the snow melts and the leaves change tones.

You drop me like a weapon after a massacre

Until people look at me and ask:

“What happened here?”

(But you, you never really have the answers,

To you we are all just pretty dancers.)

-Jackie

Grave Digger

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Tristan Le from Pexels

All the scars I left on your villainous skin ache when you think of me,

And your bones, they always hurt like a broken apology,

Just like the one you never gave me,

Just like the one I never returned

Right after I said I’m done surviving your fatal burns.

Yes, you treated yourself like a victim when I was fighting for my life.

No, it was never my threats, nor it was ever my sharpened knives.

The lights were on, everyone saw it,

But it wasn’t the first grave you’ve dug,

And just that easily yet another victim was swept under the rug.

But I managed to slip through your greasy fingers like running water,

I ran to a far land where no one called me a sister or a daughter.

You tried to track down my mind,

You searched all the deserts and all the mines,

Then angrily smashed every part of legacy that I could call mine.

Still, all the bruises you marked me with pulsate when you near me,

And your harsh words rule my head like it’s a tyranny.

But one day you’ll be done,

One day it’ll crash over you like a wave,

And you’ll be out of unruly women to blame, accuse or defame.

-Jackie

Answer The Question

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Zeeshaan Shabbir from Pexels

What do you tell them about that chilly evening?

Do you call it cursed like I do?

Do you dare to call it enchanting?

You grabbed my body like I was a fleeting feeling,

Then destroyed the ground where I was standing.

All that for laughs and dimes,

All that for nothing.

Just so you could feel my skin on yours for a couple more times.

I truly hope that memory was your cherry on a whipped cream topping,

And I hope I was the reward you wanted the most in this race.

Yet, you know what they say about mad women,

Especially if their enemies have a name and a face,

And the story of their fury has a clear beginning.

You do not believe it though,

You tell them I got lost in translation.

I will not correct you, I am running this show,

Teaching the viewers about the consequences of an innocent causation.

So, do not mind the heart palpitations that will follow,

Do not look away as the story unravels.

My heart is charred, and it is hollow,

Do not beg for mercy or seek out a fair gavel.

Instead, answer the question.

What do you tell them about that chilly evening?

Did you develop an obsession?

Do you just not care about me bleeding?

I am coming for everything you ruined for me,

And for every lie you tell,

I will multiply that one pound of flesh by three.

Was it all for nothing then or was it a spell?

Feel free to spill before your monomyth becomes a tragedy.

-Jackie

The Anger

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Stella Shvetsova from Pexels

My anger lazily sits in my shallow chest,

It has run out of productive things to do,

It is done with wishing you all the best

As my sky is now empty and dark blue.

My anger swings its legs in the air,

And the temperature climbs below zero.

The anger has my eyes, icy and fair,

As you brand me a whore

Who sees herself as a hero.

-Jackie

Fate

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Rachel Claire from Pexels

But what if I smile for just a moment too long?

What if I sweet-talk my way into your thoughts?

I think I have it in me to resist the pull, even when it is strong,

Even when you feel like sunshine to a blinded moth.

And what if my youth lingers in your eyes for decades?

What if all it takes is just one willful gaze?

There is this string in me, singing that I met you too late,

Warning me to not treat my time as a game.

So, what if I just ask you to stay around for a while?

What if I beg on my knees, what if you beg too?

I wonder if fate is taking notes with a big smile,

Wanting me to self-sabotage the love I have for you.

-Jackie

The End

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Lisa Fotios from Pexels

You sting like a bee,

You taste like poison on my lips,

But you tell them it is my fantasy,

It is my curved hips.

No one likes my truth,

You ensure it is erased.

It is always me, never you,

And your face remains unphased.

But I spat out the venom,

You were not looking.

I hid behind blue denim,

We were on the wrong footing.

Now I bite like a snake,

I taste like death on your tongue.

You know you cut your own brakes,

You know you killed me too young.

-Jackie

The Erased

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Lukas Hartmann from Pexels

I let them break me in the tiniest pieces and parts

Until every last inch of me is a bleeding shard.

I let them bend me in twists and stretch me out,

Then they ask me to smile and lose the pout.

My shoulders are heavy, and my back is weak,

I cannot fall asleep, and it has been a week.

My voice seems to get all the answers wrong,

I cannot face the journey, it is way too long.

So, I just let them drain me of the holiest blood,

And I watch as they paint the whole neighborhood.

I let them erase me and all I could have been

Until they reduce my whole life to a sin.

-Jackie

The Tender Ground

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Chanita Sykes from Pexels

I wonder if they’ll bury me below the very same oak trees I grew up under,

I wonder if they’ll see my mischievous eyes in the shadows,

Sparkling in burnt umber,

Screaming in pain like haunted gallows.

I haven’t known a home in years, but who can blame me?

All those voices try to hush my words,

Try to soften the sharp edges and finally tame me,

Just like an animal in the cage,

But they cannot really make me.

Still, I wonder if they’ll burn me alive or just suffocate me in my sleep.

I wonder if they’ll ever see the humanity in my face

Or how when they harm me, my eyes turn deep.

I lower my lashes and beg for space,

For a moment of rest in this tender ground,

But they laugh as they bury my bones,

And my last hope twitches at the sound

Until it is finally quiet, and I am all alone.

-Jackie

The Passenger Seat

jackiewrightauthorLeave a comment
Photo by Rene Asmussen from Pexels

Sometimes I just let the devil in my skull take over for a while,

I let it swallow the bile,

I let it fake the smiles

Until every last monster thinks it is in the clear –

And that is when I deliver the blade to their deepest fear,

Humming as their screams pierce the atmosphere.

Sometimes I just watch my life like an old movie,

I do not let my insecurities move me

Or keep me from my roaring fury.

The journey is often clearer from the passenger seat,

So, I never wait until my neck bleeds,

I do not wait until I ruin the plot by accepting a bitter defeat.

-Jackie