Tag: Jackie’s diaries

It evaporated that warm August night when I waited for your call,

But it did not come through

Because whenever I picked up my wings, you dropped like an anchor and stalled.

It evaporated after you did not check in after my late-night flight.

You did not tell me a single thing,

Then went silent when I tried to beg, borrow, and pick up a fight.

It evaporated that evening I reached out to you as the last resort,

And all you did was distance yourself

When I needed a soul that could help me hold up the fort.

It evaporated that October morning I woke up not calling your name

After months upon months of screaming it,

And that morning I knew I had a shot at winning this game.

It evaporated when I told you I wanted you and not your reason,

But you turned it into a childish gag,

Breaking what was left of my pride into the smallest pieces.

It evaporates as I type out these words on this tired screen.

I do not think there is much left,

And you will not stop until the water turns into pure chlorine.

It evaporates, but only because I bled myself dry to keep it flowing.

I am older now, so I can admit it –

Sometimes I wish I had a shot at not loving,

Not knowing.

-Jackie

You call me venomous as you drift off to sleep,

But my poison only bleeds through my skin when I’m attacked.

You tied yourself around me and dragged me into the deep,

And I don’t think I ever got my bravery back.

You drift through these halls like a medieval ghoul,

Trying to convince me that the living made your bed.

You give each soul you know these tasks, then burn their tools,

And as a punishment you burn the city and the shed.

People hold your hands but you stare at the space,

Preaching silly little psalms about how we’re never free.

You tear down smiles until frowns freeze on faces.

I swear you’re not the one I met when I was twenty three.

-Jackie

It’s never a good idea to raise the dead, but a man must kill what he buries,

And since you buried us by the church, I’m done picking words like cherries.

I guess that’s alright, you just don’t have the time to reach out these days.

Hope you’re out there finding a younger fantasy to mold like fragile clay.

You know better than the rest what it feels like to sneak up on people like prey,

Go out of your way for years to build trust that’s easily smothered in a day.

You convinced me I was mean for questioning your righteous ways.

Now you tell your sleepy city that you weren’t even planning to stay.

Maybe I got it all wrong, maybe I should’ve paid more attention and money,

But I guess now we’ll never know, and I guess you’ll never find it all funny.

I’m just a buzzkill, just a stone you used to get closer to the grand prize.

I’m a wicked witch haunting people until they change up their old alibis.

You see, it’s not a good idea to raise the ones we put in black caskets.

The truth is knocking from the inside, and the curse is begging for me to cast it.

-Jackie