Villain

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I had my friends over for a housewarming celebration,

Watched them dancing all night like we were on a vacation.

But your eyes stayed dark despite the golden sparks,

You sighed as we chaperoned them through the park.

And you said: “Everyone loves you, it must be so great,”

While you were scrubbing plates back at my new place.

Your thoughts raced like wild horses, knocking me over,

And this furious anger tapped lightly on my shoulder.

My mind counted excuses just to free you of this fantasy,

There is no currency less valuable than jealousy.

“I truly hate to be the bearer of bad news, but, love,

Nobody here signed up for your one woman show.”

You ran out of the room, I heard you putting on your coat.

I almost felt relieved you left me stranded on this boat.

And we both knew the reason, you told me last night.

My truth was a white flag, still it cut you open like a knife.

You told me it was fine, fighting back the boiling tears.

When he entered the room, you made sure I was near.

“What a bizarre little place, wouldn’t you agree?”

He smirked at your attempt to break my right knee.

And your eyes stayed cold all evening, freezing me numb.

Now you are back at his place, gossiping over rum.

You know it was not me, you know I am not your villain,

I am not yours to replace like an unpaid fill-in.

-JW

The Final Pariah

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My throat throws flames at the furious crowd

As you burn me at the stake like a witch.

You wear the royal jewels, you wear the crown,

They ignore that you are nothing but a snitch.

And I am your ticket out of persecution.

I hope my death will reunite your family.

The flame in your eyes was just an illusion,

I should not have bitten down that hungrily.

Still, no matter how hard you try to deny it,

I never run out of cheap tricks up my sleeve.

You might brand me as the final pariah.

You know I will linger, I will not leave.

So, I breathe in until my chest is overflowing,

Then spew the flames at the dry wood below.

They scream, but the heat is way too numbing.

I burn myself alive in the warm city glow.

-JW

Leaving Me

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I know I might collapse on the beige floor before this next chapter begins,

But there is no time to nurture my own humanity in these violent hills.

Last Friday I passed out in my bed, limp and filled with sharp anxiety pins.

They are asking me to take one day off, but I cannot bear staying still.

The rain slips down my face like the tears I never dared to cry out loud.

I know I am guilty of only showing my masks when I face the crowd.

The questions they throw at me resonate, they drown out my sound.

I would abandon this hopeless life, but my ego tells me I am not allowed.

-JW

Prayer

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You sit on my chest, breathing heavily,

Your words weigh more than a grand piano.

I tell you lies like “I missed you terribly”,

And my voice switches to a soprano.

You swing your legs from the edge of my ribs,

Digging your heels into my lung.

It must be true – you get what you give.

You are my death, and I met you too young.

But you just laugh, sounding like the devil.

No, I cannot stay mad at you.

I remember how I was once your rebel,

Now that memory feels like a worn-out shoe.

Yet here you are sitting on my chest,

Dragging me down like a rusty anchor.

I hope you know – I tried my damn best,

Despite the blasphemy and the slander.

-JW

Cheap Wish

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You didn’t have to drive your spines through my esophagus,

You didn’t have to build up your defenses.

You shouldn’t have insisted that you’re speaking for the both of us

As I was bleeding out on your white picket fence.

Still, you put me back down like a cheap T-shirt in the store

When you didn’t find a use for my gentle words.

You didn’t even have to pay a pretty penny for my soul.

Still, you just used me when you were bored,

Then you set me ablaze like a cheap wish on a New Year’s Day.

I filled the night sky along with the fireworks.

You told me how people like you, oh, they only play,

And my part in all of this was to keep up with your score.

But you didn’t have to scratch your nails on the back of my neck,

You didn’t have to paint me black and blue.

I guess you knew that when you called me a wreck,

I guess I was never enough to truly keep you.

-JW

Follow You

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The tall trees behind me breathe on my neck as I step out in the field.

Greyish clouds are playing hide and seek with the moon, acting as its shield.

My eyes get used to the darkness, the night bursts and flows into my irises.

The first raindrops slide down my back as I close my lids and dream of pyramids.

White lights flicker around me, they surround me like a cackle of hungry hyenas.

I taste the electric air with my lips, it wraps me in gentle foam like Venus.

A moment more and I will not feel the rain or the shadows standing behind me.

Just one more heartbeat and I will have the courage to follow you blindly.

-JW

The Duality Of A Loving Man

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Your breath settles on my skin like fairy dust,

It leaves seafoam green glitter everywhere.

I have to climb out of this rut, I know I must,

But your eyes warm me more than the sun,

And that is not fair.

Your thoughts surround my head like bees.

I am covered in honey and floral scents.

The wind takes away my money, my keys,

And I try to chase them in the meadow,

But my vision is too bent.

Your words dig into my wrists like shackles.

My head spins, looking for an escape.

I cannot give you my trophies or battles,

No matter how much you push me down

Or choke me with tape.

Your fingertips grab my jaw with passion,

I know it is one of your many games.

You laugh as you step on my final rations.

There is uncertainty in your voice,

And I know I am to blame.

-JW

Champagne

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Two bottles of champagne later you will forget my face.

You tried to be transparent while your truth was covered in lace,

And it distorted the image, it only showed some of the puzzle pieces

As you were stitching together my ideas for your winning thesis.

Honey, I have no anger to spare for your second-hand love.

Two bottles of champagne later the push will come to shove.

Your silky excuses will once again block my sight like muddy fog,

And I can only hope this time I will not chose wrong.

Your kisses will drip down my neck like the first spring rain.

I guess it is easier to apologize if you never felt the growing pain.

Two bottles of champagne later your mercy will be wasted.

You will watch me running for the door, wanting to erase it,

You will be setting fire to my life right from the moment we met,

And the distorted image will change again, until I finally forget.

-JW

Final Toast

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Love, did I deserve to be treated that way?

You finally got me alone,

Nobody standing between you and your prey,

And you took whatever I refused to give,

Pretending you can mold me like clay.

But you gifted me hate you can never outlive,

The only good thing from that day.

Now I hold that memory close to my heart,

Hoping you pray I never give it away.

Love, you are so scared I will show my cards,

You sink your tears in old ashtrays.

My truth haunts your soul like a ghost,

It will always be there, it will stay.

I am the one thing you fear the most.

Still, you chose to get your way,

And this is your final toast.

-JW

Something About That Night

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Your trembling palm reaches out to things it can never afford,

It reaches out to people it can only hold down with a sword.

There was something in your voice when you spoke the first word.

Perhaps I should have known better, perhaps you always wanted more.

I have been guessing how many women have burned your clothes,

A simple number that would give me pure solace, I suppose.

Between all the agreeing voices you hear, must be hard to hear noes.

When they set fire to your misdeeds, I will buy out the first rows.

And I did not hate you before, no, but you hated yourself in advance.

My humanity was just a performance to you, just a dance.

You might wonder some nights if I would have given you a chance.

The answer is right there, hiding between your violent hands.

I keep losing sleep and I hear you keep losing the grasp on reality,

You take all the worst parts of yourself and dress them as divinity.

Do not hold your breath waiting for me, I have run out of civility.

Men like you buy their sins in dozens until they reach infinity.

And your trembling palm reaches out to things it can never excuse.

You do not play to win, you only want to make the others lose.

There was something in you that summer night, but I missed the cues…

Perhaps you should have known better the first time I refused.

-JW