The cold grains of sand dance around your grave,
And I water the dead flowers, but there is nothing to save.
My blood boils in black and white, leaving me empty.
I reach for the trees, but the ground is more tempting.
Chilling whispers surround me when I close my eyes,
But there is no one to hear how hard I have tried.
The sharp grains of sand lie silent on the hill,
And I paint the dirt with tears as I lose all will.
-Jackie
Please fear me like a starless night,
Trip on my hexes like a runaway.
Do what you will with my golden light,
Kill it or burn it in your hideaway.
Please beg me to stay every dawn,
Slip on your words like on black ice.
Play me like a card or a diamond pawn,
Remember me as you fall from the highs.
-Jackie
The white roses are covered in the morning mist
As you walk out the door with red rage in your fists.
I don’t know where you’re going,
Don’t know if you’ll come back,
But my heartbeat is slowing,
Healing from your attacks.
Still, I smell the pale flowers as I watch you go,
With each step that you take I breathe in more vertigo.
I don’t know where you’re going,
Don’t know if you’ll come back.
Maybe I’m tired of knowing,
Maybe I’ve lost track.
-Jackie
Her parents told her she’ll never grow old and gray.
“That’s exactly what you get from going astray.”
She learned quickly that there’s a price to pay,
Even for the little things, like another damn day.
So, she prayed to the false god and all his apostles,
She begged for the unreachable, for the colossal.
The chaos became her home as she grew hostile,
The memories of easier times became just a fossil.
Yet, her mind was so sharp it broke blood oaths.
Her tongue danced on soft necks before cutting throats.
Soon she found friends in people the others loathe,
She found music in places no one sang odes.
Time passed, and her parents forgot that she existed,
They devoted themselves to raising her sister,
And she was grateful they did, she didn’t even miss it.
Every broken, warped part in her became untwisted.
-Jackie
They tell me I float through crowds like a muse,
They say I get them high on whatever I use.
But I am living in their fantasies, fading out,
Waiting for them to notice that I got too loud.
The dresses are getting dusty in my tiny closet,
My faux pride is my only safety deposit.
The phone keeps ringing when they get lonely,
Thinking they can fix it if they finally bore me.
They swear I am the one they have been chasing,
Still, their drinks taste like misery and light lacing.
After all the lavish nights, I have only myself.
The crowds smother me, they break my spell.
The pink glitter runs off me during cold showers,
It flees my face when I am crying for hours.
But no number of tears can break my chains,
So, I wait it out, I just wait out the pain.
-Jackie
My cup is spilling dark red on innocent people,
It is overflowing as I beg for a breather.
But my legs keep spinning in these perfect circles,
Erasing my breath, erasing my purpose.
Love, I have lost my balance for half a year,
And when I bawl, I hope they overhear.
“Oh, she is chasing her catharsis, let it be,”
They say, then put sedatives in my tea.
Yet, they are not wrong, I have been looking.
My mind is dead, it is growing a new king.
He burned my kingdom with his father’s matches,
But fire, honey, it sparks, and it catches.
So, watch as I break right into his plots,
Make him someone he swore he was not.
I am chasing my catharsis, just let it be,
Just kneel in front of my grand treachery.
-Jackie
My mind is hanging in the Louvre
As pristine as the day you stole it.
I wonder if you will ever become
More than a cheap pickpocket.
You lie whenever you breathe out,
Twist truths whenever you inhale.
It took me a lifetime to find you,
And one second for you to fail.
But anger is a pulsating heart,
Always ready to die trying.
The fury I have saved for you
Has more edges than a diamond.
Your mind is hanging in the Louvre
As desperate as the day I left.
I wonder if you will ever become
Anything more than just a regret.
-Jackie
The blue light in your eyes is a gentle ocean,
And I am the anchor dragging you down.
I know it hurts to go through the notions,
But no one can stop me from leaving the town.
The changes hit me so hard, I fell apart.
I could not keep a single thing from breaking.
Yet, I wish I could have saved your heart,
Could have hidden the smiles I have been faking.
But now it is just your blue eyes and mine,
And I do not even know if you see my colors.
All I have learned is that I keep crossing lines,
Spilling my heart-shaped guilt on others.
-Jackie
The sight of me tastes sour on your lips,
And it rips open all the scars I left,
It bruises your fingertips.
Still, you cannot look away for a second.
I reckon betrayal hurts more
When delivered with a dull weapon.
My smile, it bites like a poisonous snake.
Do not fake the niceties, no.
Key my car, spit right on my cake.
The way I was never yours chokes you,
And you know it is getting close,
It is painting your face blue.
Your spite wins as usual, so you beat on,
You choose wrong, keep hurting
Until the wind becomes too strong.
Yet, the sight of me still tastes like blood,
It comes like flood, then fades,
Drowning you in the mud.
-Jackie
The only peace I know lies besides me on the cold kitchen floor,
And it shakes in silent relief each time I let go of the score.
The only voice I follow breathes gentle symphonies into my ears,
Covering my head in bright fantasies that slowly dry my tears.
The only hope I have left trembles silently in the darkest corners.
It does not know whether it belongs with the lovers or the mourners.
The only grain of patience I have for you is finally coming apart,
And you know that this time you will not make it
If I do not give you a head start.
-Jackie
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 