Tag: fiction

Nobody wants to see me tearing up

Or losing my temper in a taxi,

But you made me furious enough to do so.

I was suffocating,

But you didn’t even ask,

And I guess that’s what you think I deserved.

You were the best thing I could get,

At least that’s what you made me think

When loving you felt like I’ve lost some bet.

Nobody wants to hear me admitting it

Or losing my youth to you

But you made me smitten enough to do so.

I was breaking in two,

You said it was expected.

You couldn’t possibly believe I was such a fool.

So I burned my promise,

Then broke your ground

Until every tear you cried filled my chalice.

-Jackie

I don’t have any conflict to resolve with these words

And I don’t have a plan for forging myself a new sword.

I’ve been longing and waiting for a moment like this.

Peace within my own skin is what I’ve dearly missed.

My petty self holds no weapons up her grandiose sleeves.

If you look close enough, you won’t notice fresh schemes.

It’s been a minute or two since I’ve exhaled just air

Instead of spewing dark flames with a splash of despair.

The anger tried to wrap its hands around my fragile neck,

Taking me through some alleys that I deeply regret.

Now I don’t have any conflict to resolve in these lines,

And the scars will get paler, but only with time.

-Jackie

I was just sixteen when that fever dream started,

And I had to leave thinking that I got outsmarted.

Each time I tried to give the dream another shot,

I left wishing I could tie my whole heart in a knot.

A decade flew by, but time froze in some places.

I chased someone who could slow down my pace.

Every single soul I found made me question myself

Until I stopped renting out my mental health.

On the surface nobody even noticed the change,

Only a few saw the grey teardrops on the last page.

Perhaps it is not bad to stop seeking complexity,

All it ever did for me was kill what was meant to be.

And maybe this next story will be a better tale,

Maybe my own heart will not get broken over mail.

At least it does not feel like a fever dream today,

One small step for my younger self,

Still high on dismay.

-Jackie

It seemed like a hopeful story only as long as I loved you more than I despised you,

And you seemed like a brighter person when you listened,

But now greed and cruel intentions guide you.

Everyone you pull close keeps walking away, so you never give too much affection.

I wonder if you know that you starved me

Because you cannot even face your own reflection.

You have the time to spare for every stranger and you pretend to give true kindness

Just before you slap me with cold phrases,

Then demand I treat you like a royal highness.

I was sure your self-image was suffering greatly, but was it ever truly the case?

The control, the avoidance, the superiority…

Now I wonder about what it was that I tried to chase.

It seemed like a better movie back when I cared enough to suggest a few truces.

All you have left now is a great white silence

And a few dozen broken and bent excuses.

-Jackie