Category: Jackie’s diaries

I ran out of pleasantries to exchange for a peaceful existence,

And I have not known peace since I chose to wake my sixth sense.

People stare at me fearfully as I pass them with my daring frown.

I know they despise me for acting like I run this damned town.

Yet, their words do not matter and neither does my shaky breath.

My mind is looking for some exits, but all it finds is deep regret.

The dusty road leading back to comfort looks ever so tempting,

And I know if I give up now, the road will not have an ending.

So, I swallow the cheap niceties climbing up my sore throat.

Come hell or high water, I will persist and find a spare lifeboat.

-Jackie

What does it feel like to lose control?

Are your claws cramping under my pressure?

You once swore you could swallow me whole,

You used to call me your last treasure.

Oh, but those days are gone and so am I.

All you have left is the greyest ashes.

Go ahead and put on your suit and tie,

Close your eyes, watch the time as it passes.

And what did it take to poison this well?

I truly hope you got what you wanted.

You run around trying to break my spell,

Yet every corner of this city remains haunted.

-Jackie

The sunrays pour over your shoulders,

They cover you like a golden cloak,

And I cannot wait any longer,

Cannot wait until I make my last oath.

I have followed your path during storms,

And they could not keep me away.

People say that you are long gone,

Yet I see you as clear as day.

If the spell is truly dead and broken,

Why do I see you still holding the sky?

Wicked tongues can drip their ink,

In my memories you are still mine.

The sun has never glistened brighter,

It is almost burning my eyes alive.

If I look away, I will kill this vision,

Send my one-trick heart into overdrive.

-Jackie

These carefree days make me too destructive.

I flutter my black lashes, play it out like an actor.

My thoughts spin in the breeze like yellowing leaves.

They told me I belong, but I cannot wait to leave.

I sense them numbing my razor-sharp defenses,

Climbing into my ears and breaching the fences.

These joyous days are gnawing at my limbs.

Do I leave my flesh behind or simply stay still?

-Jackie

I stand on the grey pavement of this city I built in my head,

I am a dead woman, hanging onto my own heartbeat by a thread.

The chills your words sent through me still freeze my flesh.

You are a frostbite, you are a sedated death dressed in mesh.

Yes, I still remember the violent sentences you once mouthed.

You said I was completely alone, but my funeral was overcrowded.

I stand on this pavement, searching for a drop of pure dignity.

Is it too late for you to breathe some life back into me?

-Jackie

No, no, no, I cannot live without the electricity,

Cannot breathe without it swarming my bones.

Go, go, go and find how to kill this fantasy,

Find someone who makes me choke when I’m alone.

But it might just be my foolish bitterness

Keeping me awake like a penniless fiend.

Yes, it must be my outrageous selfishness

That burns the bridges and kills the green fields.

No, no, no, don’t you wait as I finally recover

And bask in the sunlight as others die trying.

Go, go, go and rip my story up from cover to cover.

I’ve been wondering what it feels like to be dying.

-Jackie

There are these grand chapels on my way to work,

I wish I could pinch them with my devil’s fork.

The frost is biting down and chewing the bells,

And my eyes are burning with the flames from hell.

The faces pressed against the windows scare me,

They are waiting for another night to marry.

I look straight forward and hold onto my breath,

Trying to ignore the teeth reaching for my neck.

Still, the chapel towers sing the smoothest symphonies.

I know I will get swallowed by these prophecies.

There are these grand chapels on my way to work,

I wish I could pinch them with my devil’s fork.

-Jackie