Category: Jackie’s diaries

I tell people in the streets that I’ve never seen true love,

And I wonder if I really want to say something different.

Maybe I’m just spoiled, or I’ve never cared enough?

Whatever it is, don’t you dare to call me bitter.

I’ve sprained ankles and marked my skin to feel it,

I’ve reached the depths of anguish to prove that I care.

Maybe I’m a broken record, maybe I’m past healing?

I swear it would be easier to love you on a dare.

-Jackie

Slight bruise on my neck.

You claim you have no regrets.

I spill chamomile tea,

Screaming “get away from me”.

I thought I lost my peace,

But now I sit and watch it seize,

Knowing that it was you

Who stripped me of the truth.

A faint scar on my knee.

You really love it when I bleed.

Tomorrow I’ll clean the carpet,

But you’ll be brokenhearted.

I hoped that you were done,

Now I hide and I run.

Every exit is a new trap.

My legs can’t take another lap.

“What a waste of life,

Looking for things to rhyme.”

You always hated out loud,

Said my head was in the clouds.

Good luck finding me now,

I hope silence drowns you out.

Slight bruise on my neck.

You claim you have no regrets.

-Jackie

Baby, let me take you down to my neon room.

Nothing real happens there,

Flowers die before they bloom.

Baby, let me put you into my carousel ride.

The plastic horses are cursed,

Their guts hang out from their sides.

Baby, pull me closer as the fireworks rain down.

They might set my wig ablaze,

Turn me into a cruel clown.

Baby, kiss me as we enter the end of an era.

Let the fake lights consume you,

Just give into the terror.

-Jackie

They keep asking,

Do you think she will read this?

I know she will

Because she hurt her own feelings,

And she’s walking around,

Rallying the troops.

If I shut my mouth,

I’m afraid she will shoot.

They keep saying –

Why do you even bother?

I guess she’s my problem now,

My ghoul to smother.

But do you remember last summer?

She treated me like a muse.

My head got off balance,

And my north star got confused.

So, don’t even ask,

Don’t choke out my spark.

If I keep her deals a secret,

She will kill me in the dark.

-Jackie

I don’t know how to please you or your dark cherry scent.

I waste thoughts and time on you, but I cannot pay my rent.

You spin like an angel crashing towards the depths of hell,

And your laughter rings clearer than the local church bells.

I spend my money on porn, it distracts me for a while,

But then I think about your perfume and curse out the miles.

My heartbeat loses rhythm as your lip meets your teeth.

My chest craves this flame, but I cannot bear the heat.

-Jackie

One day I’ll wed the one that I love,

And they’ll rumor about our future children,

But we’ll both know much better than that.

We’ll burn the tower they’ve all been building.

One day I’ll trust someone other than me,

And perhaps I’ll even have it in me to stay.

They’ll write poems about my lost pride,

Leaving out the damages I’ll have to repay.

One day I’ll stain your rose-colored glasses,

And you’ll still come running back to me.

We’ll exchange glances as they slash my ego,

Assign me their heartbreaks and jealousy.

One day I’ll wed the one that I love,

And they’ll rumor about our future children,

But we’ll both know much better than that.

We’ll finish the bridge that we’ve been building.

-Jackie

The reviews are now in,

But we don’t rush to read them.

We don’t trust the news

Unless someone new is bleeding.

I see how you stare at me,

Your knuckles turn white.

An old lady wrote a prophecy:

“He will kill his wife.”

Yet, I don’t mind the tension

Or the static in my lungs.

Wise minds speak of prevention,

Then go and beat their sons.

We’re just playing love

As it’s shown on silver screens.

Put away your white gloves.

Lights, cameras, action and scene.

-Jackie