It evaporated that warm August night when I waited for your call,
But it did not come through
Because whenever I picked up my wings, you dropped like an anchor and stalled.
It evaporated after you did not check in after my late-night flight.
You did not tell me a single thing,
Then went silent when I tried to beg, borrow, and pick up a fight.
It evaporated that evening I reached out to you as the last resort,
And all you did was distance yourself
When I needed a soul that could help me hold up the fort.
It evaporated that October morning I woke up not calling your name
After months upon months of screaming it,
And that morning I knew I had a shot at winning this game.
It evaporated when I told you I wanted you and not your reason,
But you turned it into a childish gag,
Breaking what was left of my pride into the smallest pieces.
It evaporates as I type out these words on this tired screen.
I do not think there is much left,
And you will not stop until the water turns into pure chlorine.
It evaporates, but only because I bled myself dry to keep it flowing.
I am older now, so I can admit it –
Sometimes I wish I had a shot at not loving,
Not knowing.
-Jackie
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 