Month: Aug 2022

They don’t drag people down like they used in my day.

They don’t count the blessings until all debts are paid.

These characters they play make me sick to the bone.

They claim they know hell, but I once called it home.

And don’t even get me started on their unused armor –

They can’t carry the weight, they can’t push any harder.

When the flames licked my skin, I used to charm demons.

They kneel to their pain, bow in front of their feelings.

They don’t dissect hope like it’s simply a plot hole,

And I twitch as their Tuesdays are making them whole.

My doubt whispers under its breath like some thief:

“They’re everything who you once wanted to be.”

-Jackie

Hunger clasps its nails around the corners of my mouth,

It drags them both together, then pulls them down south.

These wide smiles that I plaster on my lips never fade,

And some say I got bestowed upon them by cruel fate.

They seem confident that my youth wears blackout shades

While I wrote seven books of their secrets of trade.

My chest tightens as these indirect questions shoot through.

At every twist and turn I tell them something untrue.

This façade is crumbling at its sides with no one to see

Until their words paint my dark days pale ivory.

Fury traces my silhouette with bluish ashes.

One more spark, and I will pull out my finest matches.

-Jackie

Every edge, every crease, every piece of my palace,

It all stands before me as doves fill my chalice.

The translucent clouds squeeze in through my nose,

Releasing the crisp air through my neck and toes.

The light on my eyelids reflects all their glances,

But my cheeks grow too tired of faking romances.

These towers I built from the blood of my peace,

They will never sing louder than my hometown trees.

What if all of these dreams were only a story?

And what if this palace stands tall just to bore me?

With decades spilled down my fate’s ugly drain,

I shatter this palace to let in the rain.

-Jackie

This independence I have granted myself as a generous gift

Shall become a splinter in my heel even before I begin my journey.

I had the will and the fortune to avoid these frivolous grifts,

But the chord you struck with me, it broke me, and it tore me.

These days I am nothing but a vague memory of better times,

A past so free from chains and ropes it almost feels like heaven.

As I enter this grim town at midnight, carrying my ruby crimes,

I count the painless breaths but cannot manage more than seven.

-Jackie

I place bets against my luck,

Then try to prove myself a fool.

These deadly games that I keep winning,

They have foiled me like a tool.

I will always change the rhythm

Just to make a clown out of you.

My map is a stained napkin,

And I’m running out of dusty clues.

But don’t judge me harshly,

Don’t cut your chin on the fences.

I’m jester’s favorite martyr –

And my dim fate is a consequence.

I roll dice to bankrupt me,

Then try to cheat every time.

This is my last-ditch effort

To end this shallow pantomime.

-Jackie