The pendulum swings faster each week
I get further away from your poisoned creek.
My back is stiff, and head feels heavy,
The thoughts are getting too big to carry.
I cry you out like a river every night,
Hoping that I will continue the fight.
But time is a weapon in your calloused palms,
And I swore to never pick up the arms.
-Jackie
I ruffle their feathers each morning I open my eyes,
And it is getting exhausting –
Living in hell but pretending to reach for the skies.
I am suffocating, I am out of lucky tries,
And they know, yes, they know,
I am in the verge of breaking –
All they need is just one more punch to throw,
One more venomous pill worth taking.
Then I will bleed,
Ruin their carpets with my inferior breed.
So, each morning I open my eyes and take a moment.
How lucky am I to not have their greed?
-Jackie
The horses keep racing towards the steep hills,
And I shake the trees to get the latest thrills.
What a beautiful reality, what a sacred world.
Just tell me to jump and I will follow your words.
The meadows are eating me up like the sun,
I get hidden away in the grass like cheap guns.
My prayers have never choked out my voice,
But this time I am praying louder than the noise.
And the river slides down the mountain in peace,
It has been a while since I have felt such ease.
My feet playfully dangle over the jagged end.
Just say the word, I will make fate my friend.
-Jackie
Six months pass by in a blink of an eye,
Six months drag on like an eternity.
No one has to believe the tears I cry,
No one owes me a damn apology.
But you are a snake in long grass,
And I am the fire chasing you.
They swore that all my hate will pass,
They promised we have talked it through.
Still, the places where you clipped my wings
Ache whenever the moon is full,
And I have moved on to better things
As you are setting your value to null.
It has been six months, I have learned plenty,
Now it is time to burn you down.
Nobody saved me when I was twenty,
No one will care when I take your town.
-Jackie
The silence I hold in my palms beats like a ripped-out heart,
It is taking its last breaths as I pierce it with the sharpest darts.
And I break the silence like a glass on a dirty stone floor,
The coldness mixes with the clear shards as I count to four.
My breath rolls down my tongue faster than a tidal wave
Until there are no martyrs left for the nobleman to save.
I cross my heart as I shout from every rooftop of your empty city,
Wishing I could get it back without feeling their faux pity.
But I know they hear me, and soon enough I will prove it,
The silence I held will be the reason you finally face the music.
-Jackie
Someone told me years ago by a sleepy lake:
“You meet the people you are supposed to meet,
A year too early or a year too late,
Still, you feel like you have never seen a smile that sweet.”
But I chased a dream for a living for five years,
Wasted away my youth on cheap truces with the enemy.
I did not hold back a harsh word, but I held back the tears,
Hoping the sorrow did not become a part of me.
All I did was try without batting an eye,
And I did not listen even when the noose was closing.
Fate is a funny thing, I hated the knots it tied,
And how it tore me open like some old clothing.
But I ended up right here, so it must have been foresight,
Even the nights where I got it all wrong.
I was missing the signs and looking for my knights,
Complaining to every stranger about this life being too long.
Still, I ended up by your side nearby a sleepy lake,
And it felt like home more than my own heartbeat does.
Not a minute too soon, not a minute too late…
The foolishness of fate came over me like a buzz.
-Jackie
They said I was the devil when I showed them my good side,
They spread the rumors like cheap pills, spread them far and wide.
Those who once knew me did not bite down right away,
But the bitterness got to them like smoke from an ashtray.
They even called it my funeral when I tried fixing the record,
They swore they were playing chess when I was playing checkers.
Little did they all know, you cannot re-bury the long gone.
You cannot fix the tune in post if you got all the chords wrong.
So, they said I was a lost cause until I became their peril,
And they learned that there are things far scarier than the devil.
Those who never knew me only spoke my name as a whisper,
And all those who were buried with me became my sisters.
-Jackie
It is almost like I am watching from the sidelines,
Observing the anatomy of my own downfall.
They throw their coins at me, drown me in dimes,
Put poisoned needles right through my eyeballs.
And I just let them release their putrid anger.
I have run for too long, I have carried this well.
Now the stories of my life will turn into ambers
As my legacy will unleash its holy hell.
-Jackie
The pendant on my neck is too heavy to carry,
It is slowly stealing my shaky breath away.
Its silver holds all the stories I need to bury,
All the overdue debts that I must finally pay.
But the path ahead is muddy so I must hurry.
The wolves are after the scent of the impure.
The setting sun makes my aching eyes worry –
I am running out of light, and there is no cure.
Once seven stars rise, they will kill my story,
Ripping me into simple letters and spaces.
Until that hour comes, I must carry this for thee,
I must carry the cross until I lose my pace.
-Jackie
I swear I’ve seen the painting, he’s Dorian Gray,
But he’s also a menace molded from the cheapest clay.
There’s a splash of light right behind his pupil,
So beautiful it hurts, so bright it can’t be human.
And his hair falls right back into place each morning.
I can’t tell if I’m cursing him or simply adoring.
My head spins in circles as he untwists my tongue
And says a line or two about hoping to stay young.
I swear I’ve seen the painting, he’s Dorian Gray,
But he’s also the green light in Fitzgerald’s play.
Or was it a novel, an opera, a song?
Maybe he’s just a faux narrative we all got wrong?
The taste of deadly nightshade wraps my senses.
He must be an angel with the best kind of defenses.
There’s a splash of pitch black on his roaring chest,
So frighteningly dark my blood becomes blessed.
As I slip away, he looks right through me,
Coldly acting like someone who truly knew me.
I swear I’ve seen the painting, he’s Dorian Gray,
But he’s also a menace molded from the cheapest clay.
-Jackie
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 