Did I have the slightest chance of saving myself that August evening?
Some insist these invisible bruises don’t need any healing.
I’ve buried the shame deep in my cupboard, but you know what they say –
The sinner breaks the rose-colored glasses, and the victim always pays.
And lately I’ve been thinking about people I can never forgive,
I just count down all the ghouls and scars which I won’t outlive.
Your name sits on the top of the list like a bloody throne.
My god, what I would give to ensure your breath leaves me alone.
I would cut off the parts you touched without any hesitation…
But it would exculpate you, so I kill the burning temptation.
As long as I live, I carry your cross on my back like a target.
My wrath is ablaze, it has the sting of a threatened hornet.
But you act unbothered, so sometimes I drink the poison myself.
They told me loud and clear – I shouldn’t have lifted you off the shelf.
And now my name is entangled with yours, no way to erase it.
Can’t help but despise my younger self, and how she never faced this.
My every decision leads back to that cursed August night.
I wonder if anything would’ve been different if I put up a fight.
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 