Day: Sep 24, 2021

The loop is tightening around my neck every time someone mentions your name.

Seven stages of grief repeating in my head, seven stages that I never overcame.

So, I keep lying to the ones who care – I think it is half the work, I think they buy it.

The loop digs into my skin, severing arteries, and my thoughts start another riot.

Not to sink in lifelong clichés, but I must admit I knew since the time I met you.

Your eyes felt like glass on my exposed skin, they were so cold I turned blue.

Every single minute in your presence I felt your control slipping out of the way.

My perfume got stuck in your head for hours, then it lingered for another day,

Until you got me alone and chose to cross the boundaries like wild rivers.

It has been a month or so, I cannot think about that evening without dire shivers.

You took the one moment I shined and soiled it, you could not have chosen better,

Because now I cannot help but refuse all good things as they taste too bitter.

The loop you tied around my neck almost took my spine one too many times.

It is funny – how men like you get a chance to never think about their crimes.

So, I keep lying to myself, pretending that the truth is bendable to your winds.

The loop feels like a noose sometimes, and I am not sure if I can win.

But at least I have some hope,

The same cannot be said about your sins.

-JW