Tag: writer

All my beige dresses have specks of brain matter on them.

All my thoughts are scattered, waiting for the sword to drop.

Have I bludgeoned the last good man this chilly evening?

Will they watch as I self-destruct or make me come to a stop?

I am taking my path down some alleys I cannot even mention,

And the dogs are after my scent, but soon they will tire.

The river washes away the scarlet crimes while I act somber.

One day they will finally see that I am no gun for hire.

-Jackie

Tell me how I’m always playing nice

Or how you think about me in your sleep.

When you check your door, you always check twice

Because my will was never yours to keep.

For now, rest your soul and do not worry,

Do not close that window late at night.

You had a backpack full of sorrys,

And the weight of them almost broke my might.

Tell me how I crave their bleeding attention,

How your nightmares paint me as the villain.

I was just an honorable mention,

And the high I gave you wasn’t thrilling.

Why did you butcher my reality?

When did you notice that I’ve fallen for the trick?

You got me prosecuted based on a fallacy.

If they knew, your grin would make them sick.

-Jackie

If these streets can’t keep my secrets,

Do I even have a friend who will?

I’m staring into these lit up windows,

Begging for my mind to remain still.

Happiness haunts me through the nights,

So I walk the streets in silence.

I pretend that nobody can see me

As the tears drop like shattered diamonds.

-Jackie

Take me in like a scene from a movie

Where the hero gets lost in a rainy city.

Rub me off like the cheapest perfume,

But I’ll still linger, and you’ll still miss me.

Make plans and undo your past mistakes.

Wait for the knot in your stomach to die.

I might not be the one you’re looking for,

Still, I’ll be your friend and your alibi.

-Jackie

I keep buying bigger closets,

Hoping they will hide my skeletons,

But the bones moan at midnight

And my thoughts turn irrelevant.

Some pasts haunt, some destroy,

Mine craves putrid revenge.

I move houses and cities,

Then kill off all of my friends.

I wish that I could help it,

But my sweet innocence fails me.

Blood and gore call me a sister

While my values stay hazy.

I keep burying sharp daggers,

Hoping I can grow and change.

I put on long pastel dresses

And my reflection seems strange.

Some lives give, some lives take,

Mine burns continents and skylines.

One day I will get to rest,

But maybe not in this lifetime.

-Jackie

When I needed a friend,

You prepared hooks and scythes.

You pushed me away,

Slapped me with your strong might.

When I needed a partner,

You assigned me your crimes

And took off in a taxi

With the sound of windchimes.

When I needed a shoulder,

Yours was always freezing.

Frostbites felt like kisses

And insults felt like teasing.

When I needed a hope,

You dug two graves in the ground,

Told me to stay still,

Then released the hounds.

-Jackie

The fog lifts its pale cloak and I sneak right in.

I walk the graveyard of people who made me sin.

The white candles try to pass their flames to me,

But I no longer want to make rage my legacy.

My feet slide by dark nocturnal romances

And the lovers I’ve lost by refusing slow dances.

The church in the distance plays a wanderer’s song.

I pray to the devil I’ll never get the words wrong.

I see a neat little grave where I buried my fangs,

Thinking being righteous won’t slaughter any lambs.

The messy hole in the ground escapes my vision.

We both know I’m no good with superstition.

There’s a well that I used for screaming curses,

The black water soaked up every line in cursive.

I know that the sun won’t rise over me,

But once you start digging graves, you’re never free.

The fog lifts its pale cloak and I sneak right in.

I walk the graveyard of people who made me sin.

-Jackie

You can try to numb me with static,

Go silent for a month and return with an oasis

Or light a flame within me that tastes like panic,

But I’m too old to get stuck on your phrases.

You go through phases, and I’ve seen enough.

When you look at the harm, do you feel ashamed?

You wanted to see if my core was tough,

If my lavish tongue can finally be tamed.

It doesn’t matter now because I hold the key

And you can no longer see over the fence.

You left a bad taste in my mouth on day three,

Drop your spineless attempts to call me a friend.

You can try to enrage me with a new paramour,

Blast your passion so loud that I lose my target.

But I’m too old to return for more.

You killed my youth,

Don’t try to outsmart it.

-Jackie

Your wary gaze hits my skin like the first September rain,

And I try to dry off between kisses and lip stains.

Your silences nick my freezing skin until it’s peeling.

I have grown wiser, but not enough to stop the bleeding.

My face is a door covered in some cracking paint.

It depends on the onlooker whether I’m a fresh saint.

Still, your touch shoots through me like an absolution,

And I try to sit still, but my head reaches for conclusions.

Do I deserve your answers, or should I reject your words?

You bury me in daisies when others offer me swords.

Should I let you catapult me in the sky in full force?

Are you just a fail-safe or are your palms some trapdoors?

-Jackie

The last scraps of us get discarded from my aching head,

And all the thoughts that once mattered evict themselves.

I was holding onto hope like some mythical thread,

But it is time to find more wonder in somebody else.

The throbbing anger washed away the moment I let you lose.

Now I know your name, but I barely know the man.

Not sure if you are hurting or drafting us a new truce,

Not sure if I will waste a moment sipping on your plans.

The first snow covers up the muddy footprints you left,

And soon enough the tale of you will erase itself.

One more year and I will no longer mourn this like a death.

Your memory will be a dusty statue on a shelf.

-Jackie