In The Dark

Photo by Alexey Demidov

The soft light inside of me keeps expanding,

Leaving warm shadows on your skin.

What if the flame becomes too demanding?

What if I lick the poison from the rim?

The fear breathes snowflakes on my neck,

But I hope my glow will leave a mark.

Have I found my fate or just another wreck?

What if this affair leaves me in the dark?

-Jackie

The Haunting

Photo by Malcolm Hill

My scent sticks to their skin, their hair, their gums,

And they peel me off their bodies like bubblegum.

I follow them around like some Victorian ghost

Looking for a pale victim or a willing host.

I count their blessings like the rarest of coins,

But I do not carry jealousy in my faint joints.

The whites of my eyes observe and consume.

They are onto you, love, do not leave your room.

-Jackie

Wasted

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

I take three quick breaths but only one is mine.

This stolen time keeps leaving marks on my ribs.

The reality has nothing to do with the divine –

Rosy suffering and pain are crying in their cribs.

I do not know when the wheel started turning,

But I need to stop it before I lose my mind.

Priests will watch the hunt, watch the burning,

Then go home and call my rage unkind.

I take three quick steps but two are borrowed,

And I might collapse if I take just one more.

My happiness has nothing to do with tomorrows,

But I cannot stop myself from keeping the score.

-Jackie

Grave Mistakes

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

Grave mistakes never dig their own holes in the ground,

Great loves always lose themselves when they get found.

I bury the grey bodies of those who fell for mine,

But yours is still out there, silent like a true mime.

Every blink of an eye shoots through me like centuries.

No one knows what happened, only what is meant to be.

Grave mistakes never find themselves at ancient cemeteries,

Great loves always stumble on the simplest of fallacies.

Every single love I had rots in my petty graveyard

While I wait for you to send me a threat or a postcard.

And you even might be the one that got away for good.

Still, I chase closure like peace is hidden in your “coulds”.

-Jackie

Snow Globe

Photo by Akshay Nayak

I am in the center of a snow globe

Freezing to death,

Trying to catch a breath,

But there is nothing here besides plastic snow.

I twirl and bow to warm up

As static fills my lungs,

And even though I feel young,

My bones are made of concrete blocks.

-Jackie

Five Words

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

Your sentences rotate like your tongue is a revolving door.

I can lip-synch the next phrase if you give me the chance.

The same five words spill out of you when I beg for more,

And I am not sure if this is a nightmare or a trance.

Yet you call it romance.

Delays, silence, and automated replies…

But I am too paralyzed to put weight on your lies.

Your worries levitate somewhere above my head like birds,

And I do wish I could be heard, but the screams make me weak.

We are cutting open our love, cutting it into bloody thirds.

You told your friends I cannot leave you for a week,

Then wondered when my smile was bleak.

The silence is now all yours.

Go and beg the gods on all fours.

-Jackie

Bees

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

I inhale betrayal just to sedate them.

They look for order, but I am a mayhem.

My head hurts and my bones go brittle.

I chase high emotions, but I feel so little.

There is no reason to die for desire.

Destiny kills even the greatest fires.

I exhale honesty like a swarm of bees,

And they sting everyone my eyes can see.

-Jackie

My Flesh Wants To Leave Me

Photo by analogue enjoyer

My stomach keeps finding new reasons to sink

And spread that feeling through my veins in pure fury.

I watch people too closely, forgetting to blink.

Often I wish I could gift my own body a new me.

But that is a hope I can kill like the others.

I forget who I am and how to breathe solid air.

My mind runs on visions about sisters and brothers,

But my body does not have a new heartbeat to spare.

I feel sorry, but I think that does not matter

Because even the strongest lose the will to forgive.

My flesh wants to leave me bruised and battered.

It is too tired to survive,

It just wants to live.

-Jackie

Soft Spot

Photo by Suzy Hazelwood

Back in my hometown they still tell these tales,

They say I bite off heads, then bite off tails.

Maybe they are not that far off with that rumor,

But it has been a while since I got their humor.

It has been a minute since I lost the heavy shield

Or told someone how I hate to bleed and feel.

Should I blame my nature or nurture for this?

Is there a way out of the corner of an abyss?

I hide the soft spot in my chest as they observe,

Hoping they find my sadness well-deserved.

As long as they talk, this feeling stays mine,

It stays between you, me and the passage of time.

-Jackie

Don’t

Photo by Q. Hưng Phạm

Don’t erase my footsteps in the sand,

Don’t enrage the armies of my land.

My troops play with skulls of the guilty.

They will play with yours if you kill me.

Don’t smother me with borrowed shame,

Don’t soften the rules of this crooked game.

My enemies will cast the first stone,

But they will kill you when you feel alone.

-Jackie