Building oceans out of used duct tape rolls,
Hiding the motions while it’s taking a toll –
The chemistry’s fake and we’re caught blinded.
Five years ago I thought we’re like-minded.
But people change morals and wind changes heart.
I chose to go silent and you chose to go dark.
Won’t call you arch nemesis or even a stranger,
Yet the money I put on you –
I’d never again repeat that wager.
-JW
The way you look at lips gets me suspicious but, I promise, I won’t judge
When you’re on the porch, asking for my forgiveness as your wife still holds a grudge.
I assume you didn’t tell the tale in its entirety either.
Only some bits. Only some pieces. You were never a bleeder,
Always the one leaving scratchless, without a wound to your honor.
The second sharp words are thrown, oh baby, you’re a goner.
Your face could heal a hundred scars if you didn’t sell it out to every fool
Who feeds on broken hearts. But I’m not surprised when you’re a tool
To all of them – who can play it cool. They know better, they don’t just drool
Over their cheap glass promises – that are also deemed as priceless.
What happened? Why did you leave broke and diceless?
I’m a daydream turning into a nightmare right before your eyes
Wish I could give you a warning about how being a jerk might hurt a bit.
Sorry, I didn’t leave a light on for you – but not like you’re not used to taking a hit.
Sorry, I can’t hide you from the tentacles of truth anymore. I don’t want to.
Hope there’s someone else buying into your auctions, and your cheap ass tattoo.
Don’t take it wrong – my apologies mean nothing, and I learned it from you trying
To pull a truth out of a magician’s hat filled with dead rabbits and your fake crying.
-JW
They’re building a casino on the corner we first met.
What a cliché – greed replacing our spot for watching the sun set.
The shop where I bought you socks is closing down,
Maybe it’s too late to ask whether you frown
Before putting them on and going your separate way in our streets –
The town we once walked together is changing, no longer fitting our needs.
The café I told you the truth burned down a week ago, last Tuesday,
And without it the square resembles the doomsday
But only a tiny bit. The rest is plastic and still looks fine.
I’d assume you could still find a nice place there to take her and dine.
Ah, the reality bites harshly, yet the imagination tortures my pride –
What the hell happened? Why did I run? Why did you hide?
It’s not fair of me to put our past ahead of the future you’re planning.
However, I can’t rest in peace with all the verities you’re banning
From your new found realities. These past years have done enough damage –
Of course, would be ironic if we for once decided to salvage
Something that’s sacred and close. Can we even manage?
Loving you still is such a disadvantage.
Ravage. Baggage.
Nothing good ever comes out of two vanished souls trying to escape, to banish
Until we tarnish
When all we really needed was a bandage.
-JW
It’s been eighteen months since I’ve touched a scale to deal with the itch.
For full seventeen months I haven’t been called a righteous bitch.
Weighing myself is still a daily task for me though, don’t be blinded,
The things I get done feel like nothing and I start getting winded.
The constant rush to be leading is leaving me shattered in the evenings
But now the broken mirrors won’t really reflect what I’m eating.
There are pros and cons for having a hunger, and that’s a fact.
No matter the hunger, at the end of the day you feel like you’ve signed a pact.
Some mornings my life’s hanging on a string by the arête
As they’re stealing my ideas, copyrighted with blood on the concrete.
Some nightmares wake me quicker than seeing my bile in the drain
And I keep reminding myself that the self-pity has died in vain.
I have changed. It is not the same.
***
It’s been one billion little lies later. My brain has gone quiet.
I’m not wanting to diet but it’s not a riot.
I’m ready to pave a way, striate.
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 