Pure cherry kisses lost between the winds.
We hide the red in our cheeks
And blood on our chins.
But the sun won’t raise again if we stay,
If we silently wait for our shins
To get stuck in the clay.
So your eyes well up with muddy waters,
My chest is full of sharp pins
As I’m cursing the fathers.
And then we’re torn apart by the sinking sand.
Still – we know that it’s better
Than laying down roots in this land.
-JW
The silver in your hair fades with the dawn like ghoulish memories.
I wanted you to save the world but now wars are my legacy –
And you never mentioned how you love parting the seven seas
Only when the crowds are cheering, only when they’re here to see.
I gave all my days away to labor for your bleached love,
You cheered for my naivety because it fit you like a glove.
Now our bedroom walls are crusty with the guts you spilled for me
And I’m left with broken wings still screaming “you would kill for me”.
But it’s almost dawn so your tricks grow translucent yet again.
I thought you’d be my enemy but now they brand you as my friend.
So pack your things and walk the merry way you took to chase me down.
The silver in your hair was just another crooked paper crown.
-JW
I guess I’ll just burn in my own mind’s oven
Or throw out my resume and build a new coven.
The thirteen of us will meet in the fields
Where strong people rise and weak men yield.
I guess you’ll just watch me take back what’s mine,
Not a word will object this, only deep sighs.
Once the flames start climbing high over our heads,
I’ll give you a minute to make the amends.
But I guess we’re just never going to fix it,
Go drink all the betrayal, you’re the one who mixed it.
This one time I won’t burn for your petty pledges,
Pick up the shreds, don’t cut the claws on the edges.
And I guess I’ll just stand as the rest of them bow,
You said it’s not the right moment – but the time is now.
It’s your time to take the heat as an atonement,
And you can keep calling me a dirty witch but, honey,
Soon they’ll see you’re only a showman.
-JW
I threw my shame from the top of a mountain,
I drowned it in bottles and endless fountains,
And I even abandoned my home to lose it
But there’s no better medicine than facing the music.
I tripped over ledges in some haunted woods,
Lost myself in shine and Old Hollywood.
The shame kept crawling up my trembling spine
And the world laughed like I wasn’t worth a dime.
However, I knew better than letting it consume me,
Than running once again and inventing a new me.
I stopped in my tracks until it chased me down
And for a moment it was my time to drown.
But I can forgive scars that lead me to victory,
The stories of the vanquished don’t go down in history.
So once more I throw my shame from steepest hill –
This one on one battle will end with a kill.
-JW
Can’t help but wonder again – how many more
Pounds of flesh do I have to give away for free
To meet the norm?
And there’s nothing normal about this –
Shattering at 6 AM on a Monday morning,
Closing in on the dark abyss.
The pressure gets heavier each afternoon
So I stay inside to pity myself,
To curse at the moon.
But it reflects my chants like sunrays –
And there’s no way it ever gets better
If I stay.
There’s no way this story has a good ending
If all I grow to know
Is silence and pretending.
When my lips are shut, they grow stronger
On the power I gathered myself –
Until I can’t go on much longer.
Can I even go on from here, can I move?
Their tentacles strangle me
But what do I have to prove?
So I swallow the bitterness and resign the “sorry”s.
I don’t need a tougher skin,
I need to extract myself from your stories.
You can tell your greedy mirror image
To bear one more storm.
My part in this narrative is finished,
Recall your swarm.
-JW
Nothing lonelier on this planet than the idea of you
I abandoned in the wasteland so many moons ago.
Nothing harsher than what I said after thinking through:
“If one of us leaves, the broken one will still be you.”
But you kept swaying your fists at me in full speed,
Crashing porcelain promises, covering all the leads.
My back can take far worse, you can’t make me bleed.
Even with all the force, you can’t outrun my breed.
And you can no longer walk over me like you used to
When your spell was the only curse I would lose to.
Gather your tales and go tell someone else I used you.
There will come a time you will accept
You’re defused, too.
-JW
I pave the pale moonlight with my lightest shoes,
Bruises on my neck as if you needed more proof
That where I come from is a land of temptation
But it has nothing to do with my destination.
The chimneys cry charcoal mascara tears,
Smeared across their cheeks by well-meaning peers.
The dusty air holds the start of another story
I’ll make up while these empty roads bore me.
And the dark parts of my mind sting like darts,
Hard to point them away from the wounded parts.
My joints tell me to look back once more
But I know I’ll get enchanted by all the gore.
I just pave the night, I keep braving the night
As sister moon mirrors rays so I stay in light.
Once the sun sweats over the evergreen trees,
The lures behind my back wail like banshees.
-JW
Wish I could cut you off like my own tangled hair,
Wash you out of my blood with one bright flare.
But even the color yellow reminds me of you
As I search the streets for someone new.
My lucky star has long given up on my heart.
You could burst it open with one well-aimed dart.
And I still think your touch was that much different –
Yet all it did was make me weaker and sicker.
I’m not a sticker that would hold as you please,
You owe it to me – let my pride die in peace.
But your head has long branded me as worthless
So I pray to the gods
That I never worshiped.
-JW
The little rainclouds are growing into a thunderstorm.
Right under the place we last fell apart
The ground is burning, nice and warm.
No one knows the lengths I’d go to dissolve you again.
No one knows the shame I carry around
In the ink of my pen.
But I’d rebuild silver cities if it meant I could be free.
I’d paint the sky navy blue if it meant
That I could finally sleep.
And my arms would lift mountains just to clear the dust
Which you brought into my view with pain,
Masked as a fiery lust.
Yet – I know well that your footprints cannot be erased.
No matter how hard I swing,
They keep showing up in a new place.
This shame might linger for too many eternities to count.
And even my spite might not be enough
To beat the next goddamn round.
-JW
And once again I pick on myself until I bleed,
Rashes behind my ears let the demons feed.
The red trickling down my back is too warm.
I’m done voiding myself to save others from harm.
Though the heart drums beat dangerously loud
I manage to raise my voice over these crowds.
They turn their heads to catch a brief glimpse
Of this pulled apart soul, covered in safety pins.
For a moment they listen as I raise my hands,
They see my anger trickling into the sand.
With roaring applause their faces turn to dust,
I bow to myself in the mirror, covered in rust.
And maybe you weren’t right when you said
“These ghosts will only cheer over your deathbed.”
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 