Self-Destruction

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I thought I could freeze the sadness out of me,

I thought I could caffeinate it out or paint it over with glee.

I wished once I stopped shaking, I’d be free

But no amount of distraction could part the stormy sea.

I left the window open until my skin felt static.

I wished you could guide my senses, fussy and erratic,

And I truly hoped the enormous heavy feeling inside would slip under,

Almost like dying peacefully, almost like beating a thunder.

Just like other memories they’d drift away into a dream,

Yet we’re too gentle to open the void, too gentle to ever grow mean.

So I drift off to sleep in the freezing room one more time.

The night pours saltwater in my aching bruises,

It burns like lime.

-JW

Thirteen Cold Cases And Other Tales: Prologue

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A rural area in the middle of Who-Gives-A-Damn is shocked

As thirteen people go missing within a bone chilling quarter.

The closet doors are blocked, the guts never seem to rot.

The locals would leave the county if they were any smarter.

The cold cases pile up on the table, almost tipping over.

Everyone puts on a mask of care, everyone knew a goner,

And people are faking sympathy for each unlucky rover…

Funny how only among the hunters they fear so much

There remains some honor.

A rural area in the middle of Nowhere & Never is enraged

After police discovers a mass grave in an abandoned house.

The place belonged to a woman using alias Fiona K. Sage.

In the grave they discovered her missing neighbor’s blouse.

The cold cases come crashing down, only fools keep looking.

Years pass, the locals turn faked grief into greedy ghost stories.

Tourists pour over the area, they fight to make a booking,

While the three hunters carry on snatching visitors

Without any worries.

-JW

#13 The Man In Red

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They keep telling me she’s gone, they keep messing with my head.

They want me to cry but I stay overly rowdy and sinister instead.

The gruesome crew I’ve been hunting with asks for revenge –

We keep discovering clues, we keep losing our leads to the stench.

We hear she’s been seen with a man in red in these streets.

That’s not enough to prosecute but he’ll speak if he bleeds.

Once the clock strikes seven PM we emerge from the masks.

No one in this town crosses our way once it’s finally dusk.

Not many people out at this hour, not many challenge their faith.

The huntress walks the southside alone acting as our bait.

I stay back lying in wait, scanning figures and dancing shadows.

Green-eyes is in her Cadillac, she reads the scene like cheap prose.

The fourth night arrives through coffee, nicotine and energy drinks.

The breezy weather shakes my senses, the hopelessness stings.

Despite the drowsiness, we hear a door swinging open close by.

A muffled sound, a kick, sheen of a car and an audible sigh.

We close in on the target – red coat, a lean figure and slight limp.

Tied up by his side is my sacred lamb, she’s not noticing a thing.

The others beg me to wait but I race forward like a starving beast.

Not a man in red – that goddamn woman I thought was deceased!

Oh Lizzy, Lizzy, how you’ve once again wronged me to death.

You told me I should try harder this time

While losing your breath.

-JW

#11 The Lonely Bones

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Dig, cut, wrap, clean, repeat. Another hole, another dead seed.

We’re hiding truths like normal people do, we plant what we need.

Dig, cut, wrap, clean, repeat. Push harder to cut off the feet.

Bury, smoothen, cover. Another body, another dead lover.

We’re escaping the destiny by hiding all that’s discovered.

Bury, smoothen, cover. We killed you and we killed your brother.

Sharpen, crush, growl some more. Another bruise, some shiny gore.

We’re tied in our count but who’s keeping a score?

Sharpen, crush, growl some more. Go faster to win the war.

Drink, celebrate, rest, cheer. Another pit of lonely bones sealed.

We’re gnarly inside and out, we’re the burnable breed.

Drink, celebrate, rest, cheer. Another pint to the terror we wield.

-JW

#5 The Sacred Lamb

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An expanding knot in my stomach before I even open the front door –

I sense the tension, the held back cries, the hope shattered on our floors.

My weak limbs pull themselves over the doorstep, I’m covered in dirt.

Yesterday three of my closest friends went missing, no one’s yet heard.

I’ve got an alibi three towns south, but did the escapee break the news?

That girl Vicky’s yet to apologize for the friction and pay what’s due.

But the look on my father’s face is more than pity or any other sadness –

Shatters of his very heart lay all over our place, growing in their vastness.

My brother’s there too, he holds me for far too long before I realize

My younger sister’s missing…

No amount of tears can suffice.

Taken, she’s been taken, someone took her. That’s all I really hear.

I hope this someone has the guts to face my painful fury, oh dear.

My feet take me out of the house, all across the putrid hometown.

I’ve heard of this gracious green-eyed beast making her rounds.

The lady’s deadlier than I’ll ever be but what’s the point of my pride?

The plain street I walk down has one eccentric house – I’m down for the ride.

Her seven inch heels click on the surfaces before she lets me in –

Beautiful, eloquent, well-reversed and funny, clearly deadly as sin.

While I don’t mind the corpses in her garden, she doesn’t mind my intrusion.

There’s common sense even between the worst of ghouls with no illusions.

We strike a deal as her fairy-tale clock strikes three in the afternoon.

I promise to give her a hand with her garden,

She promises to become one of my goons.

-JW

#9 The Gathering Of The Ghouls

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My anger pours out of every stitch as I slam my wine glass on the table.

No amount of cursing will scratch the itch firing through my bugged cables.

The wiring’s off, throw out the plans and gather around this failed attempt.

Two people have escaped our rightful anger, nobody else can be exempt.

The huntress puts stainless steel blades in her belt, her caution is paper thin.

The green-eyed bitch of the rural streets perfectly applies her own skin.

I watch in terror as my own image disappears and reappears in reflections.

We’re ready to comb the town and kill everyone daring to walk our direction.

I shrug and rest my palm on the cold gun besides the shattered wine glass.

Can’t hide it as more and more questions near me through the grass.

The bottle’s done and my team of revolting human waste looks right at me.

They know as well as I do – we must kill the witness to finally be happy.

What comes next is pre-written: we slash each other’s throats for hours

Until only one claims this shabby town the three of us have called ours.

As the night swallows our bodies within its charcoal veils, my back straightens.

The one who fled escaped painless grave, but she can’t escape the Satan.

-JW

#3 The Meeting

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She escaped a gruesome death and a poisoning attempt, she escaped.

Somehow despite all the odds and favors I called in, she escaped.

They ushered me away as she jumped right in front of moving cars.

My limp pride carried itself out of the scene under the sparkly stars.

We finished the job but the high of the deed never rushed my system.

She ran away even though she was the least weary and persistent.

The time is not our friend at this point, we cut right through the forest.

Pearly moon is lightning the path, the sight is nothing but modest,

And the peace doesn’t last long, there are steps behind us closing in.

My patience is on the edge, and the edge is far less than paper thin.

I turn and pull out a gun, unable to let another foolish witness slide.

The darkness behind me is blinding, the night tastes like anthracite,

Yet I know a creeper when I hear one so I march towards the sound,

Trigger finger ready to swim in the ecstasy of firing the round.

There’s a blade in my face held by a stranger, my barrel’s aimed at her.

What a standoff – the moon is making the hesitation more severe.

The seconds tick away but we don’t move a muscle in our faces.

How do I tell her “we have a common goal, let’s slow our paces”?

Somehow she reads my distasteful thoughts, the knife is removed.

As she offers me her palm saying:

“No need to harm a fellow hunter, my name’s Ramone.”

-JW

#4 The Note On Her Doorstep

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I will build a chantry and your remains will serve as the central piece

Or, even better, I will immure you in the stone cold walls.

May you die in peace.

I will burn an old church and build an amusement park in its place.

We will ride in the Ferris wheel leaping towards your death.

Hope it picks up the pace.

I will sacrifice your toes on the altar and there will not be a motive.

If you scream, I will tie you down on the tracks

Wishing for a locomotive.

I will plant a forest and let you loose once it is thick enough to scare you,

And I will want to hold your hand but that does not mean

That I will spare you.

I will deliver a blow to your head while you read this obscure message

Or, even better, I will drag you by the hair to the graveyard.

Feel free to discount your blessings.

-JW

#8 The Splash Zone

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Don’t stand in the splash zone, don’t stump on my happy place.

The shoes you’re wearing are leaving marks

But we wouldn’t want to leave a trace.

Be careful around the edges, make sure your raincoat’s tight enough

If you stand too close, you might get chopped.

But if you leave, take blades and cuffs.

Stop! One more step and you might take a fall into the slash zone.

Nota bene: keep DNA on the body who owns it,

No foolproof plan is accident prone.

When you cut the throat, let it only mark the plastic wallpapers.

Your clothes should never be stained with the goo,

Your face shouldn’t be in tomorrow’s papers.

As you’re gouging the eyeballs, move in from the back and slice –

Don’t make it messy, don’t try to prove a point.

The feeling fades but an alibi’s nice.

And don’t stand in the splash zone, don’t give up our happy place.

Take the bags and the buckets, help me out.

We wouldn’t want to leave a trace.

-JW

#6 The Victim

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Running until my knees become softer than melting snow,

Running until my thighs burn and can’t carry the weight.

Trying to escape your furious words, nostrils soaked in blow.

Trying to run up that hill and maybe I can if I keep my faith.

Sneaking around muddy patches, drowning my sneakers until they flood.

Sneaking around rotten animal corpses, keeping it slow and on the hush.

Dangling over the edge of the bridge, crashing in the river with a thud.

Dangling out your car… I don’t recall what happened, my head’s a mush.

Pulling on the ropes, trying to spit out the piece of cloth.

Pulling on the cuffs but my arms are too weak to break the hold.

Choking on tears, they’re filling my nose and open lips as I pray to god.

Choking on smoky gasoline in a burning car left in the wolds.

-JW