The time runs by,
And I can hear myself ticking.
It is this broken clock within,
It is this faded clipping
That tells me smudged lies
And calls peace a compromise.
But I am running low in ink,
Graphite will not suffice.
Minutes pass in a blink.
I am losing the disguise,
Crouched over the kitchen sink,
Pulling out my own eyes.
And the time runs by,
I can hear myself clicking.
My hourglass cracks into two,
My memories start slipping.
-JW
Your voice felt like ice water on my warm skin on a summer day.
As you were approaching me, they warned you –
But you still found a way.
Your words untangled my worries, they soothed the burns and aches.
I kept on wondering whether you made it in time
Or was it way too late.
Your scent wrapped around us like an ungodly string, indestructible…
Little did I know back then –
Even promises can turn cold and corruptible.
Your eyes gave me shelter but the winds were still way too biting.
My fingers held onto your cheeks for hours.
Still, you let them take me without fighting.
-JW
Once again, I am burning alive between two gospels and a lie.
Your eyes tell me adventures I wish I were naïve enough to try.
The heat engulfs my left lung when you ask if I am ready.
To spite my consciousness, I drop into the flames, hot and heady.
I heard they used to call you unsteady, what a loud falsity.
They probably confuse every fire with misunderstood honesty.
And my palms shiver as I reach out but the heat is shaking too –
Cannot help but wonder if you ever knew
How I incinerated for you.
-JW
The cold water never truly invigorates me.
I keep comparing everyone else to you.
After a month they get tired of my company.
But, baby, believe me – I do too.
Somehow it is always your opinion
That stays much closer to the truth.
I counted your mistakes and got to a million.
I still miss the way you played a brute.
But even though the hope is fading,
My head is still under the water, so frozen.
They said my lips were not for waiting,
They called my heart an endless ocean.
Somehow you knew it was a lie.
Still, you watched as my face turned blue.
The cold water never got me high.
But, baby, believe me – never did you.
-JW
I cannot help but wonder – what if I let myself fall?
What if I lost my pride and answered the call?
Not like it matters at all
When I am ten feet tall.
I am just wondering – what could have happened
If I never stalled?
Now I can only imagine our lives overlapping
Until they become a single figure.
Will the timeline keep snapping?
Will it break us in half, will my part be bigger?
I cannot help myself, the thrown away shots keep flashing…
Is it you behind the trigger?
Or is it my imagination begging for the thunder to stop crashing?
-JW
The kitchen sink is leaking for the third day in a row.
I keep re-watching the tragedy unfold,
Sitting in the first row.
My bedsheets trap me in chain-like embrace.
I cannot leave, no.
The night has lost its honest face.
There is no one to call, no one to answer the cries.
Reality seems so fragile,
It is only hardened by lies.
And the windowsill speaks my mother tongue.
What a shame – burning so bright
To burn out so young.
-JW
Just watch as they paint us
In charcoal and jet.
The rain will not save us
From yesterday’s regrets.
And they will not stay here
As the fields overfloat,
As we drown in the dark fear
With water in our throats.
But let them look away,
Let them say we deserve this.
Today is the day
When we break the surface.
Sometimes pressure is a gun,
Unloaded yet dismal.
Just watch them all run
Away from the drizzle.
-JW
Wait for me as the sea retreats,
Watch as it slips back into its seat
And waves when I disappear.
My home’s deep under the surface,
Where only the water circles.
It strangles my circuits.
Do not turn off the light beneath.
The abyss needs to feed,
It is looking up at your feet.
Never trust the darkness below
As it lurks, wanting you to slow.
And wait for me as the sea retreats,
Breathe out once more,
Then follow me into the heat.
-JW
Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?
I am still undecided, unsure about which truth I should believe.
We both stick to our own guns only trusting what we can perceive.
Maybe the time is finally right to take a moment and breathe.
But all I know for now is that you are walking down my street.
The front door keeps my secret covered as the moonlight bleeds.
Not sure if you will pass me by or come and take what you need.
Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?
I keep looking for answers like a dog chasing autumn leaves.
Some stare in disbelief but I know they have long called us thieves.
Maybe the time is finally right to sit down and grieve
The love we lost between darkening sky, between crooked front teeth.
I look back and wonder how the paradise went unnoticed under our feet.
We danced around in lavender silk, forgetting reason and sleep.
The rest moved on, but we were kicked out right into the deep.
Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?
-JW
The green eye watching me through the keyhole blinks once an hour.
Its fluorescent pink lashes snow ominous, breathtaking flour.
My apartment turns into a choking hazard, but I don’t mind it.
The gaze takes over my loose limbs and I refuse to fight it.
I don’t know where to look, I can’t find a way to pretend any longer.
The grip I have on my thick wool blanket grows stronger and stronger.
And the green eye pushes through the cracks in my dark windows.
It leaks on every surface; it goes wherever the nightly tide flows –
Until I can barely lift my lids as it elegantly floats closer and closer.
My worst sleep demons are the greatest fear composers.
I scream for help, I even plead with the gods and their entourage,
But the emerald glow mutes the sound
As they turn my soul into a green collage.
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 