Loveless phrases are spilling out of me like a curse.
My only vice was despising cruel people in reverse.
Thoughts carry me like doves, they carry me in a hearse,
And if I cry for help, I will be murdered by a nurse.
Horrendous images project on my eyelids for days.
Wise people left me for dead but some still chose to stay.
The cracks are spreading like the horsemen of my dismay.
I am far beyond repair, do not warm up the clay.
-Jackie
Thoughts of my younger self haunt me like fury and bloodlust.
Back then my pale neck ached from carrying sapphire crowns.
These days every sentence feels like a trap that will snap me,
And words slide in between my ribs until I bleed nouns.
My smile is drawn on every morning, not that it matters.
There are holes in my story but no one checks alibis twice.
There is a rope wrapped around my waist leading ambitions nowhere,
I wish this sadness was not a knife, wasting me slice by slice.
Those hot tears I once cried now give me frostbites each morning,
The bed rot consumes my heavy bones each night.
I used to think that sunrise could cleanse my chest of this sickness,
But it takes more than time to get to the gleaming light.
-Jackie
Coherent thoughts escape my bloodshot skull and drying tongue.
Red stars form into constellations while tar fills my two lungs.
I stay up haunting ghosts and braving flea-bitten memories,
And sun might rise in a few hours but I must find a new remedy.
Caffeine, wine and white agony mix sweet drinks in my chest.
Why does dread taste like candy but hope hisses like a pest?
The crowd of people on the bridge turned out to be just smoke,
But every person I talk to takes my delusions as a joke.
I do not sleep until the fist of god knocks me unconscious.
I pray to my own moral compass, asking it to stay cautious.
The night comes and fate runs me like a hamster on a wheel.
One of these days death will consume like an overdue meal.
-Jackie
Flatworms are feeding on my pale heartstrings
While thick fog forms around the graveyard trees.
Nobody’s coming to steal my silver bullets
Or this cursed tongue behind my rotting teeth.
Some say memory fades fast once you’re gone
Yet my skull feels heavier than a steel anchor.
My bones are so hollow, they swallow the ground,
And my regrets are longer than oil tankers.
Between hot showers and the morning tea,
Being stone cold sober did not get me too far.
Love came in waves and still oceans.
Love came crashing down and it left me scarred.
I still know the name but I’m keeping it here,
In my grave, in my worms and in my heart.
Once I become nothing, I’ll scream and scream,
And my demons will find you, no matter how far.
-Jackie
The applause gets louder each time I beg them to stop.
They cheer for my wins and scream from the mountaintop.
The blood on my hands drip down the knife I hold.
They would not believe that I do just what I am told.
Spit leaves their lips as they yell my name to the sun.
Those hatchets I buried turned into red water guns.
The crowds want a piece of my gold, a glimpse of god
But she is long dead and my morals are deeply flawed.
I still remember how loud they booed me back then,
Their teeth sunk into my neck when I picked up a pen.
They pretend like we reached this peak hand in hand
When they called me the maddest woman in this land.
-Jackie
They put me in the ground each evening,
Thinking that my wings can grow again,
Hoping for my halo to stop bleeding,
But I just cannot find the strength.
They cut my throat with autumn leaves
And let me paint the snow cones scarlet.
I was once one of the thieves,
I was once their shining harlot.
-Jackie
The cement they filled my boots with won’t be enough to hold me down.
The scarlet salt they threw on my door won’t bless this haunted town.
I will run to you each morning and I will use this red love as a bayonet.
When all is said and done, these fresh graves will be our last safety net.
-Jackie
I put down my pen to upkeep your peace.
I broke my feathers while you were asleep.
Bloody scars raised questions in the dark,
But your words left bruises and purple marks.
Silver amulets swung from your stingy neck,
Yet I did not see an ounce of regret.
I put down my shame to ruin your glory.
I will put down your life if you do not feel sorry.
-Jackie
I wasn’t the bad guy, I wasn’t your torment.
I was the last prophet for your killer temptations.
You left mud on people like they were your doormats
And you blamed me for it with no hesitation.
-Jackie
I read the sentences off the page like it wasn’t a testimony,
A testament to the heaven and hell you once ruled.
I sung paragraphs until words became homophonies,
And the phone never rung,
It just called me a damned fool.
-Jackie
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 