Mugs

The tea is warm, and my voice jumps an octave higher.

I spit out the words; they fall on the floor.

Face flushing, breath getting out of control.

You stump on my pieces and you ask me for more.

I was confused at first, lost a year to dead ends.

My body came apart at the seams each night.

Even friends told me I should stop crying wolf,

Even books asked me if I thought I was right.

You had your time exploring, picking at my brain,

Making sure I stayed busy while you observed.

When the nagging feeling escaped from my lips,

You took less than a moment to call me absurd.

Your first mistake was choosing me as a target,

Your second mistake was leaving footprints on graves,

Your third mistake was making yourself a martyr,

Your fourth mistake was thinking I don’t play games.

The tea is cold, and my voice stays cool and low.

I let the words roll off my tongue and I watch you.

Face flushing, breath shaking, no hint of a smirk.

Don’t you beg for comfort,

Don’t you ask for rescue.

-Jackie

Judgement

In your sea of misery,

where do I float like a wreck?

Is it somewhere by the shore?

Do my ribs hang around your neck?

I’m not a thing you hide in corners.

I’m no longer twenty-six.

I asked for you to show me kindness;

you took an ax to fix it.

The smiles were all in your head,

the whispers were imagined.

I would have found some empathy

if this wasn’t so tragic.

Men like you have excuses,

men like you kill their muses.

Men like you do not lose,

but I can show you where the noose is.

-Jackie

The Temptress

I

Make room, you people!

Start digging a hole.

It’s not about who you know,

It’s about who you control.

The magazines said it best:

She’s a vicious beast.

Lower those lip corners

But never ever head east.

Hide your sons in the attic,

Raise your daughters with pride.

If her scent still lingers,

Make sure that you hide.

II

“Yet another fragile victim is joining the ranks

Of those she seduced with bullets and tanks.”

“Could he truly fall for her sardonic gaze?

Did the blade run through or did it gently graze?”

“Were her lips cherry red when she said the words?”

“I bet he fiercely fought her crooked swords.”

“She killed that marriage, she must be punished,

Ripped apart at the seams, starved and banished.”

III

My homeland has no enemies,

My palace has no door.

It’s my essence that frightens them.

La petite mort.

A victim of their making

In the devil’s clothing.

Their eyes follow me north

Where I am decomposing.

The fingers point at me,

Their tongues shoot right through.

It took me twenty years

To wrangle this little zoo.

My country has no traitors,

My palace has no gate.

Come right in and test me.

If you dare, take the bait.

-Jackie

The Haunting

Photo by Eugene Golovesov

There was a chill in the sigh that escaped your lips

Before your words drove blades into my bruised neck.

I thought I knew it all back when we built this ship.

I thought we could find a shore if I stayed on the deck.

My fingers wore your calluses like they were jewels,

The moonlight made my dark worries seem too small.

While I was asleep, you took the profits and tools,

And you hid the last prophets in my bedroom walls.

“A willing participant, a creature well below me.”

Did I will your cruel plans into my tranquil life?

Once they bury me, will they think of me as a trophy?

Will they ever find the chains, the cages, the knife?

-Jackie

Your Ghost

That ghostly string that ties us together,

It keeps tipping people over

When I stand up for what is right.

Those late night thoughts I gave you,

They keep bruising my knees

Whenever I see an unfiltered light.

That hand you used to touch my back,

It haunts my darkest nightmares,

And I wish I could kill you.

Your pale eyes stare me up and down.

They chase my every success.

But you won’t stop,

Will you?

-Jackie

The Long Road

A piece of me fell out of your holey pockets

As you carried my weight for seventeen miles.

The rivers were cold and the winds were ruthless.

The gods were playing with their rusty dials.

My waist broke under your touch like a twig

But the moonlight fell on my spine with grace.

Hope still flutters deep in my hollow bones.

When they unearth me, you won’t save face.

-Jackie

Sacred

These wooden doors I carve out on Friday nights

Turn to gravestones under the Sunday light.

These violet hopes I hold in my bottomless pockets

Grow engines and shells, then turn into rockets.

The pit in my stomach tells me money is sacred

But only if I can imagine them naked.

The scarf on my neck gives me scars so bloody

I curse the cruel gods who created my body.

-Jackie

My Brothers

My brothers stood on steep hills

With sharp wind in their faces.

They looked for me in pale crowds,

They missed me in dark places.

My brothers killed the last traitors

When they came for my head.

Seven years stood between us,

Seven fates ripped like threads.

My brothers listened to echoes

Until the pain turned to greed.

My own brothers sold tickets

As crowds made my soul bleed.

My brothers wait for my death,

They hope my spine will falter.

I am their last breathing sister.

Their necks will become my altar.

-Jackie

The Moon

I hope the matching tattoo is healing better on your skin than it is on mine.

Time played tricks and fate fooled us twice but you crossed the dotted line.

Years flew by but I stood still, counting on you to give me back the whole moon.

I hope my red ink haunts you through hectic nightmares like a furious goon.

-Jackie

Beast In Sheep’s Clothing

If we part our ways tonight, perhaps one holy day

I won’t need to imagine what it feels like to be loved.

If I land this last curse, perhaps you will sigh in pain,

But perhaps I will wait here for the push to shove.

You treat me like a headache on a rainy fall night

That kills your joy and pulls you in its red claws.

I begged for care while you killed me with freedom.

The land was long dead when you wrote its first laws.

If I leave you to die here with this curse you carry,

Will you dance with your fate or will you push through?

If another one falls for the beast in sheep’s clothing,

Will I finally let myself blame this on you?

-Jackie