Concrete Gods

Photo by João Luccas Oliveira from Pexels

When nobody’s around, I sneak out to the forest to dance.

I greet every critter, I hold it in my trembling hands.

The moonlight pours its salvaging light over my arms,

It tingles my spine, releases all the pressure and harm.

So I waltz to the never-ending music of this greenery,

My bare thumbs touching every inch of the scenery.

The lines in my palms blossom like rare spring flowers

But they fade when the sky releases the sunlight showers.

I return to my shelter, re-entering my life more than sleepless,

Pretending to blend in with those walking around heatless.

When there are people around, I hide my muddy feet,

I secretly cross my fingers when admitting complete defeat.

Each afternoon we all bow to the same concrete gods,

Then go home and unwrap our faces from the phony gauze.

When they all go to sleep, I sneak into the forest to scream.

The soundwaves escaping my lips scorch the chartreuse leaves.

-JW

The Runner

Photo by Alan Quirván from Pexels

Sweat dripping down her chin as her warm breath vaporizes the winter air –

She’s the obnoxious type, insidious gaze and long tightly braided hair.

The smell of her floral deodorant is making me nauseous to the bone

So I watch her pass me from the onyx shadows, I want to get her alone.

She runs up the small hill and disappears for some time, have I lost her?

I’m fidgeting a cigarette bud between my fingers like an inept mobster.

Seven minutes pass and I hear her approaching the park again, I freeze.

A sigh of relief escapes my lips. I ready my fists to deal with this tease.

I’ve noticed her running by my windows ever since the last Christmas eve,

With her smouldering looks, with her black shoes, her heart of a thief.

It wasn’t attraction or passion, it was this beastlike, even primal desire

To choke her ashen, making the tip of her tongue burn with an ungodly fire.

So I wait where the streetlights can’t expose my pale complexion,

I shiver with anticipation as her feet cross the nearby intersection.

The closer her rhythmic steps come, the louder my right ear rings.

I even imagine someone finding her body when the first birds sing.

As she steps out of the light and into the poorly lit corner of the park

My arms reach for her shoulders – but there’s nobody in the dark.

Surprised I turn around, I spin like a lost child left alone in the mall.

Then I see it – right where the pathway emerges from the duskiness,

She stands staring, reminding me of a haunted doll.

I scream but no one hears my call.

-JW

The Key To LED Is Blue

Photo by Andre Moura from Pexels

The mauve satin sky has fallen upon my borough

Giving all faces the anonymity of a John Doe.

We’re all in veils, we’re balancing on the rim.

We all move in vain, it’s muted, dull and dim.

The light we consume can be bought in store

And houses in my street have the same iron door.

Each night it seems there’s a stranger in my bed.

The illusion of normalcy is messing with my head.

I could swear – the sun’s made from diodes too.

Some keep chanting, “the key to LED is blue.”

Although it seems likely what’s inside remains real

They did replace my roses with stainless steel.

So I try to look closely at jasmines and maples –

The edges are fastened with invisible staples.

Translucent wires keep forcing me to smile

While my throat’s burning with curses and bile.

My pillow’s filled with pages of charred books,

There’s only normalcy, normalcy

Wherever I look.

-JW

Killing Friends

Photo by Deeana Creates from Pexels

The leaves were covered in frozen mist during that October sunrise,

Birds chirped their goodbyes through the glistening clouds

And there was this emptiness the beauty couldn’t suffice.

Chilly tombstones surrounded us both as far as the eye could see.

An unspoken promise and mystery arose in the silence

But your glance twitched in horror, not in glee.

“What does it take to kill a friend?” I wondered to myself mischievously

As the city reminded us of its wandering ways with loud honks,

Taking us out of the delirious sleep.

“You told me to take you away but what’s the catch?” I spoke up.

My sweater wasn’t warm enough to keep the breezes away.

I was too focused to feel hopeful.

Internally you pleaded with your own shame, with your own instincts.

“You can’t outrun me now, it’s painfully obvious,

But your body will try once the adrenaline stings.”

We stood wordlessly for a moment more, then you bolted for the street.

I enjoy a good chase, yet – this was a mediocre one at best.

Every lion has to hunt, every hunter has to eat.

The leaves were covered in frozen red droplets during that October sunrise,

Birds fled for cover towards the stormy autumn clouds

And there was beauty to it no emptiness could replace.

-JW

To Escape The Neon Hourglass

Photo by Nikolai Ulltang from Pexels

My feet are carrying me ahead – through the dense forest, down the hill.

Trees squeezing together tightly to keep me from moving, to keep me still.

I know the night is almost over but the branches refuse to let in the sun –

As long as they convince me that the darkness endures, I believe I am the only one.

There is a gleam in the distance, it spins like a disco ball, it blurs my vision.

My boots sink into the moss as I trip over the shrubs trying to escape this gimmick.

But there is nowhere to go, only this evergreen vault crushing my ribs.

I am crawling and panting, the thought of stopping seems sweeter than figs.

No, there must be a path that leads to the other side, there must be some hope.

The woods chuckle at my silliness as a breeze pushes me on a downward slope.

My nails are bloody, fingers so raw they burn, knuckles whiter than snow.

The tentacles of another violent forest creature drag me towards the neon glow.

I stab with all my anger, I bite and snarl until it drops me in the grass.

“Keep your head down,” I repeat to myself, managing to ignore the hourglass.

With the force of a hurricane I grab my hunting knife and hurry away,

Through leaves, cones and pine needles my legs fight the desire to stay.

Even through my frantic breathing I hear the black abyss collapsing behind me.

I stumble closer to the real light, it is darting towards me, lukewarm and shiny.

The forests fail to claim my body yet another time, but they will return.

One day I might gather the courage to let all the twigs and roots burn –

But not today. If I only sprint faster,

I can take a step closer to the point of no return.

-JW

Emptying The Guns

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva from Pexels

And she painted her rooms black, every edge, every single wall.

The intruders thought she’d gone mad when visiting her that fall.

No one asked out loud though, they let it slide for the sake of it all.

She painted her rooms black, then laid on the floor dressed in white

Just to feel small.

And she cut off her long hair, she shortened her skirts and dresses.

The grass tickled her thumbs when she ran away from all the messes –

No one seemed to notice though, no one ever stopped the presses.

She cut off her hair and sold half of her closet,

She burned up their old addresses.

And she walked for miles gasping every time the glass cut open her skin,

The people throughout the city promised to cut off her fins.

No one said it but the intention was clear – no witch, no sin.

She walked the city, and each blade they pushed in her back

Felt like a tiny pin.

And she carried on, walked even faster, and readied her boats.

The village folks triumphantly whispered, “Witches never float.”

No one screamed in pain, they simply collapsed all at once.

She’s carried this weight for decades,

Let her finally empty the guns.

-JW

Your Death Wasn’t Televised

Photo by Francesca Zama from Pexels

Delivery notes piling up on your doorstep, Christmas lights still in your window.

Will they ever even notice how your worn-out sofa is missing one beige pillow?

The time passes and much to my chagrin nobody seems to care about your absence.

I drown my mind in self-loathing, waste my money on pricy gins and absinths.

But day after day you fail to make the headlines shake with vulgar excitement –

Was your life truly this lonely, were you left to rot in this world’s confinement?

No, I’m not sorry, at least for you, it’s cruel that I had to stay behind to watch,

To witness how your lifeless body wasn’t recovered from the pumpkin patch.

A week has gone by, only now I see the neighbours snooping in your garden,

Knocking without any luck, growing paranoid, offering the Satan a bargain.

Some detectives show up, some prints are taken, some folks are interviewed.

The bloody hammer cemented in my basement wall won’t let them prosecute.

So I observe from a distance, yet I’m never close enough to connect the dots –

Can you really blame them? You were shy, backdropping those who called the shots.

At least it’s what they repeat – but I knew better, I got to see the very worst.

You called my phone and you banged on my doors for weeks, you had the thirst

But you didn’t have the motive which made you the perfect stranger to me.

You peeped through my windows at night, sang about my mezzanine.

I didn’t know your name, couldn’t tell what you looked like, goddamn bastard.

You thought you’re in charge but I used your garage like a splashboard –

Possibly in that lurid moment your vicious brain realized what it’s done,

And when the hammer landed, your hellfire started blazing like the sun.

But it’s all good if I deserve the eternally unforgiving flames too,

I’m not looking for excuses, pardons or second chances.

As long as you’re the first down there, balancing on razors in the sinners’ zoo,

My blissful heart whirls in mysterious dances.

-JW

And The City Lights Followed

Photo by Lucas Pezeta from Pexels

Too often I forget that it’s never completely and utterly dark in this city.

I crave the feeling of opening my eyes at night, my despair sitting with me,

And staring into the pitch black darkness. It’s rather revealing.

But I wake up each night to sirens or the neighbours viciously heaving.

It’s never dark enough for me to stumble upon something yet undiscovered

So I put my head under the covers to distract me from the blossoming colors.

The white noise coming from the electric buzz of neon chases me,

Down the halls, across the roads, into the trees which once sung me to sleep.

Have I even slept for the last couple of years, have I really dreamt?

The city lights pour down my jawbone humming, “You have been exempt

From the long hours, scary shadows under the trees, from your own claws.”

Yet nowadays my lips reach for the phone when a yesterday calls.

Perhaps I’m narrating this because it could be taken away if I stop,

If I look back one last time and the woods no longer echo the plot,

If the paths through our favorite pines or birches forget my flowery scent,

I might wake up one day burning my sanity to cover the rent…

Therefore I ran and the city lights followed,

The noose around me glowed fluorescent.

-JW

The Blue-Skinned Girl

Photo by Connor Gardenhire from Pexels

The trees are no longer calling for my blood or reaching for my neck.

They stand tall, branches oscillating steadily, all roots on deck.

I hear the stories still making their rounds about “how they oppressed her”,

“The blue-skinned girl turning the forest too distant and dismal.”

Rest assured, I never begged anyone to deal with my chaotic conundrums,

Never broke a branch I couldn’t grow back during one of my tantrums.

Yet the word is faulty and rumours can get flimsy, they flit.

The power of one well-timed curse can make or break the fire pit.

I’ve received my fair share of burns, some of them – self-inflicted.

The trees added insults to injury, they stirred the fire until I was addicted,

And people kept saying, “That’s what you get when you dance in the dark.”

So I stayed in the forest, counting my bruises, cutting open new marks.

The years piled up, the black sky grew quieter, the villagers got hungrier.

My house settled, all the spiky walls turned softer and sturdier.

The trees are no longer calling for my blood or reaching for my neck.

They stand beside me, branches saluting calmly, roots bowing in respect.

-JW

The Man In The Forest

Photo by Khoa Võ from Pexels

He looked at me through the window each night. He was there at 9 PM without a fault.

You could barely tell if you didn’t look hard enough – but if you did,

There was a cigarette burning in the piny vault.

The forest surrounded the house tightly. I know, it was highly unlikely for anyone to be in this lair.

But… look at the trees by the shack and tell me that you don’t see

A lighter sparkling like the state fair.

There was also the noise, rain dripping on his plastic coat ever so gently. Impossible to miss it.

I’ve lived in these woods for two decades, this is way off, yet the cop told me:

“Don’t be so hot headed, little missy.”

What else could I do? I locked the doors, bolted the windows, left the knife close by just in case.

Each morning I found fresh footprints in the mud, it almost seemed

As if he’d picked up the pace.

And then he started leaving me gifts. Was it a cruel joke, was it just to prove nobody cares?

He knew I haven’t had any visitors since he started this charade.

He knew I’m unravelling tear by tear.

I moved into the second storey three days ago – hoping more doors will grant me some peace.

There was a photo of me sleeping on the kitchen table the next morning.

It seems the bastard has my keys.

So I’m not sleeping tonight. I’m not bravely waiting by the door, I’m under the living room table,

Terrified, small, feeling the adrenaline punching a hole in my brain,

Waiting for my pulse to become stable.

He can’t see me if he comes in through any of the doors, can’t hurt me or frighten my chilly bones.

For the longest time I don’t hear anything at all, it’s suspicious.

“But he would know where I am if he’s already inside my home.”

The thought reaches me too late, he rushes in from the kitchen and blocks the way.

It’s too dark to see his face but I can tell he’s smiling as he speaks:

“A lovely hideaway, dear, too bad your daddy refused to pay.”

-JW