Tag: mental health poetry

Mugs

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The tea is warm, and my voice jumps an octave higher.

I spit out the words; they fall on the floor.

Face flushing, breath getting out of control.

You stump on my pieces and you ask me for more.

I was confused at first, lost a year to dead ends.

My body came apart at the seams each night.

Even friends told me I should stop crying wolf,

Even books asked me if I thought I was right.

You had your time exploring, picking at my brain,

Making sure I stayed busy while you observed.

When the nagging feeling escaped from my lips,

You took less than a moment to call me absurd.

Your first mistake was choosing me as a target,

Your second mistake was leaving footprints on graves,

Your third mistake was making yourself a martyr,

Your fourth mistake was thinking I don’t play games.

The tea is cold, and my voice stays cool and low.

I let the words roll off my tongue and I watch you.

Face flushing, breath shaking, no hint of a smirk.

Don’t you beg for comfort,

Don’t you ask for rescue.

-Jackie

Insecurities

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Photo by Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz

I don’t know how to tell myself “no”,

So, I let petty things and jewelry distract me.

I’m nothing but a price tag myself,

And I worry my small problems will one day attack me.

I demonize those who do better,

I root for their downfall while inhaling fumes.

They probably feel how insecure I am.

They don’t want me to stay in the room.

Still, revenge is the one thing that drives me,

And if I don’t feel it, I don’t feel at all.

My lack of self-control controls me.

I’m scared that one day it will tell me to crawl.

-Jackie

Make Me Bleed

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Photo by Vika Kirillova

My arrows shoot for the tall trees,

And the forest stands perfectly still.

I try to set my ringing rage free,

But it does not bend to my will.

Long nails push against my temples

As the night crawls into my chest.

The fresh air waves and trembles,

And anger throws me out of the nest.

The birds laugh in my pale face,

But I make sure to grit my teeth.

Even if my steps can be traced,

They won’t get a chance to make me bleed.

-Jackie

Destined To Fail

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Photo by Valter Zhara

Throw me a lifeline and watch me drown it in the sea.

Come save me in a lifeboat as I burn like a dry tree.

My journey is destined to fail before I pack the bags.

I hope they sell my clothes and bury me in rags.

-Jackie

Dear Caller

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Photo by Martin Lopez

Suffocate me with gentle palms as I curse out the muddy roads.

Tattoo the shape of your lips on my collarbone as I implode.

My tongue is a weapon, the sharpest blade in the seven lands,

But I cannot use it on you, so squeeze it until I hurt my hands.

-Jackie

Cigarettes

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Photo by Emma Li

I smoke cigarettes on the balcony,

Hoping you still remember me.

I walk shakily in the middle of the road,

Hoping you know I feel alone.

Last November left us in ruins.

You left and turned me inhuman.

I smoke cigarettes on the balcony,

Erasing you like a prophecy.

-Jackie

The Mess

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Photo by Daniel Sarmiento

Milk spills on the kitchen counter,

And I spoil your thoughts until they turn sour.

I might not be the angel you invisioned,

But my nails are growing sharper by the hour,

And soon enough I will make the incision.

I will kiss their necks and drink their wine

Until someone messes up my blurry vision.

Despite it all, I will call that mess mine.

-Jackie

Just A Warning

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Photo by Plato Terentev

The operators are all busy answering silent callers,

And I do not blame them for ignoring my screams.

The pebbles in my shoes are cutting open my feet,

But if I keep my eyes closed, I will tear at the seams.

Tongues press against my neck like a warning.

Their sour breaths sneak up my nostrils and I wretch.

The operators are all busy watching me suffer,

And I know they will clap when I reach the edge.

-Jackie

Big Screen

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Photo by Hashtag Melvin

Did we lose our way in the harrowing darkness?

The credits are rolling, but no one’s getting up.

The quiet is smothering me with pale arms,

And it seems like the fate has spilled my cup.

Did we lose our humbleness between the lines?

The saddest church bells are crying in the distance.

I have made my peace with the blinding lights,

But I doubt I’ll grow fond of my own existence.

-Jackie

Body Bag

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Photo by ALEKSEY DANILOV

My body begs me to stop for a moment,

But that plan collapses with the others,

And my aspirations stay hungry

As I feed on the suffering of my brothers.

My head is running itself into the ground,

Yet it feels like a solid surface.

The ice feels nicer than my pillow.

I wonder if the pain really has a purpose.

-Jackie