Tag: Jackie

Travelling Show

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Quite tragic what happened when I dropped you and left.

I turned away dramatically while holding your spine

Like a cigarette.

At least that’s what you’re telling them, that’s how I know

That when I left, you made me into an amusement park,

Into a travelling show.

Not a circus, just a bare stage and bad storytelling.

I can tell you lie because your tongue is sour from spite

And it’s rapidly swelling.

It hurts to re-run the memories, to think about how I quit.

You were extremely vile but I wasn’t scared – so go,

Take away your friendship that’s counterfeit.

-JW

Fresh As A Daydream

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It’s one of those days. Someone breaks the news, the news break my bones.

Simple, logical. I’m lost in time and space. I’m freeing the dusty thrones.

Marching around the room aimlessly, memories bursting by my teary eyes,

Light speed is nothing compared to the rush of these thoughts, these lies.

I’m deep in self-pity and misery, angry at the destiny that cost me the sky.

Why do I only believe that there’s a god when I’m high on the cupid’s supply?

Then my song comes on. It crumbles. The reality reappears fresh as a daydream.

I start remembering all the parts you didn’t own, how I was always the A-team.

And the freedom sets me jumping up and down, flying down a flight of stairs.

My father used to say that goodbyes are only bitter if the opponent fought fair.

All life spent running from demons – maybe this is the one I beat facing him directly?

Maybe you were the one wicked curse not going in for the kill,

Maybe you shot to protect me?

-JW

Blood Is (Not) Thicker

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As cold as these memories are, I’ll try torching them nonetheless.

The rose tattoo on my shoulder is freezing, the shakes are becoming effortless.

The marrow in the bones is long gone, my hunger doesn’t stand a chance.

And I’m sorry that I’m so damn spoiled – I tried to warn you in advance.

I see troops marching with the machines, gathering their accolades.

My tongue – twisting in an endless loop, seeking words to dull the blades.

It is never easy to lose the one you looked for to a petty act of vengeance.

Why in our twenties we’re acting like we owe respect to ancestors

And also – descendants?

It’s good to have pride but how much honor can each generation carry?

Every step hurts the parents, every misstep – kids; cheeks burning redder than sweetest cherries.

As scary as it is to leave the past behind and future ahead, I will take my chances.

Surviving from second to second, trusting my mind, not my blood-addicted senses.

-JW

The Darkest Sides of the Moon

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Help me sober up from the puddle of mud I chugged for you.

We’re not operating at the same frequency but it still rings true –

I cannot concentrate when your foolish mind runs around mine,

It sprints in circles, and I’m outrun, acting as if it’s fine.

No one’s giving a helping hand when I’m down and that’s normal.

I begged you not to cut my wrists and you asked to keep it formal.

One inch from the finish line is where I realized my painful mistake –

I didn’t let your cast iron heart drown in sea, I thought it was a fake.

You’ve been exquisite at making the darkest sides of the moon disappear,

And I’ve kept my guard up, kept the bridges burned and coast clear.

Somehow the mud in my stomach is making my heels unsteady,

And maybe we’re not on the same wave-length but to let you go –

I don’t feel ready.

But if you still have some love in stock, I won’t take any.

I’m not your lucky penny.

Not again.

I won’t take any.

Bloodline

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And my bloodline charged me with arson

Even though I simply lit one spark.

They tried me for treason – no particular reason,

They didn’t want me to leave a mark.

“Let the witches burn, don’t fight it,” I say,

“Let them scream, let’s imagine it’s all realer than real.”

I embrace how they turn the narrative to betray.

One can boil blood but can’t melt steel.

With this low gaslight temperature

They’re ruining the play.

I’m not here to stay.

-JW

Velvet

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A lot of undeserved luck comes out of this moment,

And I don’t nurture the fear, I choke the opponent.

I’m too aggressive, they say, a real big sounder,

But really, I might go mute if I go a little louder.

Out of Seattle the mountain lions are sound asleep.

In this short sleeve weather I’m singing to “Creep”.

The orange skyline spilling wet honey on my nose.

Being myself is still the most dangerous dose.

The boots sink into the dusty ground, creating smoke,

Contemplating this weird existence, sipping coke,

Riding the blackest ideas out, smoking them like velvet…

You know?

Once the blade falls down, I won’t wear a helmet.

-JW

Three Lights

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Staying safe in between the busy railroads,

Running trains brushing off painted antidotes.

The trees lean on my clavicle, cracking it in,

And feeling good seems to be the original sin.

Leaves shaking my ribcage with seven winds,

Heart chambers made out of empty cans and tins.

Roots graying out but I’m standing my ground.

Seeing the three lights approaching

Kicks my recklessness, so new-found.

-JW

Phrases

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“Can you tell me where it hurts and point me to the nearest exit?”

“Resilience is overrated in the promise land of Jokers who flex it

And your bruises are due already, pay up or leave the city.”

“Why bother leading the path if you could just look pretty?”

…

“Stand up and straighten your shoulders, baby, don’t be moody,

You’re not the next Marilyn in a black and white movie.”

“What’s up with the lipstick, don’t you want to go brighter?”

“I’m down for the fright but I’m not a real fighter.”

…

“Put a smile on that face, don’t you dare to make a scene!”

”You can only afford to be either sexy or perfectly lean.”

“What’s up with the jumpers, mate, are you finally expecting?”

“Please don’t drink and drive while you’re also texting.”

I hope you don’t find me writing down your innuendos vexing.

(Stop playing god, your moral’s perplexing.)

-JW

Farewells

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Nothing makes my days calmer than the absence of you.

And for some reason I didn’t have the power to let you go –

On my own, without someone pulling the trigger for me.

Only blank bullets rained on you so it didn’t hurt. Sorry.

But the taste of freedom is feeding my senses decadently.

I want to take in the moments as if they’re the last to see.

Maybe I’m mean but you burned me blue for your pleasure

So let me keep the memory of you leaving as a treasure.

-JW

Building A Lullaby

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The perfect balance does not exist on a faulty planet

And destiny keeps playing drums on polished granite.

The rhythm section is not coming along as planned.

It sometimes scares me – here we stand

Just to end up as few grains of sand.

I try to amplify the echoes but they all fall flat on the ground.

Plastic crates, even metal cages do not resonate the sound.

The lurking chords are getting wider with nowhere to go

So I talk in my sleep while it snows.

At least my nightmares have something to show.

-JW