Tag: break up

Your Apartment

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Bright orange sun’s setting over your empty building,

The windows carry your refection, pale yet gilded.

The apartment’s wrapped in your evaporating scent.

It’s fading into nothingness, stealing away the rent.

You’re gone but the misery is running on empty.

I’m just wishing someone would volunteer to help me

And bring back what’s left of you in this wasteland –

But tragedy only kills those who face it first-hand.

I miss you while the sun plays with your coffee cups.

Your neighbors don’t know, I hear their laughter erupt.

From your living room window I see the place we met,

Now it feels like a long-abandoned movie set.

I get on my knees and let the light burn me dry,

Praying to anyone who would listen for one last high.

Yet, the radio silence is unforgiving, as always,

And I know I’ll move on from these never-ending dog days.

Still, the orange sun haunts me through lonely evenings,

It fades your reflection and calls it grieving.

Looks are deceiving.

I need you to stay just to keep breathing.

-JW

The Well

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There’s this unspoken fear in the obvious

That’s devotedly snaking around the both of us.

Our wrists are leaking poison into the well

But I won’t say it if you won’t tell.

They’re drinking it up, they’re cheering out loud.

The biggest liar is the face of a crowd.

Our lids are dripping neon into the well

But I won’t say it if you won’t tell.

We’re drifting apart, firing bullets with our tongues,

Wounded to death but the night is still young.

Our heads are spilling gasoline into the well,

But I won’t explode if you won’t yell.

-JW

Hexes

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We’re torn between the lines,

With thorns puncturing our sides.

The past seems to be fading,

Losing lines and losing shading.

With the background disappearing

I forget what I’ve been fearing

And I give into your light,

Shoot right up just like a kite.

But the high is too confusing,

Forcing me to face the music,

Hiding sins in champagne glasses,

Stealing dreams and burning castles.

So my words erase your hexes,

Drown them with the circumflexes.

And I pull away my hands,

Let you sink in your dark chants.

-JW

Heart For Dinner

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The tires of your car ruin the perfect peace and radio silence

As you approach with crocodile tears glued to your lids like diamonds.

There’s toxic spite in your back pocket, the antidote’s in my bag.

Your stare can only hurt me that far

With its raging red flags.

Birds are not chirping tonight, no, they’re flying for their lives.

But I always stayed, through all your nosebleeds and nosedives.

Now you thank me one last time by handing me the trigger,

Hoping I have what it takes to resist

Eating your heart for dinner.

The trees lean in and wait for me to make the final decision.

I do not rush, I let my fury pierce the air with marksman’s precision.

My words slide through your stiff chest like some lost shrapnel

As I leave you there imagining

That we never happened.

-JW

Our Clocks

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A week before we met I was writing suicide notes on silver displays.

A week before we met I drifted neck deep into a greyish haze.

But you were unaware when you opened the filthiest of my stiches,

You were inadvertently smoothing out some colossal bugs and glitches.

What began as a joke, ended in you sewing together a hopeless bleeder.

I didn’t know how, I didn’t know why, and you didn’t know it either.

But I plucked the thought of us out of my head without second guessing,

Said I fixed it myself in order to keep my lying bones from confessing.

I fought it hard, yet soon enough – I drank from the gilded chalice.

Your eyes became the rotten green light to my Gatsby’s palace.

And, damn, I loved you. I loved you like I’ll never love another man.

The melody of your laughter composed symphonies in my tired head.

The closer we grew, the quieter the world around our lives became.

Neither one of us seemed to mind if you and I remained the same…

A week after you held me, they exchanged our sky lanterns for rocks.

A week after you held me, they tore us apart for palladium blocks

And they obliterated all our calendars,

All our clocks.

-JW

The Show Mustn’t Go On

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I lit thirteen black candles to get you out of my four chambers

And I prayed to the gods and devils, even some saviors.

Every last belonging of yours I tossed out of the blurry window,

Every corner of my cell I cleaned, still –

You called me a bimbo.

Or was it my shattered ego throwing a tantrum once again?

I can’t compete with this, your venom is my ritualistic sin.

Four days I’ve been counting the seconds to our next row.

Baby, I’ll hit where it hurts but you’ll always go low.

Shows like this mustn’t go on, despite the audience chanting.

Whenever we crash again, they’ll call it a fabulous landing.

I’m over being type-cast as your next big step to freedom.

If you grow your demons for too long,

Someone needs to feed them.

It won’t be me, unfortunately, I’d rather run with my heathens.

The neon city might crash my bones but I’m not looking for Eden.

The next time you come down from the clouds pale, empty handed

Please keep in mind – it is still me you carved and forever branded.

You were never stranded.

-JW

My Best Bet

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The arcades across the street are tempting my senses.

You are holding my hand, asking not to leave,

Counting expenses.

Casinos all across the strip losing power at your sight.

There and then I drop the cigarette and know –

This is a holy rite.

Balancing the sadness and joy between coins dropping.

Burned out fiction worlds crumbling around me,

Expectations flopping.

My best bet is still you but the dices keep rolling.

Flush is not good enough and I know I’m done,

Even without polling.

Sometimes an overheard victory is a lose-lose game.

I kick open the door and sigh.

Took all the riches home tonight but – why?

All that remains is the absence of you and shame.

-JW

Lonely Poetry Ritual

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Not missing you hurts more than holding onto your arm for dear life.

That was the part I least expected. Did you?

Did it cut like a hollow knife?

Don’t be fooled, I’m not looking for answers in lonely poetry rituals tonight.

I’m simply grasping the little ironies of how instead of leaving it all alone

I put up a fight.

The calm I feel now – wouldn’t sell if for 30 pieces of silver, I think Judas lied.

Or maybe he did it to embrace the peace afterwards,

And the offer of coins simply aligned?

But I’m not angry anymore – so it’s impossible to hang around the grief,

It’s even difficult to recall how rage fumed out of my nostrils

Hence I’m asking you to keep the goodbyes brief.

Not missing you is like taking a shower and rediscovering my own skin underneath –

Again, after all the slaps and bruising, and dragging my name through the mud

I’m finally smiling with my teeth.

Your time is up, old friend, please take the last empty seat.

-JW

Rusty

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Devil only got in trouble because she spoke the truth.

As the barks of bad reputation got louder, we reached for the passion fruit.

Way down we go… I would do it all over again, bathing in holy water.

Not once will I scream or beg to the father.

Disobedience will become my alma mater.

***

I’ll be your friend until the heated end. Until the last leaf in the tree turns into dust.

When air turns to smoke, I’ll hold the corners of your mouth up until my palms are covered in rust.

Pollution will smell like musk.

The end will be easy though – surroundings will fade,

Your soul will get wanderlust.

-JW

Seeing Red

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You sat there, one feet away, your arm right by mine. Your warmth – numbing.

I wish they could see me getting looked at this way.

They said I’m just trouble and my father left because of my shortcomings.

You brushed the fear away and you held me back when I was seeing red.

But when the sand castles I built came apart, I was screaming at the sea –

And yet, you didn’t see me as a threat.

You called me crazy a few times, I called you a moron, and we called it a day.

No matter what happens, your cheek in my hand is what matters,

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You danced to the silly records I put on this afternoon when you thought it’s lost.

The circles you drew in the air while smiling at me

Was probably what I loved the most.

You have to go soon. You don’t know it yet but you have to leave.

I will drop out of this manic phase, I will break your heart without noticing.

By the corner we met you will heave.

You still are the only person I’m truly sorry to. I wish they could see me.

The way you looked at me like you could read between the lines of my mind

Made me think you could never leave me.

You know you can’t. I promise I’ll make it easy. My love, I swear –

If I had everything in this world, the only thing I’d me missing

Is having your scent to wear

Around my veins and arteries, pulsating,

Spreading your sweet naivety across the room

Slowly detonating

The strings of my heart.

My love, I’m only playing the part.

-JW