Changing

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I hate the city in sunny days, my make-up looks too bright and face – too wretched.

Silver Cadillacs rolling down the crowded streets, blaring, ‘cause every madness has a method.

Men seeing right through the vanilla scent in my hair, women looking me up and down –

Do they really think I chose this life out of boredom and became this decadent clown?

Every other car on the street sends me silent air kisses.

I don’t know whether they think:

“It’s the normalcy she misses.”

But I walk past the cars. Across the dust clouds. They’re settling on my contact lenses.

I’m swinging through the joys of this wicked ride and all it’s expenses.

-JW

I hate this poem…

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I’m gonna love you from a distance. I’m gonna want you from a far.

I keep telling myself lies – that I’m good when we’re apart.

Sitting here, drinking, and hoping that a car ran me over today, twice.

For looking into those deadly nightshade eyes of yours I have to pay the price.

Have loved you for a week again, will hate you for the months to come –

But clearly that’s alright. I’d chug a pint of poison if it tastes like bubble gum.

Never been the quiet type, observer or admirer. I fucking hate this poem too.

When and why did I go blind? Why do I wonder tirelessly, without a clue?

I haven’t lost a part of me in you, yet what scares me the most here

Is that I’ve found something new, and that’s simply not fair.

None of my friends dare to ask what I’m truly feeling because they know

Once the truth’s out I’ll chase you like Wall Street guys from 80-s chased some blow.

I’m scared of ruining everything for you, but is there anything left to spoil?

When you speak of anyone else, the temperature raises as my blood begins to boil.

I’ve gone too low, I’ll admit it. My skull seems to be damaged with a crowbar.

Yet… I’m gonna love you from a distance. I’m gonna want you from a far.

-JW

A Maniac’s Love Letter

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How come – it’s another day in the fairytale land with so little joy?

You can’t buy the rights to my heart but you can always deploy,

You can always plan so that I don’t escape, yet I don’t really enjoy.

The glory might be the prize but his eyes, they don’t lie,

Chico, they’re my favorite decoy.

I’ve never asked for much when it comes to love, and I swear –

A little sense was all I wanted. Not another mask to wear.

My nerves are built of paper, they burn and they tear.

Not so sure about the others, but if it all breaks loose –

You’re the one I’m gonna spare.

The whites of your eyes look ugly when you roll them, blaring.

You launch them at me like bloodhounds. I think about disappearing

As my last act in this unrequited game. Then I recall us daring

To never leave a fib behind – and it would’ve worked if you weren’t

That passive about baring.

I’m angry. I followed your scent through the mud and got stuck

In this frozen forest with no way out. No matches. I’m out of luck.

But life goes on for you. And it won’t be you, selling tears for a buck,

Desperately waving the white flag and saving for flares to cope

With another day that will suck

In the fairytale land.

How could I dream so grand?

Now my mouth is full of sand

And I’m begging you to take me home

To the places I do understand.

-JW