The song plays on a loop in my new apartment,
And the sound surrounds me like a circle of hell.
Those missiles I aimed at your cast iron skin,
They must have convinced you to kiss and tell.
Intentions are dull like the weapons you used.
Now I justify my love to the worried masses.
What if giving up is our safest option?
What if the goodbyes broke our finest glasses?
-Jackie
I remember the scolding looks they gave away freely back when I built this dim lair,
Back when I used to think that I should just tolerate whatever love someone could spare.
Those days are now gone, and many moons have passed since I last fought fair,
And perhaps I would consider stopping this madness if they took the crown out of my hair.
-Jackie
The voices at the back of my mind hum familiar phrases.
They tell me secrets, they sing quiet curses and praises.
I wish no one notices the holes in my most hidden mazes,
And I wonder if I can disappear without leaving a trace.
-Jackie
I like you better when I watch you grow smaller in the rearview mirror.
I love you right when I see you running after a cab that I never took.
The things I enjoy in a moment tend to turn into scary enemy figures.
These memories I carry with me tend to turn into worst-selling books.
-Jackie
I feel trapped under every word these selfish lips mutter,
And I know that one rainy day they will choke me out.
Paragraphs build on my chest until breath doesn’t even matter.
I wish I could lose this murmuring brain in a roaring crowd.
-Jackie
Our friendship slipped through our shaky fingers,
And we did not even try to chase it down.
I wish I could name the people I miss,
But I know that I cannot fix your frown.
Our deepest bonds became circumstantial,
Your lips told me that I had lost the fight.
I wish I could throw in just one more sentence,
I wish I could tell you that you were right.
-Jackie
I don’t quite believe that remorse exists,
At least not like the greatest poets describe it.
I did what I had to and survived this mess,
No need to iron it out or somehow hide it.
The pain to come will be just a reminder,
The months that pass will form a faint scar.
I collect the sharp words in a thick binder.
I hope you forget me, then I wish on a star.
-Jackie
Your dishonesty shields you from my forgiveness,
But I still hope I can slash you with this blade.
The body went limp after a few thousand cuts,
And even our roses had to die in the shade.
Why did we put stiches on rotting corpses?
Why did we lose courage in the haziest nights?
You said that your armor was not a danger,
Yet you quickly grew into a ruthless knight.
-Jackie
Maybe I’m meant to love people from a far,
Keep my gurgling love at a safe distance.
These childproof locks that I put on my heart,
They break like sticks when I feel resistance.
I could have held you but it was not enough,
I could have lied but the serum ruined me.
Now I hate you for blowing up all my bluff
And you think I adore my own cruelty.
-Jackie
I give into my sweet tooth,
Give into my desires.
Trees are burning from the root,
But I fan the fire.
I crave sugar on my lips,
Sour tears in my eyes.
Use sins to pay the tips,
Smoke my lows to get high.
-Jackie
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 