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Beast In Sheep’s Clothing

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If we part our ways tonight, perhaps one holy day

I won’t need to imagine what it feels like to be loved.

If I land this last curse, perhaps you will sigh in pain,

But perhaps I will wait here for the push to shove.

You treat me like a headache on a rainy fall night

That kills your joy and pulls you in its red claws.

I begged for care while you killed me with freedom.

The land was long dead when you wrote its first laws.

If I leave you to die here with this curse you carry,

Will you dance with your fate or will you push through?

If another one falls for the beast in sheep’s clothing,

Will I finally let myself blame this on you?

-Jackie

Beyond Repair

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Photo by Mario A. Villeda

Loveless phrases are spilling out of me like a curse.

My only vice was despising cruel people in reverse.

Thoughts carry me like doves, they carry me in a hearse,

And if I cry for help, I will be murdered by a nurse.

Horrendous images project on my eyelids for days.

Wise people left me for dead but some still chose to stay.

The cracks are spreading like the horsemen of my dismay.

I am far beyond repair, do not warm up the clay.

-Jackie

Insomniac

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Coherent thoughts escape my bloodshot skull and drying tongue.

Red stars form into constellations while tar fills my two lungs.

I stay up haunting ghosts and braving flea-bitten memories,

And sun might rise in a few hours but I must find a new remedy.

Caffeine, wine and white agony mix sweet drinks in my chest.

Why does dread taste like candy but hope hisses like a pest?

The crowd of people on the bridge turned out to be just smoke,

But every person I talk to takes my delusions as a joke.

I do not sleep until the fist of god knocks me unconscious.

I pray to my own moral compass, asking it to stay cautious.

The night comes and fate runs me like a hamster on a wheel.

One of these days death will consume like an overdue meal.

-Jackie

Unwilling Angel

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They put me in the ground each evening,

Thinking that my wings can grow again,

Hoping for my halo to stop bleeding,

But I just cannot find the strength.

They cut my throat with autumn leaves

And let me paint the snow cones scarlet.

I was once one of the thieves,

I was once their shining harlot.

-Jackie

Fresh Graves

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The cement they filled my boots with won’t be enough to hold me down.

The scarlet salt they threw on my door won’t bless this haunted town.

I will run to you each morning and I will use this red love as a bayonet.

When all is said and done, these fresh graves will be our last safety net.

-Jackie

Blame

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I wasn’t the bad guy, I wasn’t your torment.

I was the last prophet for your killer temptations.

You left mud on people like they were your doormats

And you blamed me for it with no hesitation.

-Jackie

The Silence

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Photo by Anna Shakhrai

I read the sentences off the page like it wasn’t a testimony,

A testament to the heaven and hell you once ruled.

I sung paragraphs until words became homophonies,

And the phone never rung,

It just called me a damned fool.

-Jackie

Dull Crowds

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Photo by Haley Black

I don’t think it was the ray of light that stopped us

And I don’t trust gods who wanted to cause the ruckus.

It wasn’t the moon and it wasn’t the sun in the sky.

If I ask you twice, you must come up with a better lie.

I don’t think it was the hope that kept us in the game,

And I don’t believe that people’s luck are all the same.

It wasn’t my grace and it wasn’t my fear of death,

But I swear I heard you laughing as the dull crowds wept.

-Jackie

Border

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Photo by Matheus Natan

The avalanches only buried one half of the truth,

The snowfall only hid away one side of you.

Bloodshot eyes stared at me from the furthest corner,

And I couldn’t escape when I crossed the border.

-Jackie

Spill

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Photo by Tamara Martina

I have taken your oath of silence,

Crossed your name out of my will.

Honey, if I swear you to secrecy

Will you let the blue venom spill?

Will you tell them how I ached,

How I built these walls of steel?

Will you break just like I broke?

Will you be there when I heal?

-Jackie