But she fights back,
Flipping off the pearl Cadillacs,
Spitting up cigarette ash.
And the clothes won’t fit like they do on rack,
And no one cares in the city of trash.
She was broken long ago,
You can barely hear the crack.
Let her go.
With or without you paying attention
She will win herself back.
-JW
I hate the city in sunny days, my make-up looks too bright and face – too wretched.
Silver Cadillacs rolling down the crowded streets, blaring, ‘cause every madness has a method.
Men seeing right through the vanilla scent in my hair, women looking me up and down –
Do they really think I chose this life out of boredom and became this decadent clown?
Every other car on the street sends me silent air kisses.
I don’t know whether they think:
“It’s the normalcy she misses.”
But I walk past the cars. Across the dust clouds. They’re settling on my contact lenses.
I’m swinging through the joys of this wicked ride and all it’s expenses.
-JW
Is there a point to this inner monologue anymore?
We’ve lost the sight of the shore, leftover memories spilled on the floor.
So hang me from another abandoned telegraph-pole –
This prolonged, unrequited speech is sultry, yet its plot has a hole,
A breakage as deep as my moon-drenched sentiments, or deeper.
No matter how hard I’m trying to exit this conversation, the catwalk gets steeper.
The sun has damaged my jet black self-pity, turned it dark blue,
And the wire I’m trying to cut has outgrown my wits, erased the last clues.
But maybe I’m not free to escape this two sided mirror image at all?
United with ones and zeros I stand, united I fall –
To pieces, like a high-end chandelier crashing on a white marble floor.
Is there a point to anything but this inner monologue anymore?!
Because they have taken away the door.
I have taken away the door.
–JW
You might be infected with your prejudices and I don’t have the cure.
Every day it’s a back and forth between me being aloof and you being insecure.
Holding up the frozen front takes too much effort to manage as a hobby,
And you will never hear this poem, but without me you would still need to lobby.
Being accepted is a necessity for most – for you it’s a desperate need.
The loyalty train missed your station, but we were young, dancing to “Dying Breed”.
We were losing control to chilly evenings, promising what we didn’t understand,
And I still recall the look on your face when I was holding somebody else’s hand.
The moon ran smoky pictures of our better days by my empty stare…
If your prejudices cost a thing, every single soul in your path would be a millionaire.
-JW
Tie me down tightly the next time I try to claw my irises out.
The lights are acidic, music is pale and I don’t make myself proud.
Lie to me before you let the rope touch my infected neck –
And remember the hand they’ve given me came from a defective deck.
Don’t trust my cool when I approach the window so slowly.
Dearest, please, hold me back roughly, like you owe me,
Chain my feet to a block of static, mellow memories.
After all, we built this house from second-hand gossip and prophecies.
It’s time to let it slide through the fingers, let it dissolve.
And maybe, just maybe, saying goodbye will let it evolve.
So wrap the leash tighter but don’t let me look away.
The walls we built have to crumble right before my eyes
To make sure I obey.
-JW
It feels irrelevant to feel the rut I’m feeling, but it’s still true –
My mind is rumbling, I can’t hear the chorus through the blues.
The fences are getting higher and I don’t want to manage,
And every day I don’t, my brain gets twice the damage.
I didn’t know you were listening to my story all along.
To you it might seem that I’m visionless or not that strong.
To you the picture has been painted through a distorting mirror.
But I don’t care –
Come, take in my suffering from the cuts, almost like a killer.
Then he whispers:
“Step away from the catastrophe for a second, let me ground it.
I know that the truths you’ve been hearing sound astounding,
And somehow you keep on beating the current as if it’s your cure –
But there comes a time to realize that you will not be judged
By the pain you endure.”
-JW
Inscrutable gazes thrown at me from the empty corners.
This town has lost all shame, it’s gauging and devouring the mourners.
I sense a pair of evil peepers landing on my stripped emotions –
And the looks on their faces bite, but their sentences chew me up, these fake devotions…
A while back I would’ve sworn on my dignity to never let them get to you
But you left without saying goodbye, with her by your side, and I’m out of honor to prove.
No country far enough, my trail of betrayal will forever loiter around.
However, I have to flee the scene of the crime, time is an impatient hound.
Way back I heard someone mentioning the neon sins at a city behind the desert,
Three seas apart from this town, just far enough for me to run in black army boots and a nightshirt.
That’s where I’m going, no unnecessary looks over the shoulder, no farewells left for friends –
And why would I warn them? They’re the reason I have to fend,
No time left to make amends.
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 