This life devours you bite by bite,
And I watch stoically.
I save my own might.
I cannot win your fights,
Cannot heal the gnarled scars.
I gave up that power.
Therefore, I stay in my car.
You slowly turn into a whisper.
No one asks to speak up,
No one stays to listen.
But their eyes glisten,
And mine do too.
You told me I was selfish.
I wish that was not true.
-Jackie
The operators are all busy answering silent callers,
And I do not blame them for ignoring my screams.
The pebbles in my shoes are cutting open my feet,
But if I keep my eyes closed, I will tear at the seams.
Tongues press against my neck like a warning.
Their sour breaths sneak up my nostrils and I wretch.
The operators are all busy watching me suffer,
And I know they will clap when I reach the edge.
-Jackie
My demons come out of the woodwork when you flutter your lips,
And I wish I could be invisible when you trace them with your fingertips.
This town was never too kind to me, but I learned to brave the winds.
If you stay in this corner with my ghosts, you will have to love my sins.
-Jackie
Did we lose our way in the harrowing darkness?
The credits are rolling, but no one’s getting up.
The quiet is smothering me with pale arms,
And it seems like the fate has spilled my cup.
Did we lose our humbleness between the lines?
The saddest church bells are crying in the distance.
I have made my peace with the blinding lights,
But I doubt I’ll grow fond of my own existence.
-Jackie
My body begs me to stop for a moment,
But that plan collapses with the others,
And my aspirations stay hungry
As I feed on the suffering of my brothers.
My head is running itself into the ground,
Yet it feels like a solid surface.
The ice feels nicer than my pillow.
I wonder if the pain really has a purpose.
-Jackie
The early morning terrors tear me into seven pieces.
I get frightened by my own reflection as I’m pacing.
The ceiling leaks flames, but the walls cry for Jesus,
And I don’t believe prophecies
Or this dream I’ve been chasing.
Dirty nails and gnarled paws bleed into my weekends.
Shadows follow me around like a failed thief.
I don’t need an escape, I just need a few reasons.
There must be a destination,
A way to kill all this grief.
-Jackie
My kitchen floor has given up on drying my tears,
And the neighbors are shouting at me,
But I do not hear it through the layers.
He tore a hole in me, but nobody else could hear.
Lessons came in different forms,
And one of them was a prayer.
The saints taught me about guilt and forgiveness,
Yet I could not shake the feeling
And could not forget the hurt.
The wise men locked me out of their business.
They broke my iron keys,
So I built myself a new church.
-Jackie
In my side of town nights get longer and longer.
They expand until all proof of sunlight is gone.
Lost souls watch from the nosebleeds and corners,
And the flowers are starting to look pretty gaunt.
In my side of town stories fall on their faces.
Cynics drown them as critics set them ablaze.
People hand me pens that don’t leave a trace
And greedy hands fill our skulls with gray haze.
-Jackie
I want to hold onto this moment and squeeze its palm,
I want to float in it like bodies float in salty oceans.
The fire on the horizon means violence and harm,
And time tells me not to waste my devotion.
Yet, I stretch the clock like dough until it snaps.
My heart shatters like a stained glass window in a storm.
I want to believe that love conquers traps.
I want them to see that your ghost can keep me warm.
-Jackie
I will bow my head to you until the sun sets,
And I will soften my edges,
Just so they are as soft as the night we met.
I will bruise my knees until they do not hurt,
But do not cry for me at night,
Do not drag your royal name through the dirt.
I will kiss the ring to accept my own defeat.
The king is the only law,
And I willingly serve right beneath his feet.
I will bite the arm that fed me lies for years.
I will watch as you scream
While the inevtiable doomsday nears.
I will bruise the flesh of those who hurt me.
I will not need a weapon,
And trust me – I will not need a fair motive.
I will take the throne as the warm sun rises.
I will decapitate your reasons,
I will cut to pieces your twisted compromises.
-Jackie
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 