Wait for me as the sea retreats,
Watch as it slips back into its seat
And waves when I disappear.
My home’s deep under the surface,
Where only the water circles.
It strangles my circuits.
Do not turn off the light beneath.
The abyss needs to feed,
It is looking up at your feet.
Never trust the darkness below
As it lurks, wanting you to slow.
And wait for me as the sea retreats,
Breathe out once more,
Then follow me into the heat.
-JW
Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?
I am still undecided, unsure about which truth I should believe.
We both stick to our own guns only trusting what we can perceive.
Maybe the time is finally right to take a moment and breathe.
But all I know for now is that you are walking down my street.
The front door keeps my secret covered as the moonlight bleeds.
Not sure if you will pass me by or come and take what you need.
Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?
I keep looking for answers like a dog chasing autumn leaves.
Some stare in disbelief but I know they have long called us thieves.
Maybe the time is finally right to sit down and grieve
The love we lost between darkening sky, between crooked front teeth.
I look back and wonder how the paradise went unnoticed under our feet.
We danced around in lavender silk, forgetting reason and sleep.
The rest moved on, but we were kicked out right into the deep.
Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?
-JW
The pain only lasted for a moment or two.
I put myself together with stiches dipped in glue.
My palms grew selfish, my skin grew slicker,
I covered the scars in bright blue stickers.
And some wanted to soothe my brittle bones –
But I do not deal in misery, I suppose.
So, I burned all the gifts they graciously brought me,
Perished the lies they branded “true stories”.
The ache lived through me, it laid roots like a tree,
You wanted to drown my sorrows in the sea.
Yet, the beacon guided you away from the bay.
But do not worry,
The pain only lasted for a day.
-JW
Three days in a row I’ve seen you hiding by the forest line.
The rain’s soaking your dirty hair but I let you take your time.
Your face is vaguely familiar yet the name escapes my mind,
And uneasy feeling sits in my stomach like rocks,
It twists and it grinds.
So I stay up all night watching your movements from the attic.
You can’t find a way in and I smile as your behaviour turns erratic.
But then you notice the basement window, it’s slightly open.
You dive right through with a grin on your lips,
Taking the trap for a token.
The red floor creeks gently under your worn out sneakers.
You must’ve woken her up, she’s quite a light sleeper.
So I wonder – what did you notice first, was it the smell?
Was it the glowing eye or another dead creeper?
It’s hard to guess from your yells…
Go ahead and keep that secret all to yourself.
Three days in a row I’ve heard you screaming for help.
The rain’s leaking into the basement, mixing with gore.
This house feeds on souls,
I hope you don’t mind that I volunteered yours.
-JW
I sell and barter my last faith away
But I can’t be bothered
To save some for a rainy day.
In my view, it’s been pouring rain,
It’s been like this for ages, really.
So don’t turn my pages,
Don’t remove the flooring and pain.
And ask – who are you saving here?
My faith or your craving
To be close when I disappear?
But I’m steady where I stand.
Be ready to fight
If you ever dare to give me a command.
-JW
I’ve drafted way too many goodbye notes to let you finish a single one.
I’ve shot myself too many times to ever trust you with a barrel of the gun.
Call out my double standards and swear that you’ll never speak to me,
Comfort your vividly green envy but let my wide eyes be your prophecy –
Don’t you ever follow me, don’t you ever step a foot in my direction.
Trust the gut that’s pulling you away from the path of polished affection.
The little perfections will turn into an avalanche that buries the strongest.
One day the immaculate snow won’t melt away until the middle of August.
Take my advice as a warning but don’t carry it home like a gilded shield.
You can’t learn a lesson worth your while if your lips are spitefully ceiled.
But I’ve drafted too many farewell addresses to give you any ink for free.
Put my silly words in a backpack, waste them over another nosebleed
Until you find your true creed.
-JW
Trams pass through me at midnight, they’re all empty and sound,
And I stand on the rails pushing away spiky, grey clouds.
The silence disarms me but the darkness melts like warm butter,
My feet weaken by the second as shame angrily splutters.
The asphalt is the path of the forgotten – yet, my legs get weaker.
It’s a shame, really, I’ve only been running for one weekend,
But my high-flying morals have turned into a deadly splinter
That will kill off all my innocence by the next winter.
The red in my cheeks is crawling up to the whites of my eyes.
Perhaps I rushed when accepting this Trojan horse of a prize –
Even the road less travelled can turn into the bleakest routine
If you’re already a ghostly mist masked as a fine-tuned machine.
But escaping the truth can only get one so far, and I knew it.
I raised the seven headed dragon, then waltzed right through it –
Until it burned me to a crisp while I pretended to be its king…
Now I walk the streets as a wisp of charcoal smoke
With two scarlet scars replacing my rosy wings.
-JW
Trees by my window turn chartreuse, they have lungs to feed and souls to sting.
The birds return home with the highest of winds, bringing the first breath of spring.
My eyes feel like an anchor in this scene, they’re ruining the view with bright red fear.
The blood I shed for vile creatures keeps visiting at night, threatening to disappear.
And I worry – maybe I got out too late to ever pull myself back together again?
Maybe I truly played my last card, ceiled the faith, and lost myself as a friend?
The pound of flesh I offered them for free wasn’t an invitation to rob my skull empty –
But I thought once I left, we would be even, yet, I’m broken and they still have plenty.
So where is the fairness my ego promised? Where are the roaring melodies?
The life spins faster and faster around me but I no longer feel like its centrepiece.
And the trees get greener, the city gets louder, the sunlight numbs me to the bone.
I pray each night to the gods I dethroned
That I still have the spite to never answer the phone.
-JW
My anger never finds its rightful place.
I’m shaking, I’m hurting,
I’m just taking up your space.
The past spins out of tune when I’m in doubt
About whether forgiving you
Was the best route.
And you have seven other copies of me
But I didn’t agree
That you can simply use them whenever I flee.
Still – you don’t take my words at face value,
Leaving me hungry,
Stripped of all the values.
I refuse to step down to your level
Because the anger’s too clever
To get shamed and called a rebel.
So bring out your best battle swords.
I’m shaking, I’m hurting,
I have a bloodlust for your wicked words.
-JW
I hope you bite open the misery pills like I did,
Choke on their acidic poisons
Covered in your whitest fibs.
Don’t call dibs on my morals, not just yet.
The walls are closing in on me
But the floors are soaking wet
And they might cave in to set me free
From the last torture device in this town
That still brings you glee –
The lava leaking down my back.
Oh, the irony, the always fruitful tree.
I was never your problem,
Yet, you insisted that it takes tree
To love, to tango, to cause a riot…
I was a wild mango and you threw me out
Pretending I’m too rotten to be on your diet.
So tell me – how does it feel right now
When all you taste is bitterness
And every second is a waste somehow?
I hope you bite open the misery pills soon,
Choke on the sentences that branded me
Forever your little fool.
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 