Category: Candy’s diaries

My reflection dances in your irises,

It twirls and sparkles like moonlight.

I tend to keep my own promises

But I get swallowed into your highs.

You were right, we never mattered.

The more I pushed, the further you ran.

Between the breaths you muttered,

You drained me in bottles and cans.

Now I barely remember your scent

And how you pushed me away.

I even forget about how far I went,.

Time turns the moonlight into clay.

-JW

My neck bends to your winds and spells out every sentence you mutter.

I am enchanted by your hexes as my spite slides down into the gutter.

Not that long ago I volunteered to be one of your muses,

But you rearranged my words like a puzzle, and I politely refused the music.

My arms swing into your winds and cry for your love in the darkest hour.

I am stuck between your teeth with the rest of my world that you devoured.

No, I did not ask you for much, but you were still unconvinced.

Now white walls talk to you in dozens of voices

And I am gone with the winds.

-JW

The rusty iron rods feel like feathers on my chest.

Don’t worry, don’t you decompress,

Just try to do your best

As you’re dealing with your own god complex.

The acid is dripping down my sides in harmony.

It’s not about what you thought of me,

It’s about how you reigned judgement of those who were free

Because you live in fallacies.

I am not your queen, I am not a lady.

Burn the lines if they seem too hazy.

You’re afraid because you just cannot make me into a mirage

With a weak voice and hands that are shaky.

All you want is pedal to the metal.

You’ve only been someone’s first choice when they settled.

I get it, love, it must hurt to fall off the saddle,

So you channel your resentment into the corporate ladder.

And the knives feel gracious on my tongue.

Go and teach a lesson to the young,

Set an example on how to drown a voice yet unsung

As you’re desperately removing my gurgling lungs.

-JW

You acted like it was difficult to dig a hole in my spine.

You pretended for decades that all the things I have gathered were not really mine.

But I forgave because I always push through the pain.

There are no shortcuts or leeway for those who do not learn the rules of the game.

Guilt knows how to crawl on your shoulders without a sound.

I was running, bruising my own knees just to realize that I was the feared hound.

And you convinced me that letting go is oh, so easy, baby,

But I am on a guilt trip, lost and alone in the desert, with no one left to save me.

The anger inside tears apart all that is tranquil and scenic.

My teeth are sharp, every creature steps back when I smile wide, like I mean it.

You act cool, you keep your distance, you just observe

As they come up with theories about my origin story that are nothing but absurd.

I forgave you then, and like clockwork I forgive you now.

You know they will never believe me, a beast this violently off-putting and loud.

Humiliation is a strong leash; it chokes you without a sound.

I keep running, bruising my own knees, knowing too well I am forever bound.

-JW