I dream about boats crossing stormy oceans
Filled with lust driven poets seeking their deaths.
I reach for the salty breezes like a child,
And there is no one to stop these future regrets.
Waves crush over heads and crush our bones.
I worry that this story will end in a scene.
Barrells float in the air like spellbound birds
As the sky vomits colors, purple and green.
-Jackie
Why does falling in love feel like photographing ghosts?
Why does it feel like chasing after translucent clues?
I have no proof, just a sad demeanor and joyless toasts.
Maybe the pain will go if I turn on the local news.
Why does the iridescent sheen in my eyes drip water?
I could write a hundred endings, but I crave just one.
My skull will let me fall, yet it will not let me barter.
I can make my excuses,
The fate has already won.
-Jackie
Paramours could not sweep me off my feet.
I was too busy chasing empty love.
Too busy to see what was hidden underneath,
Too proud to admit what I didn’t know.
Nothing has changed, I still stand tall,
And my heels are agents of disarray.
My loneliness burns down churches and malls,
Leaving devotees there to sulk and pray.
-Jackie
I wish I could tell you a tale, but now it is all just a blur.
Finding my old self was much harder than losing her.
The roads I took still wait for me to pay them back.
I wonder if they will curse my spite and my hidden tracks.
Months pass and I stay glued to a screen at midnight,
Trying to overrule my thoughts, so tranquil and benign.
I know that she is still out there dripping paint on paper,
And I wish I could remember,
But my memory wavers.
-Jackie
I wonder if all this emptiness I carry serves as my armor.
Am I saving myself or am I following the recipe for disaster?
Is there more to me than the nothingness and the roaring rage?
I feel like if I take a single step, they will burn this stage.
Therefore, I stay in place and wait for the waves to pass.
Some voices tell me that I am plastic, but I smell like grass.
These memories buried deep in my chest, they want out,
But the whispers are getting louder, so they avoid the crowds.
I wonder if all this loneliness will ever pay off my debts.
Will life come to collect or will it let love trap me in nets?
Everyone promised to warn me when the first cloud formed.
I feel like a desert island caught in the middle of a storm.
-Jackie
I stand here like a granite statue,
Immortalizing your fears.
I’m the blood on a stained glass,
The deadly breath you hear.
I lurk in nightmarish shadows
And I prey on good deeds.
I’m the judge and the punisher
Tying you to your seat.
-Jackie
My youth gets wasted on grimy streets,
It cries for mercy on two bruised knees.
I don’t know how this cruel cycle started,
But I lost the map and got outsmarted.
I used to fight for the bridges I built,
I used to cry if the hero got killed.
Did my values get lost between the pages?
Did I lose my value when I built this cage?
Friends from my past still sing me praises,
They’re quick to bring up the better days.
But I see the bruises on my self-respect,
The bruises those careless people left.
My youth gets wasted on dirty streets,
It begs me to hide underneath the sheets.
I don’t know why I keep chasing the winds.
I lost the maps and I missed the hints.
-Jackie
Gasping for air,
It’s such a faithless affair.
You’re trying not to drown
As they drag you down.
You talk to yourself
Because no one can help.
The water is quiet,
Breath doesn’t defy it.
And nobody hears
As they break your spears.
Your throat is gone,
Ripped out by a swan.
-Jackie
The red lights glisten like rubies on my street
As I pass them singing,
Swinging my hands like a careless creature.
The crowds stand still, cursing my innocence,
Shooting muffled screams my way,
But I was never their god or their preacher.
The tires screech, trying to scare me into silence,
And I wish I could be afraid.
I wish I had a bone I would not be willing to break.
Only one more light and I will be done with this,
Only one more scarlet lantern
And I will sit down at the old muddy lake.
But the concrete sighs and crashes like a wave,
Trapping me in its skeleton,
And I know I will not make it out alive.
The crowds lighten up, their faces red and fearful,
As the grey sky swallows me whole,
And its teeth feel like the cruelest knives.
-Jackie
The gauze on my palms turns amber,
It drips translucent liquids on the pavement.
One more drop and I will fall down,
I will break my past, then try to reframe it.
The stitches pull at my thoughts
While the scalpel punctures my left lung.
I need a moment to pull it together,
But I know I am cursed to leave this world young.
Wild animals scratch my throat.
I cough but nothing ever helps the itch.
My feelings swirl like dangerous waters,
And I think they want to catch the witch.
The head that I carry feels heavy,
It leans to the side, greeting the night,
And my skull cracks like a hard candy,
But at least I make it through the fight.
-Jackie
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 