Month: Nov 2022

Your wary gaze hits my skin like the first September rain,

And I try to dry off between kisses and lip stains.

Your silences nick my freezing skin until it’s peeling.

I have grown wiser, but not enough to stop the bleeding.

My face is a door covered in some cracking paint.

It depends on the onlooker whether I’m a fresh saint.

Still, your touch shoots through me like an absolution,

And I try to sit still, but my head reaches for conclusions.

Do I deserve your answers, or should I reject your words?

You bury me in daisies when others offer me swords.

Should I let you catapult me in the sky in full force?

Are you just a fail-safe or are your palms some trapdoors?

-Jackie

The last scraps of us get discarded from my aching head,

And all the thoughts that once mattered evict themselves.

I was holding onto hope like some mythical thread,

But it is time to find more wonder in somebody else.

The throbbing anger washed away the moment I let you lose.

Now I know your name, but I barely know the man.

Not sure if you are hurting or drafting us a new truce,

Not sure if I will waste a moment sipping on your plans.

The first snow covers up the muddy footprints you left,

And soon enough the tale of you will erase itself.

One more year and I will no longer mourn this like a death.

Your memory will be a dusty statue on a shelf.

-Jackie

You put a fresh dahlia behind my ear last night,

And I have been waiting for it to turn to ashes.

I came to you to save myself from new harm,

But the flowers grew through the lightning flashes.

My soul ran for the exit, yet you chased it home.

I told you the truth, but it made you smile.

Through red roses, my dying freesias and rust,

I killed the darkest depths of borrowed denial.

-Jackie

I fight the words you never spoke,

But I daydream about forgiveness.

I spill wax on my old cloaks,

Hoping you won’t mind your business.

The final letter does not arrive

And these grapevines stay silent.

My skull is but a fuming hive,

My hopes get crushed by lost giants.

Do you even plan to find me?

Have we burned the bridge for good?

The dark voices stand behind me,

Telling me to burn these woods.

Do I let you go alone?

Will the hounds find your cold flesh?

I fight a feeling in my bones,

Screaming that I should confess.

-Jackie

Maybe it isn’t all bad.

Maybe this isn’t mayhem.

You made me lose your affection,

But I’m still falling in love this December.

I’m meeting a lonely stranger

And calling their plot holes mine.

Maybe it isn’t all bad,

Maybe I should’ve sold you for a dime.

-Jackie

Bite my head off and barter it for some peace of mind,

Tell yourself it’s never too late to kill off my kind.

Your legs crawl up my spine with divine affection.

I can’t look back,

Can’t take another resurrection.

Spit out my past kindness like it’s poisonous licorice,

Stare right at your mistakes and talk pure gibberish.

You crave the warmth I poured right onto your bones,

But I can’t do that now.

You have to die on your own.

-Jackie

My thoughts, the very same you used to love,

Now twirl like the first November snow,

Erasing the existence of the path you paved,

Allowing the little light inside to glow.

My shadow, the very same you left for the dead,

It knocks on the glass until I lose my grip.

One day the rays will rid me of the memories

And bring ease into my fingertips.

My neck, the very same you wanted to snap,

Now bends under a gentler touch.

You branded me too demanding to love.

Turns out I did not even ask for much.

-Jackie