Month: Jun 2021

Flashes

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I cannot help but wonder – what if I let myself fall?

What if I lost my pride and answered the call?

Not like it matters at all

When I am ten feet tall.

I am just wondering – what could have happened

If I never stalled?

Now I can only imagine our lives overlapping

Until they become a single figure.

Will the timeline keep snapping?

Will it break us in half, will my part be bigger?

I cannot help myself, the thrown away shots keep flashing…

Is it you behind the trigger?

Or is it my imagination begging for the thunder to stop crashing?

-JW

Burnout

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The kitchen sink is leaking for the third day in a row.

I keep re-watching the tragedy unfold,

Sitting in the first row.

My bedsheets trap me in chain-like embrace.

I cannot leave, no.

The night has lost its honest face.

There is no one to call, no one to answer the cries.

Reality seems so fragile,

It is only hardened by lies.

And the windowsill speaks my mother tongue.

What a shame – burning so bright

To burn out so young.

-JW

Ode To Rain

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Just watch as they paint us

In charcoal and jet.

The rain will not save us

From yesterday’s regrets.

And they will not stay here

As the fields overfloat,

As we drown in the dark fear

With water in our throats.

But let them look away,

Let them say we deserve this.

Today is the day

When we break the surface.

Sometimes pressure is a gun,

Unloaded yet dismal.

Just watch them all run

Away from the drizzle.

-JW

Under The Surface

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Wait for me as the sea retreats,

Watch as it slips back into its seat

And waves when I disappear.

My home’s deep under the surface,

Where only the water circles.

It strangles my circuits.

Do not turn off the light beneath.

The abyss needs to feed,

It is looking up at your feet.

Never trust the darkness below

As it lurks, wanting you to slow.

And wait for me as the sea retreats,

Breathe out once more,

Then follow me into the heat.

-JW

Paradise Unnoticed

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Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?

I am still undecided, unsure about which truth I should believe.

We both stick to our own guns only trusting what we can perceive.

Maybe the time is finally right to take a moment and breathe.

But all I know for now is that you are walking down my street.

The front door keeps my secret covered as the moonlight bleeds.

Not sure if you will pass me by or come and take what you need.

Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?

I keep looking for answers like a dog chasing autumn leaves.

Some stare in disbelief but I know they have long called us thieves.

Maybe the time is finally right to sit down and grieve

The love we lost between darkening sky, between crooked front teeth.

I look back and wonder how the paradise went unnoticed under our feet.

We danced around in lavender silk, forgetting reason and sleep.

The rest moved on, but we were kicked out right into the deep.

Do you think the moon will shatter my porcelain skin once you leave?

-JW

Choking Hazard

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The green eye watching me through the keyhole blinks once an hour.

Its fluorescent pink lashes snow ominous, breathtaking flour.

My apartment turns into a choking hazard, but I don’t mind it.

The gaze takes over my loose limbs and I refuse to fight it.

I don’t know where to look, I can’t find a way to pretend any longer.

The grip I have on my thick wool blanket grows stronger and stronger. 

And the green eye pushes through the cracks in my dark windows.

It leaks on every surface; it goes wherever the nightly tide flows –

Until I can barely lift my lids as it elegantly floats closer and closer. 

My worst sleep demons are the greatest fear composers.

I scream for help, I even plead with the gods and their entourage,

But the emerald glow mutes the sound

As they turn my soul into a green collage.

-JW

Note #210

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The pain only lasted for a moment or two.

I put myself together with stiches dipped in glue.

My palms grew selfish, my skin grew slicker,

I covered the scars in bright blue stickers.

And some wanted to soothe my brittle bones –

But I do not deal in misery, I suppose.

So, I burned all the gifts they graciously brought me,

Perished the lies they branded “true stories”.

The ache lived through me, it laid roots like a tree,

You wanted to drown my sorrows in the sea.

Yet, the beacon guided you away from the bay.

But do not worry,

The pain only lasted for a day.

-JW

Betray Me Once More

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She never turned around, never even reconsidered.

I might be a lost cause, at least I am not a sinner.

The red car glistened in the sun as she balefully sped away,

Leaving me behind and knowing –

I will not live another day.

They tried to force a false confession out of me.

Did I kill him for fun or was it for jealousy?

The anger I felt turned into a ticking time bomb in my head.

The more violent they turned,

The more I saw red.

Next week’s papers will probably cover the scene –

Another body found by the Yellow Ravine.

Because I did confess, baby, saying it was all you, not me.

They offered me a head start,

Some form of clemency.

And it really was not difficult to track down the car.

I used to own it before you cheated me, after all.

“Betray me once and we are in the clear,

Betray me once more

And lose all you hold dear.”

-JW

Goner’s Lullaby

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When they dragged me away, you swore not to save me.

They dug a hole in the ground for me, baby.

If there is no one left to blame,

You can always blame me.

But do not assign me the shame,

Do not even mutter the words “they made me”.

When the push came to shove, you betrayed me.

I thought your intentions were not hazy.

But you know what they say –

Deceit only serves the lazy.

Stop confusing hunters with their prey,

Your poison is weaker than that of white daisies.

And I know you have long lost the strength to face me.

We do not have all night, baby.

You know the guilt is heavy already –

So, turn around or live with this daily.

I am still standing but my feet are unsteady.

If you just changed your mind, you could still save me.

-JW

Escape Route

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My right knee is bleeding out, and she is seeing red.

I am limping towards the car,

Barely keeping up my head.

“No finish line, only the start.”

Tires are screeching in the distance,

And I am not sure that we can make it.

Her lips close as she listens,

Confident yet jaded.

We hit the road in full force –

This is not the time to decelerate.

We heard they expect us up north

And we will not let them celebrate.

No, not today, let me live another night.

Allow me to hold her hand

As the stars embalm us in light

In the middle of the badlands…

I feel like slipping into darkness.

My grey jeans are dripping red.

She is trying her hardest

To put this chase to bed.

I know I must concentrate –

Must keep myself from bleeding out.

We turn, we accelerate.

The nausea turns into doubt.

Why are we passing the gas station?

It is up north from the town.

“Better price, a closer destination.

You either cheat or you drown.”

And her dark eyes grow azure

When she sees my realization.

Another siren turned slasher,

Another lover confused with a perfect stranger.

-JW