Protected cruelty knows no limits so let’s make it learn.
No mercy for those who leave helpless bodies to burn.
The mission has failed us and a prayer or chant won’t do –
For every stab you encounter, I will gladly take two.
No space for safety in this place with no sacred codes.
I don’t understand, it must be an upside down Morse.
The message is unforgivably brutal to those who hear –
Out of all the weapons you’ve got, I wouldn’t use fear.
-JW
Remember the money on the table, the bloody coins?
I didn’t touch it. Didn’t read the red talking points.
You stared in disbelief, as if I’ve cut you open for good.
You bit down on my fingers for pleasure
Just because you could.
Remember the jam-packed streets and our rendezvous?
It wasn’t a fortuity that I left the room raging blue.
The damage was limited but scarring was there to stay.
“No excuses for you to be insufferable again.
If you weep, I don’t pay.”
And once again – I stay.
-JW
(dedicated to my past anxiety)
You’re my favorite city light, my favorite paper cut.
For my every “if”, you have a concerned “but…”
And I don’t adore you that much when you cut my wings –
Yet you make my loneliness feel like gatherings.
(Maybe we weren’t the kings?)
Where did the time go while I stood perfectly still?
How come all the pages were burned in the paper mill?
You might not realize but it hurts – writing this verse,
Shouting at my future sliding before me in reverse.
(I must revenge the curse.)
Don’t mind me being foolish over another day.
My nerves are made of glass, my heart – of clay.
Correct me if I’m slurring through all the skull fractures,
I’m just learning this feeling was manufactured.
(Kill if ever captured.)
You’re my city of sin, my ghost town of innocence.
Every hope you mask with a crooked camera lens,
Shoot me twice in the chest, then wave the white flag.
The past seems fake, echoes are starting to lag.
(Fire, take out that drag.)
-JW
Help me sober up from the puddle of mud I chugged for you.
We’re not operating at the same frequency but it still rings true –
I cannot concentrate when your foolish mind runs around mine,
It sprints in circles, and I’m outrun, acting as if it’s fine.
No one’s giving a helping hand when I’m down and that’s normal.
I begged you not to cut my wrists and you asked to keep it formal.
One inch from the finish line is where I realized my painful mistake –
I didn’t let your cast iron heart drown in sea, I thought it was a fake.
You’ve been exquisite at making the darkest sides of the moon disappear,
And I’ve kept my guard up, kept the bridges burned and coast clear.
Somehow the mud in my stomach is making my heels unsteady,
And maybe we’re not on the same wave-length but to let you go –
I don’t feel ready.
But if you still have some love in stock, I won’t take any.
I’m not your lucky penny.
Not again.
I won’t take any.
I lit thirteen black candles to get you out of my four chambers
And I prayed to the gods and devils, even some saviors.
Every last belonging of yours I tossed out of the blurry window,
Every corner of my cell I cleaned, still –
You called me a bimbo.
Or was it my shattered ego throwing a tantrum once again?
I can’t compete with this, your venom is my ritualistic sin.
Four days I’ve been counting the seconds to our next row.
Baby, I’ll hit where it hurts but you’ll always go low.
Shows like this mustn’t go on, despite the audience chanting.
Whenever we crash again, they’ll call it a fabulous landing.
I’m over being type-cast as your next big step to freedom.
If you grow your demons for too long,
Someone needs to feed them.
It won’t be me, unfortunately, I’d rather run with my heathens.
The neon city might crash my bones but I’m not looking for Eden.
The next time you come down from the clouds pale, empty handed
Please keep in mind – it is still me you carved and forever branded.
You were never stranded.
-JW
And my bloodline charged me with arson
Even though I simply lit one spark.
They tried me for treason – no particular reason,
They didn’t want me to leave a mark.
“Let the witches burn, don’t fight it,” I say,
“Let them scream, let’s imagine it’s all realer than real.”
I embrace how they turn the narrative to betray.
One can boil blood but can’t melt steel.
With this low gaslight temperature
They’re ruining the play.
I’m not here to stay.
-JW
My promises are as cheap as my perfume
But, love, I paid for it with my pride
So don’t stick it up my nose, let doom be doom.
…I’ll meet you on the other side
Without your backstabbing smile.
My hopes are as low as my décolletage cuts
And don’t try to convince me that it’s too much
Because two-faced boys dance where everything rots.
I’d suggest we never keep in touch.
I wasn’t the joke but you treated me as such.
My past is as vivid as my lipstick stains
So don’t play with the devil to ease your pain,
Don’t suck me dry just to fill up your veins.
Take your ego down the shallowest of drains –
Or keep your distance, stay in your lane.
-JW
I was never able to love the beast inside of me
So I fell for the monster in you.
Who knew – that the death of me
Will be as sweet as honey and stick like glue.
And it will suffocate me like the town I outgrew.
But the current carries my bones to the sea
While I’m clenching the shell you drew.
Pull the curtain back once you count to three.
Pretend you never knew.
-JW
It’s OK, break the last hope in me and don’t hesitate.
Don’t you feel sorry for trying so hard to emulate?
It won’t be simple to live with this heart and this desire
But for five years in a row you have asked for it,
You’re the one to aspire.
It’s alright, take my friends and borrow my trophies.
Turn my beliefs into blow or cheap misanthropies.
If you ask one day – why does life hurt all of a sudden?
Don’t be afraid, put my body in dirt, sink it in a puddle.
It won’t help your struggle
But…
It’s fine, peel my skin off and read my diaries through.
My unexpected exit isn’t the reason I’m feeling so blue.
The crowds are wearing my liveliness over their shoulders,
Expecting to gain the power of a hundred soulful soldiers.
That’s what’s shaking my coffin, making me older
But what’s living without a little after-life odor?
One day we’ll mold the ones that were always the scolders.
-JW
Oh, how I loved you… You must admit
There wasn’t place for anyone else to enter.
We never called it quits
But you mocked me as a mind bender
So I hid and covered my fits.
Oh, how lucky I am to see you go down,
And for all you’ve done, I’m not surprised.
Hope this makes your mommy proud.
Hope I’m the Trojan horse, well disguised.
Your agony is my prize.
Oh, how glad I was about it being over.
Your friends talked loud but I didn’t listen.
It was always my doing, giving you a cold shoulder?!
Hope your next mistress – she christens,
Because the bravery in you so often bristles.
Oh, how bitter my existence must taste.
You’ve been played, and I’m clearly the face.
I wanted to forget but now it’s all waste –
The times you screwed me over… No trace.
Remember – you called me ‘out of place’?
(Never challenge a hellhound to a puppy race.)
-JW
The Daily Writing of Jackie Wright 