Month: May 2020

Changing

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I hate the city in sunny days, my make-up looks too bright and face – too wretched.

Silver Cadillacs rolling down the crowded streets, blaring, ‘cause every madness has a method.

Men seeing right through the vanilla scent in my hair, women looking me up and down –

Do they really think I chose this life out of boredom and became this decadent clown?

Every other car on the street sends me silent air kisses.

I don’t know whether they think:

“It’s the normalcy she misses.”

But I walk past the cars. Across the dust clouds. They’re settling on my contact lenses.

I’m swinging through the joys of this wicked ride and all it’s expenses.

-JW

The Two Sided Mirror

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Is there a point to this inner monologue anymore?

We’ve lost the sight of the shore, leftover memories spilled on the floor.

So hang me from another abandoned telegraph-pole –

This prolonged, unrequited speech is sultry, yet its plot has a hole,

A breakage as deep as my moon-drenched sentiments, or deeper.

No matter how hard I’m trying to exit this conversation, the catwalk gets steeper.

The sun has damaged my jet black self-pity, turned it dark blue,

And the wire I’m trying to cut has outgrown my wits, erased the last clues.

But maybe I’m not free to escape this two sided mirror image at all?

United with ones and zeros I stand, united I fall –

To pieces, like a high-end chandelier crashing on a white marble floor.

Is there a point to anything but this inner monologue anymore?!

Because they have taken away the door.

I have taken away the door.

–JW

The Cage

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You might be infected with your prejudices and I don’t have the cure.

Every day it’s a back and forth between me being aloof and you being insecure.

Holding up the frozen front takes too much effort to manage as a hobby,

And you will never hear this poem, but without me you would still need to lobby.

Being accepted is a necessity for most – for you it’s a desperate need.

The loyalty train missed your station, but we were young, dancing to “Dying Breed”.

We were losing control to chilly evenings, promising what we didn’t understand,

And I still recall the look on your face when I was holding somebody else’s hand.

The moon ran smoky pictures of our better days by my empty stare…

If your prejudices cost a thing, every single soul in your path would be a millionaire.

-JW

Deo

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Tie me down tightly the next time I try to claw my irises out.

The lights are acidic, music is pale and I don’t make myself proud.

Lie to me before you let the rope touch my infected neck –

And remember the hand they’ve given me came from a defective deck.

Don’t trust my cool when I approach the window so slowly.

Dearest, please, hold me back roughly, like you owe me,

Chain my feet to a block of static, mellow memories.

After all, we built this house from second-hand gossip and prophecies.

It’s time to let it slide through the fingers, let it dissolve.

And maybe, just maybe, saying goodbye will let it evolve.

So wrap the leash tighter but don’t let me look away.

The walls we built have to crumble right before my eyes

To make sure I obey.

-JW

The Revelation

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It feels irrelevant to feel the rut I’m feeling, but it’s still true –

My mind is rumbling, I can’t hear the chorus through the blues.

The fences are getting higher and I don’t want to manage,

And every day I don’t, my brain gets twice the damage.

I didn’t know you were listening to my story all along.

To you it might seem that I’m visionless or not that strong.

To you the picture has been painted through a distorting mirror.

But I don’t care –

Come, take in my suffering from the cuts, almost like a killer.

Then he whispers:

“Step away from the catastrophe for a second, let me ground it.

I know that the truths you’ve been hearing sound astounding,

And somehow you keep on beating the current as if it’s your cure –

But there comes a time to realize that you will not be judged

By the pain you endure.”

-JW

Enterlude

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Inscrutable gazes thrown at me from the empty corners.

This town has lost all shame, it’s gauging and devouring the mourners.

I sense a pair of evil peepers landing on my stripped emotions –

And the looks on their faces bite, but their sentences chew me up, these fake devotions…

A while back I would’ve sworn on my dignity to never let them get to you

But you left without saying goodbye, with her by your side, and I’m out of honor to prove.

No country far enough, my trail of betrayal will forever loiter around.

However, I have to flee the scene of the crime, time is an impatient hound.

Way back I heard someone mentioning the neon sins at a city behind the desert,

Three seas apart from this town, just far enough for me to run in black army boots and a nightshirt.

That’s where I’m going, no unnecessary looks over the shoulder, no farewells left for friends –

And why would I warn them? They’re the reason I have to fend,

No time left to make amends.

-JW

Barely

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The glitz and the glamour are ruining our youth –

Too much lipstick, too short of a skirt,

The heels are too high, the words are too brute.

You can’t be book smart if you’re also a flirt.

The anarchism is teasing their brain.

No politics for teens! Stay in your lane.

Shut it, what do you know about pain?

Let’s all follow The Dream and stay insane.

The information is spreading too fast –

When I was twenty, I had a blast.

Now they’re opposing. Who even asked?!

When opinions are given, theirs should go last.

(The reality is changing them too early.

Time is running out, most of them aren’t treated fairly.

But you would rather look away than answer sincerely?

When you claim the youth is pampered, I would say – barely.)

-JW

Goodbyes

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Three nights ago your tender skin kissed mine in a violent dance.

Three nights ago I asked you to be mine; I knew it wouldn’t last.

Three nights ago our thoughts were oblivious – so was the romance.

Three nights have gone by but I’m still waiting for the horror show to pass.

I waited on that street corner, wrapped in words of people passing by.

The sun went higher as my hopes got lower. I don’t know what happened next.

Was it the cellphone ringing or was it my gut-wrenching cry?

I don’t recall the order… Just the endless pity calls and the stupid texts.

Three nights from now I will be burying your things in the backyard.

Three nights from now you will be turned into ashes ten miles from where we met.

Three nights from now our song will play on the radio, the one that tore us apart.

Three nights will go by but I won’t be able to forget your eyes

And my regret.

-JW

Take a Bite

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Walking the streets feels lonely since I’ve been doing it to pay rent,

So many strange faces and worn out places, so many mixed messages sent.

The blood doesn’t ache – but the heart breaking for my wasted youth stings.

It’s been a while since I’ve stopped running or held a pair of kings.

Shadows over my shoulder building up in an unholy, black avalanche,

Yet everyone’s convincing me – look back, it’s a dove holding an olive branch.

No friends out there left to betray, but my loyalties don’t lie in the past.

Only so many bites to take out of me, I wonder –

Who will be the very last?

-JW

Leaving Ante: Part V

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Healing

We’re building a corporation from scratch – some luck and eighty-seven guns.

I’m calling you my co-conspirator when they find out so you don’t even run.

Zero factories around the globe, no employees good enough to hire –

Yet I’m convinced you’re the one ruining this, you started the tax haven fire.

The upholstery business is a nice shell for your mother’s inaudible cries.

It must’ve been Linklater who taught you how to be fine when the time flies.

My feet are sore from carrying the boxes of liquid guilt into the basement –

But I don’t mind, the art you keep and treasure was begging for defacement.

Now the flames are eating up the framework of the company without any shame.

Perhaps the next business we build will take less gasoline to stay in the game.

-JW