Tag: Mirror Wounds

Choosing not to dissolve completely was easier than deciding to stay,

It took five gallons of pure revenge to get me out of my own way.

In those slow moments before I touched the trigger, I saw your face

And I knew in an instant that racing my own demons

Is not really a chase.

Choosing not to let myself die was much simpler than deciding to live.

I see you’ve worked on your alibis, they’re dark like some oil spills.

Each moment of pain reminds me of you with the force of a bitter pill

So I pack up my pride just to let you speak about things

That don’t really kill.

Happiness earned through freedom is not happiness at all.

They might meet you at your lowest,

Might meet you at the downfall,

But they will watch you pass on the downward spiral

As you fall into the plain grave

Engraved with a word “liar”.

Some will cheer when your hair gets dirty with the moss,

With the leaking rain waters…

They will miss you the most –

At least in the eyes of another passer-by writing a novel.

And those who turned you inside out

Will pass your mother the shovel.

There’s fright in my fingers when I set your ruins ablaze,

There’s tension in my neck as you go burning up in flames.

But what scares me the most is how much I enjoy it,

Seeing you mouthing overdue sorries for a brief moment.

And tomorrow I won’t have to pick up your broken frames,

Won’t have to chase these blended dreams just for the chase.

The moment undefiled mud got up to your high-held chin,

I knew you’d let everyone else’s high horse to win.

Now I’m riding in the saddle, calling mercy or shame,

Somehow the call comes easy when I get to your name.

One day I’ll pull the trigger, I’ll erase what started it all.

Your blurry portrait will swallow the fire

And finally make you small.

The pills melt into the ground where wild flowers once grew,

Violets mixing with tinctures and turning into glue.

I promised you last Sunday that I will take the path home

But now I am convinced – to each their own.

There are concrete blocks building in my cold, twisted veins

As I turn towards you and lift up my veil.

Seven muted tongues speak for me but they tell you lies.

I hope to god someone rips off this disguise.

When they put me on the stage, I swallow the rising fury

Along with the medicine that never cured me.

“It’s only dress rehearsal, protest all you want, honey.”

The lights turn my head a little blurry.