Tag: love letters

Parched

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Do you know how hard I’m trying to write this when I’m incapable of muttering a single sentence?

Do you ever just wonder why I keep scribbling nonsense each day as if I’m bringing myself the vengeance?

Have you ever been left alone with your thoughts for a moment too long, and the clarity gets as sharp as a sword?

Have you… This one’s too personal but I’ll ask anyway if you give me your word.

…promise?

Have you missed somebody with the force of a hundred waterfalls crashing down without compassion?

No, no… But have you missed someone more than any relative, any friend? As if their love was just a fraction,

A drop in the ocean compared to how parched your throat has been lately. It’s a desert.

I’m trapped in it – and nothing worldly that can be offered will make my poisoned mind avert.

Luckily, nothing lays seeds in my heart. Nothing grows in sinking sand. No saviors left in sight.

Only drought and unrequited lovers left alive. No one sleeps in this land as the nights are also snow white.

Have you missed somebody like this or am I hallucinating out of the malice?

If this is the Wonderland they promised, please do me a favor

And never wake Alice.

-JW

Salty

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My love letters to you always describe how I’m sinking, how I’m out of air,

Lungs collapsing under pressure, nose bleeding fury and salty despair.

It’s difficult to take another step in your direction as I’m fearful

The weight of carrying this bond might break me when you brand me as an earful.

Why is our dynamic always the one between a ruffian and coward?

We keep switching the roles, but one is always overpowered.

Is it a crime – dreaming about jumping on a runaway train with you, then fleeing?

My words work like a liquor on you, some days you’re screaming, some – you’re kneeling.

Often we imagine getting violent, even when we’re stone cold sober.

I really wish my lust would get you stupid high but you were never a smoker.

Untitled pages of our story keep flashing in front of my eyes. They’re burning.

Evaporating in the spring breezes, getting twisted in sun, almost as it isn’t hurting.

My love letters to you have never been love letters, they’ve been anchors.

Half of me wants to go see the deep end, half – hopes I’m pulled out by a tanker.

Both outcomes will come with a very similar cost, with no precalculation.

Both twists will show me another way to master flotation.

-JW

No one’s coming

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Can’t keep my stare away from pretty people.

Can’t keep my hands away from broken things.

I’m so enchanted when I know you will not say “no” to these flames –

But who’s gonna save you when I’m choking you with tears on late evenings?

Never been in such a power position, never played these power games.

Do we just burst through the roof with sensation or do we ignore the desires and feelings?

Messing with your realities has been one hell of a ride but I’m wasted

And you’re probably getting high on your own ego again…

The sadness in your smile, I can taste it,

But sensing you near still wakes me up like cocaine.

Who am I really mocking here? You or me? Can’t be both, we’re nothing alike,

The worst of friends. Best of enemies. Can’t treat you humanly but can’t help treating you nicely.

Yet every storm that shakes you, kills me a bit. Are they planning a strike?

Do people know what’s going on? Are they attacking so we never choose wisely?

No one’s coming to save us anyway so go on, entice me.

-JW

When They Dragged You Away…

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I cannot write a decent goddamn sentence when you’re not close.

The words just don’t come out right when I can’t rip off your clothes

And strangle your body until everything’s written about, everything’s touched.

I was burning alive when they dragged you away but the people simply watched.

Can’t pull myself together for another second. I need to hear you think.

Never been able to look into somebody’s soul, but I do see yours – unless you blink

And tear it all up with not so loving notes on how I’m not rational. Again.

When they dragged you away, a part of me whispered: “Amen.”

But when it comes to obvious things and stating the facts, it’s simple –

Have loved you since the day you smiled at me one morning. Threw away my wimple.

It sounds dumb, let’s not pretend I ever sound wise speaking of you,

Yet – if I never wrote about your eyes, none of my writing would be true

As each time I sit down to create a tiny graveyard made up from words,

My chest aches. “Write “I love you” a hundred times. Until it no longer hurts.”

-JW

Seeing Red

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You sat there, one feet away, your arm right by mine. Your warmth – numbing.

I wish they could see me getting looked at this way.

They said I’m just trouble and my father left because of my shortcomings.

You brushed the fear away and you held me back when I was seeing red.

But when the sand castles I built came apart, I was screaming at the sea –

And yet, you didn’t see me as a threat.

You called me crazy a few times, I called you a moron, and we called it a day.

No matter what happens, your cheek in my hand is what matters,

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

You danced to the silly records I put on this afternoon when you thought it’s lost.

The circles you drew in the air while smiling at me

Was probably what I loved the most.

You have to go soon. You don’t know it yet but you have to leave.

I will drop out of this manic phase, I will break your heart without noticing.

By the corner we met you will heave.

You still are the only person I’m truly sorry to. I wish they could see me.

The way you looked at me like you could read between the lines of my mind

Made me think you could never leave me.

You know you can’t. I promise I’ll make it easy. My love, I swear –

If I had everything in this world, the only thing I’d me missing

Is having your scent to wear

Around my veins and arteries, pulsating,

Spreading your sweet naivety across the room

Slowly detonating

The strings of my heart.

My love, I’m only playing the part.

-JW

Seventh Heaven?

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I can smell it in your hair – how you’ve missed me yesterday.

I can sense in in your stride – how you want to hold me tight

And whisper in my ear that it’s OK.

I’m so blissfully in love, can you imagine?

My friends would kill me if they knew

How this affair is truly tragic.

The way I burn myself to keep you from freezing

Is not romantic. And if you think I’m blind, please don’t,

I know that I’m not only pleasing him or teasing.

My body gets more tired as the days go by but I don’t feel it –

The manic episode is up and running, no need to heal it

With another dose of pills that once again will make me livid…

There’s nothing less true than me being furious, why do I have to live it

If I can just keep falling for you each day, over and over?

For the first time I feel like I don’t have to look over my shoulder

As I don’t believe my past can figure out my location in seventh heaven.

I’m finally going to confess my love when the clock strikes eleven.

Will you be there when I come clean of the heaviness chasing me?

Will you be there just for the thrills, for the sight you’ll see?

Will you beg me to leave or once again touch my jawline with your eyes,

Acting as you’ve never heard the cries

My body makes when we’re alone and I hear you breathing…

But I hear your body too some days.

It’s pleading.

-JW

Detained

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The only way that you’re pretty

Is that you’re pretty mean.

Hate to like you so much, baby,

But I love your hips, so lean.

The only way you’re chill

Is when your jokes are cold.

Can’t stop laughing at my own expense,

Can’t believe you’re still this bold.

The only way you’re sweet

Is when you sugarcoat your lies.

I’m not surprised, but you’re so neat.

Didn’t you know –

Don’t get high on your own supplies?

The only way that you’re outstanding

Is how naïve you can remain.

Hate to love you’re fits and swearing

But by your side I’ll be detained.

-JW

I hate this poem…

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I’m gonna love you from a distance. I’m gonna want you from a far.

I keep telling myself lies – that I’m good when we’re apart.

Sitting here, drinking, and hoping that a car ran me over today, twice.

For looking into those deadly nightshade eyes of yours I have to pay the price.

Have loved you for a week again, will hate you for the months to come –

But clearly that’s alright. I’d chug a pint of poison if it tastes like bubble gum.

Never been the quiet type, observer or admirer. I fucking hate this poem too.

When and why did I go blind? Why do I wonder tirelessly, without a clue?

I haven’t lost a part of me in you, yet what scares me the most here

Is that I’ve found something new, and that’s simply not fair.

None of my friends dare to ask what I’m truly feeling because they know

Once the truth’s out I’ll chase you like Wall Street guys from 80-s chased some blow.

I’m scared of ruining everything for you, but is there anything left to spoil?

When you speak of anyone else, the temperature raises as my blood begins to boil.

I’ve gone too low, I’ll admit it. My skull seems to be damaged with a crowbar.

Yet… I’m gonna love you from a distance. I’m gonna want you from a far.

-JW

A Maniac’s Love Letter

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How come – it’s another day in the fairytale land with so little joy?

You can’t buy the rights to my heart but you can always deploy,

You can always plan so that I don’t escape, yet I don’t really enjoy.

The glory might be the prize but his eyes, they don’t lie,

Chico, they’re my favorite decoy.

I’ve never asked for much when it comes to love, and I swear –

A little sense was all I wanted. Not another mask to wear.

My nerves are built of paper, they burn and they tear.

Not so sure about the others, but if it all breaks loose –

You’re the one I’m gonna spare.

The whites of your eyes look ugly when you roll them, blaring.

You launch them at me like bloodhounds. I think about disappearing

As my last act in this unrequited game. Then I recall us daring

To never leave a fib behind – and it would’ve worked if you weren’t

That passive about baring.

I’m angry. I followed your scent through the mud and got stuck

In this frozen forest with no way out. No matches. I’m out of luck.

But life goes on for you. And it won’t be you, selling tears for a buck,

Desperately waving the white flag and saving for flares to cope

With another day that will suck

In the fairytale land.

How could I dream so grand?

Now my mouth is full of sand

And I’m begging you to take me home

To the places I do understand.

-JW

playing jesus

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Three days ago I was head over heels for you. I was craving

Passion so disloyal it had a hit on my moral savings.

The fire exits were blocked and Missio was playing –

I couldn’t make sense of myself, but the reviews were raving.

Two days ago I had envisioned our first crash together,

Like two junkies, and you giving me a jacket in cold weather.

Or did you hate the plan from my very first dream, altogether?

Was it just me thinking of two cigarette buds as of birds of a feather?

Yesterday you had to enter the room twice before I noticed –

Out of the low hanging fruits, you reached for the lowest.

It must’ve really stung when you saw yourself falling out of focus

But don’t call yourself the victim when your alibis are bogus.

Today you shot your warnings and ended up gravely heedless.

It’s funny to think – I don’t know a person that I could need less.

Despise that the warmth of your neck still leaves me speechless.

Must’ve been a nightmare if I decided to fall for another one

In a desperate need to be jesus.

-JW